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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 01-09-2010 09:21 PM

Heard from my mum... gram is out of surgery. so far so good but she just got out.

Doikers 01-09-2010 09:32 PM

*Hugs Taz* Thankyou.

I e-mail a residential place about sending me some info . they don't produce such info they sent me a couple of S.I, e-mail address's though , which was thoughtful of them.

*Hugs Crimson* I'm happy your gran is doing okay.

*Hugs Jill* are you okay,What did you take ? it's okay if you don't want to say.

The One Who 01-09-2010 09:33 PM

Glad your gran is doing okay, Crimson *hugs*

Scarletdreamer 01-09-2010 10:22 PM

*curls up in the corner & cries*

FlyingNy 01-09-2010 10:28 PM

*Hugs April*

What's the matter?

The One Who 01-09-2010 10:36 PM

What's wrong April?

Scarletdreamer 01-09-2010 10:36 PM

I'm hurt. Jarrod is... not being very understanding, in fact is being pretty harsh. I just got off the phone with my bestie and that was good but now I wish I could have things back the way they were a week ago when a hug from her or my parents could help things be better. Now it's like... the only person I have to depend on IRL is Jarrod and he's definitely being a disappointment in not even trying to understand EDs or ED behavior. He's just charging along in his own fashion and being himself, ordering me about and thinking that I'm going to follow his "orders" ... it just ****ing hurts. I ****ing hurt. And it feels like no one IRL cares.

:crying:

This has been an epically awful week (from Friday-today, so not technically a week, since they start on Sunday/Monday depending where you're from, but still...).

FML.

Scarletdreamer 01-09-2010 10:57 PM

Updated my r/v. For anyone who cares.

FML FML FML FML.

I want to die.

shadowedsoul 01-09-2010 11:11 PM

Big bear hugs april, please stay safe. Mark hmm yeah I'm okay,would rather not say.sorry

FlyingNy 01-09-2010 11:13 PM

I'm sorry April *hugs* it really sucks when people just won't listen to you. I have a friend like that, thinks she knows what's best and doens't give a **** what I want or think. Damn, she's pissing me off now. I don't have much advice other than something that will likely turn into a shouting match, which won't help. Sorry.

FlyingNy 01-09-2010 11:16 PM

Can I kill her? Actually, can I go on a murderous rampage and kill about four different people?

Scarletdreamer 01-09-2010 11:17 PM

*cuddles Lia & Jill* Thanks for the hugs, guys... also... *glomps Crimson 'cause I spy her!!*

Am still feeling quite ****. Sorry for the lack of individuals, and also sorry, Lia, that I don't have any advice to give. :( I really... don't know what to do about the situation(s) I am finding myself and I was supposed to call my therapist about how the appt with the nutritionist went but I'm really scared to do that... I don't know why. I guess because I... well, I don't know. ARGH. I hate it when I'm being irrationally irrational. :( For what sense that makes. And I have ****ing nobody to talk with IRL about this, minus my bestie... but she's busy right now & anyway, I don't want to bore her or make her sick of me as well.

:crying: Feel so ****ing alone.

PoisonedApple 01-09-2010 11:20 PM

*cuddles April*

PoisonedApple 01-09-2010 11:21 PM

*giggles at being glomped* you got me while i was reading your r/v. :P

taz35 01-09-2010 11:26 PM

*hugs Lia* If you could get away with it, why not? :P I don't recommend it though. Surely there's better ways...

*hugs Mark* At least they tried =/ That's more than plenty of other people will do...

*hugs Jill*

*hugs April* Sorry to hear Jarrod is being such an ass about all this. I don't have much advice to give but you're strong and smart I'm sure you'll work through this and figure something out <3

*hugs Crimson* Hope your gran heals up well!

Scarletdreamer 01-09-2010 11:46 PM

Oh great. Jarrod just seemingly "had a go" at me.

Not what I needed.

No one to talk with.

****.My.Life.

taz35 01-09-2010 11:50 PM

*bear hugs April* What exactly happened? If you feel like telling me, either on here or by PM. If not, that's fine too <333

Updated my r/v if anybody cares.

shadowedsoul 02-09-2010 12:14 AM

Cuddles april. Hmm I think my lip has twisted on one side, or it deff droping on the left side, thought I was imaging it. But it deff has. ****

MammaMia 02-09-2010 12:18 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Jill, please get looked at :'(

FlyingNy 02-09-2010 12:51 AM

Jill, it could be Bels palsy, or whatever it's called. It's where one side of you face drops and goes numb, as if you've had a stroke, it can last a few weeks at a time and comes back at random intervals. It can be a thing by itself or a sign of something more serious. I suggest going to a doctor. There are tablets you can take to make it better and clear it up quicker. *Hugs*

*Hugs April* You always have us lot. We're not going to judge you or make you do anything you don't want. I know how you feel. I have no one IRL. I feel so horribly alone sometimes. You can always PM me though if you want. *Offers love.*

*Hugs Taz* haven't read your R/V yet, but I hope you're OK, or at least safe.

