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*Hugs Lindsay* How are you? :)
*Hugs Felicia* Whats going on today with you ? :) |
My psych changed my medication so hopefully it works
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I have counseling today.
and I'm dealing with tons of suicidal thoughts, so I don't really know what's up with me. |
*Crosses Fingers for your meds to work Ryuu* *Hugs*
*Hugs Felicia* I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts these last few days too, :( I hope your counselling session go's well and you can get some things off your chest :) |
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RYUU, i'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Felicia, I hope counselling goes well and the thoughts ease. Today I was asked to come back on the next Prince's Trust team as assistant team leader again. It's nice that I have been asked but I don't know if i'm up for it. I'm struggling through this team. I'd like to go back on residential but the rest would just be boring repetition. Youth work isn't something that I want to do but if I left after this team i'd have nothing to do. I don't know what to do. |
*hugs everyone*
I update my r/v (see siggy) if anybody cares/wants to read it... Just figured I'd say so since I rarely bother with my r/v (or much else) these days... *wanders off* |
*Hugs Crimson* I read your R/V first paragraph , and am sorry to hear your Mil issues :( .I'm sorry I didn't read more but I cannot focus/concentrate on reading , really sorry. My heads all over the shop :S
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*hugs mark and everyone*
felicia, hope the thoughts go away and counseling goes kay <3 |
*Hugs Heather* How are you ?
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*hugs Mark* It's ok Mark :) Just had to get at least some of it out, ya know?
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I know how it can all get pent up inside Crimson yes. *Hugs*
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It's early but I'm mentally exausted with urges and craving and suicidal fantasys all day and I'm not asking for them they're coming of their own accord :S
*Hugs Wardmates goodnight* Tomorrow might be better it's the 3rd right , 3rd time lucky :) |
*tucks Mark in* G'night hun. Hope tomorrow is lots better :)
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Hey guys *cuddles*
Sorry for being a bad wardie recently. My pain is getting worse and I broke down hysterically crying and shaking today. Feeling a little better but feeling pretty crappy. :( I'll be here for you all as much as I can when I feel better. Sorry guys x |
*cuddles sarah* you are not a bad wardie... not at all.
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*huggles all*
So damn anxious. Scored 46 on a test (K10) which is an indicator of anxiety and depression/suicide distress. The "highest" score is 50. :-( Meh. So.damn.over.this. |
*hugs wardies lots*
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I'm sorry that so many of us are struggling :-/ wish there was something I could do for you all.
*bakes some no calorie cookies and places them out for everyone to snack on* |
I'm probably gonna be a bad/ absent wardie for a little bit... at least the rest of this week. I have uni, plus I've gotta do something about these suicidal thoughts.
I'll read and think of you guys, but I'm not feeling so conversational and such. *hugs everyone* |
*cuddles felicia* you are not a bad wardie. You have to take care of yourself first. Hope that the suicidal thoughts lessen. We are here if you need us.
That goes for everyone, nobody is a bad wardie... even if i say it of myself sometimes... its not true |
*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Sarah* *Hugs Kahlia* *Hugs Felicia* *Hugs Laura* *Hugs Helen* *Hugs all my other wardmates* |
*yawns* evening... well morning really
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*hugs all*
I feel so lousy ... :-( |
*Hugs Julie* Morning / Evening :)
*Hugs Kahlia* Whats up my little adoptee?:) |
Hi everyone.
What's happening, Kahlia? How are you, Mark? |
*Hugs Lindsay* I'm strugging over my birthday and my "suicide plan day" in a week , I keep wanting to cut and drink .......*Sigh* I am trying really hard to think positivley , How are you Lindsay?
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*hugs Julie* - Hope you get a good night's sleep.