Great about your Gran Crimson. And your bestie Helen. :D

PoisonedApple 02-09-2010 01:27 AM

*huggles everyone before running errands then home*

Kahlia1981 02-09-2010 02:07 AM

*huggles everyone*

Just dropping in quickly to offer *hugs* before I disappear up to the hospital. Meh.

taz35 02-09-2010 02:15 AM

*hugs Jill* Please, PLEASE get looked at by a doctor! I can't stress this enough... if your face is drooping even slightly on one side it can be a sign of neurological damage. It's not something to joke around about... and I'd hate for anything bad to happen. <3

*hugs Kahlia* I hope you're alright... if you don't mind me asking, why are you going to the hospital? No pressure to answer, of course.

*hugs Lia* I'm safe for the time being. Have a relaxing next couple of days planned which should work out nicely :) How are you doing???

anarchistl0ve 02-09-2010 02:27 AM

I wanna be pretty again :( I dont like the fat cow i am. yes I am a fat cow http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs385.snc4/44822_148523695170573_100000388314677_311577_18172 21_n.jpg

im the thing in purple

Scarletdreamer 02-09-2010 03:27 AM

Urf...

I'm back from a 3-hour-long "nap." In other words, I went to sleep (before taking a shower or my meds) to basically escape my feelings. And it worked. But now I just want to go back to sleep again (and probably will) after this post... because the feelings are coming back, I am beginning to understand the bliss of sleep, and I don't want to feel like a shithead again today. Have felt like that plenty of times.

Taz, thanks for the PM, and I might PM you back if that's okay, or you, Lia, or both... I don't know. <3 Thanks for the offers though, and I know that more PM boxes are open if I need to PM y'all, so thank you. *cuddles all*

I'm just so sick of living like this. I really wish that Jarrod understood. And not understanding... well, I do get why it would be frustrating to see me "fall back into this pit" of eating disordered actions, I do. But what I don't get is why he feels he has to... oh, I don't know. Don't worry, he's not violent, he's not that type. He's just... emotionally draining. And he is. For both of us I think.

I need to get back to bed before I regret something I type. Because I'm just that tired. Grrrrr... :'(

*cuddles all again, then toddles off to her ward bed*

risenfromperdition 02-09-2010 03:31 AM

my dads computer hates me =\ wont lemme open links o_O *pokes at it*

blahhh =[ feel gross and hafta try on a dress i have and pray it fits for cousins wedding... =s

risenfromperdition 02-09-2010 03:31 AM

*tucks april in* ^.^

taz35 02-09-2010 04:15 AM

*hugs Becca* You are gorgeous hun <33

*hugs April* Never a problem. Hope you sleep well tonight and feel better in the morning <3

*hugs Heather* You're beautiful regardless of what you wear :)

anarchistl0ve 02-09-2010 05:20 AM

its been a looong time since i believed it :(

risenfromperdition 02-09-2010 06:43 AM

*squish*
and thanks taz <3

risenfromperdition 02-09-2010 07:18 AM

so since im genuinely curious and dont want people saying they like it cuz they hafta... does this dress look ok? [thank god its gonna be in the 70s not 100s- thank you stupid hurricane]...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : space- pics




close up on the dress. sooo... yeah (y)

MammaMia 02-09-2010 07:41 AM

Love the dress Heather ^_^

*cuddles everyone*

shadowedsoul 02-09-2010 07:47 AM

Cuddles Heather, the dress looks lovely .
Hmm sorry guys.

MammaMia 02-09-2010 07:50 AM

Babe, you REALLY can't let the fear stop you, you could be dealing with something really serious that only medical attention can help fix :/ Please, do anything it takes to get seen. Whether going with a friend or whatever.

Doikers 02-09-2010 09:03 AM

*Hugs all the Wardies*

Heather , the Dress looks great :)

Becca , You look nice :) Purple suits you .

MammaMia 02-09-2010 09:11 AM

*hugs Mark*

Doikers 02-09-2010 09:20 AM

*Hugs Helen back* How are you this morning?

MammaMia 02-09-2010 09:21 AM

Still feeling sick =[ Supposed to be going to my college enrolment but I'm too poorly :(

Doikers 02-09-2010 09:35 AM

Aww nuts Helen , I hope you feel better soon :)

flutterby butterfly 02-09-2010 10:10 AM

Hi Lia!! I'm meh. How are you? :-)

Hi everyone else, how you guys doing?

~Kaytee~ 02-09-2010 11:27 AM

Can I...can someone just come sit with me in a corner?
Please? :crying:
I'm sorry guys.

Doikers 02-09-2010 11:43 AM

*Hugs Mara*

*Hugs Kaytee and sits with in the corner of your choice*

~Kaytee~ 02-09-2010 11:53 AM

Thank you Mark *hugs back* How are you going?

~Kaytee~ 02-09-2010 11:56 AM

*cuddles Helen* I hope your better soon =[

Hi Mara *hugs*

Scarletdreamer 02-09-2010 12:06 PM

Good morning everyone. :) *cuddles all*

Heather, I think that that dress looks very good on you. :) And thanks for tucking me in last night, I think I needed someone to do that. :) *hugs*

Becca, I agree with Mark, purple suits you. ^_^ *hugs* I'm sorry it's been a long time since you've believed that you were beautiful... I don't understand why so many people get so down on themselves. :( It's sad. Of course, I'm one to talk, ahahaha... >_<

Kaytee, hon, what's up?? *cuddles gently and sits with you and Mark*

Hey Mara, how are you today? *hugs*

Hels, I really hope that you feel better soon. :( *cuddles* Can you reschedule the college interview thing?