*hugs Mark* - You are strong enough to beat it Mark. Maybe you could plan something good for the next day? Something you would really want to live for? Something to counteract the bad stuff? Just a thought. *hugs Lindsay* I'm not doing too crash hot right now. I'm freaking out at the drop of a hat, I'm suicidal and all the stuff I need is in the house and I want to SI. On top of that I can't sleep and I'm not sure if that's because I'm freaking out or if it's the rain on the roof. My psychiatrist has been assuring me that my resurrgence of the agoraphobia, my wanting to run away and SI and suicidal urges are all caused by the pneumonia and antibiotics and therefore will disappear by the weekend .... I have to admit I am definitely not convinced. I have no reason to doubt him but it seems such a strong reaction. And why didn't I have that reaction to every lot of antibiotics I've been on when I've been sick? Meh. |
*hugs everyone then runs and hides in the denial tent*
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Kahlia, I made the suicide plan , pretty detailed a while ago when I was suicidal , I'm not suicidal now despite getting these horrible suicidal fantasys , but the 9th holds a lot of significence for me I've got 4 appointments that day and a Mental health helpline number for the evening , I will no doubt be here on the ward too . I'll need a lot of support . I really wish I could put one of my support team in my pocket and bring them home just for that evening heh.
*Hugs Ya* I'm sorry you can't sleep , hmmm camomille tea or lavender scented things do you have, To relax you ? *Hugs Crimson* I did'nt spot you there :P |
So much stress at home with my mum that I'm having chest pains again... :/
*cuddles wardies* |
*Hugs Sarah*
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*cuddles Sarah*
if only I had a magic wand... |
*Hugs Crimson*
If you DO get a magic ward could I please have a lend of it? :) How are you ? |
Of course! I'd teleport over with it straight away!
Eh, up and down so far today... you? |
mark we should plan something fun for ur birthday something nice that u can do for urself. wat'd u think
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*Hugs Crimson* I'm, well, I'm struggling to be honest , Not looking forward to my birthday and the 9th . Oh how I would like to go to bed tonight and wake up on the 10th . I'm feeling low to , so much I should have done in life by 30 and I haven't :( I'm sorry to moan .
" I feel so pennyless inside " |
Thats a good idea Julie , I am at my parents on my birthday weekend but will try and visit the ward :) what should I do?
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i havent thought that far ahead yet but everyone in the ward think of good fun things for our mark to do for his birthday and good fun stuff to do on the 9th ok everyone this is an important goal for us to help our marky
*huggles marky* *frowns and giggles* hmmm no punchuation (and i cant spell yay) |
*Huge Hugs Julie* Thankyou so so much :D It makes me feel nice having friends like you :)
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I don't believe that anything in life really has a do by date. One of the lawyers I work with has proved as much. She turned 50 before she had her bar exam. :)
Anything you like to do that can pull your mind away from your birthday in the days leading up to it? |
I will just try and take it bit by bit Crimson . I've always *ALWAYS* got music on nearly . I'm trying really hard to distract myself . it's hard but I have you guys to talk to. I bought a second hand Playstation game from ebay I started today , I keep losing though but that is a distraction , I'm out of gaming practice heh .
Baby steps I think , I'll try not to think of my birthday or the 9th , I'll think about tomorrows breakfast then I'll think of something esle , my game maybe , does that sound a good idea. But please bear with me if I need a little extra support over the next 7 days :) |
*sits and cries in the corner*
why am i such an epic fail? |
You're not Crimson *hugs*
*hugs ward* |
*hugs all*
Mark: I know the 9th has a lot of significance. What I was trying to suggest was making the 10th a "happy significance" day that you would want to live for so even if the urges hit you have something to counter them with. A kind of "no, I want to live to see tomorrow because of x". I do understand where you are coming from. I go through it every August 1st. |
*Hugs Crimson* you're not a fail hun .
Thats a good idea Kahlia :) *Hugs* *Hugs Helen* *Night night hugs for all my ward mates* |
*cuddles wardies* sorry for keep disappearing. So tired and down this evening I don't know what to do with myself. Hope you're all doing okay, I'm thinking of you all x
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*hugs Mark, Kalia and Helen*
Thanks guys but I sure feel like one... Got so tired of all the crap with my inlaws I blew up via chat at my husband and got so upset and angry I sat here crying at my desk throughout my lunch break. The following content has been hidden - Reason : whining
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Gotta go for now guys... my littlest one has an appointment I can't miss. *huggles all*
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God, it's 8:30am and I'm already so stressed and anxious .... so over this. :-(
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