Lia, Mark, I spy you!! *glomps* How are you doing, loves?

Taz, love, how're things with you? *cuddles*

And to all the other wardies who haven't posted in a bit - how are you all today/tonight? *cuddles & safe care packages for all* <3

I got through last night okay. Ughhh. Fiiinally got to sleep after napping from 7pm-10pm, getting up and taking a shower/getting meds, coming on here and posting, and then going back to bed. Slept in til almost 7am too. But I was having this really really ****ing weird dream about getting my breakfast ready as well as a display of caterpillars. Woke up very very anxious. NOT a good combination in a dream, ahahaha... >_< Terrified though as today is supposed to be the first day on my new meal plan... :( So ****ing scared. It's a lot of calories and I am so scared that I am just going to gain weight off of it... :'( Sorry.

Jarrod has his meeting about his "gaffe" at work today... unless it's rescheduled like it was yesterday. I'm worried about it/him. I don't know why. It should go well... I guess I'm just scared he's going to be fired even though, well, he didn't do anything quite deserving of that. :( Miscommunications BITE. :'(

Sorry for all of the whinging... I just have no.one.IRL.to.talk.with about any of this. :'(

Doikers 02-09-2010 12:14 PM

*Hugs April*I'm sure Jarrod won't get fired , from what you say it doesn't sound so. AND . That sounds like a particularly odd dream yes:S

I have my FIRST EVER 2 hour volunteer thing at the cyber cafe in town at 2 pm . I'm pretty anxious . I've forgotten a lot of what they taught me yesterday at training :S

~Kaytee~ 02-09-2010 12:22 PM

Thank you April. I'm just so so overwhelmed with everything. I've just realised how bad the ED is :crying:

Your not whinging, keep talking to us, we're all here to listen :) *cuddles* I hope it goes okay for Jarrod

Good luck with it Mark, I'm sure everything will come back to you once you're there :) *hugs*

flutterby butterfly 02-09-2010 01:02 PM

*sits with Kaytee & offers a hug*


I'm not having a great day. I feel really unsafe & my mind is trying to think of a safe place but everywhere seems so scary. I need help, but every time I see my CPN/Psych I just get really laughy & jokey & come across ok. I'm not!! why can't i tell them? I'm scared of myself.

Jetforce 02-09-2010 01:36 PM

*leaves some nuts on the table for everyone to munch on*

Hope ur all keeping well there :-)

Scarletdreamer 02-09-2010 01:37 PM

*cuddles Mark* I'm sure that it will go okay - on first days people are usually quite forgiving of errors etc., and I agree with Kaytee, I'm sure that once you go there and start working some/most of the stuff from training will come back. We're here to cheer you on!! ^_^ *extra special hugs* <3

Kaytee, I'm sorry that things are so overwhelming right now. :( Care to talk about it at all? my PM box is open now, as it is always. :) And don't worry about bothering me whilst I'm struggling - helping someone else usually/always gets my mind off of me and my own ****. Heh. I'm sorry your ED is so bad. :( Is there any way that you can get help? because coming to the realization of how bad it actually is, can honestly be a stepping stone into health. Does that make sense at all??

*cuddles Mara* I understand the whole "laughy jokey" bit, I do that as well with my therapist. Thankfully she can see right through it, because my words don't match my affect (like last session, I said I was angry with my parents but was laughing when I said it, and she called me out on it - thankfully, I guess). I'm surprised that your CPN/pdoc can't see through it, and I'm sorry that they can't. Can you perhaps write one of them a letter saying all the thing that you wish that you COULD say when you see one of them? like, "I'm not okay, I'm struggling with XY&Z and I need your help"? something like that, I'm sorry if that's a dense/dumb suggestion. :-/

Urf. Jarrod's meeting rapidly approaches... I really hope/pray that it goes well... I also really hope that he won't be fired. :( SCARED. :crying:

Also, really am fighting with the whole "eat this and eat it now" thing that I feel like the paper on the table is saying. ("The paper on the table" = meal plan and food diary.) Ugh. I really don't want to follow someone else's idea of what I need to eat. I don't give a damn if my metabolism is slowing down. I also don't give a damn about what that nutritionist thinks I need to eat and how she thinks I need to exercise. But that's my ED talking, I'm pretty sure... but at the same time, how would I know?? I've always been a pretty stubborn person and I don't really want to get better, I'm enjoying losing weight. Of course, when I hit the "plateau" I won't be so happy... but... then I can start eating again, smaller increments than ****ing doubling my intake. :'( And she also "made fun" of one of my meals. I don't care if it's barely anything, it's what I like to eat and it tastes good to me... sorry, probably not making sense now. :'(

I really need to write in my journal, I think.... gonna go get dressed for the day then I'll do that. *cuddles all*


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