Oops I over slept , Gonna watch your video Felicia and head out to have my Lithium Bloods taken straight away , Sorry I'm in such a hurry *Hugs Ward mates*

EDIT:-OOh I liked your video Felicia , I LOVE your accent and you're very pretty :)

*huggles all*

Sorry in advance for the selfishness of this post.

Our neighbour found out something that had been done to her son today that has triggered off all the memories of my childhood SA. In some ways too it's left me wondering if my parents would/would have react/ed the same way if I/had told them about it. I never have, and I don't think I want to but I do think it might help them to understand some things. *sigh* Sorry, I know, a whiney little 28 year old . . .

*disappears*

Not whiny or anything Kahlia *cuddles you tight*

*cuddles everybody*

*Hugs Nicole* Enjoy camping! :)

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Hiding*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry that's triggered off bad memorys for you . You don't come over as whiney .

Huggles all. Hmm my mood still hasn't changed still feeling very low, which sucks as I nearly burst into tears this morning at work. My feeling are so up in the air right now.stuiped thoughts are still there, hmm felt like letting that car crash into our car yesterday. Which I kind of messed up. Hmm should be happy or excited about next sat but I just want it to get here and be over with.

*hugs everyone*
Thanks Laura and Mark for liking my video. Mark, I'm pleasantly surprised that my accent doesn't make everyone cringe. haha.

Kahlia, not whiny at all *hugs* I'm sorry it triggered bad memories.
Jill, *hugs* I'm sorry your feelings are so up in the air.

I'm... a wonderfully strange mix of triggered and excited. I'm all excited cause... I GET TO SEE MY BROTHER TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've missed him so badly... this also means I have to deal with my mother, and my grandparents that I live with are all snippy about me going. But oh well...
And, hell if I know why I'm triggered... it comes and goes anymore.

Also, so you guys don't worry, I'll be around until this evening, then I won't be on again until Sunday evening, cause I'll be staying with my other grandparents, who don't have wireless internet, and I don't want to expose them to RYL. So I'll only be checking FB and email... if I even do that. But you guys are welcome to add me to FB if you'd like. I posted the link in the contact thread, and it's in my profile.

I agree with Laura and Mark, Felicia. I liked your video. *hugs*
*GROUP HUGGLES EVERYONE!*

Huggles all. ****sake my gran just had a mini stroke this morning just being told. **** why the hell is life kicking her down when she already down. **** there a possibility she might not even remember who we are now, **** I'm loosing my gran. Curls up and crys.

I'm sorry to hear about your gran Jill :( *Hugs*

*Hugs April* I spot you :)

*hugs*

having a hellish week. police got called out cos of me and bf arguing. we're now "on a break". meh

Hey guys , I'm at my parents until Sunday so I'll be a bit more sporadic on here for a couple of days . sorry :S

Oh Beki *Hugs* I'm sorry to hear that :(

*hugs everyone* sorry no individual replies right now. Been reading and thinking of all of your though.

My sister passed her test that she had today, maybe that means she'll be in a better mood. Although i am leaving on sunday to go back to uni, thank goodness. My mood still hasn't crashed yet like i know april and taz said they were worried about... but i am becoming more and more depersonalized, so it's probably coming... hoping push it off until i'm back at uni. I can break down there and nobody will have any clue.

great. the day is almost over and i go to the court to pick up my office's documents and run into a guy i used to work with. he was a decent person but he reminds me of working there... i didn't even talk to him but my anxiety's in overdrive... just in time to be surrounded by strangers on the bus ride home... FML
*buries head in sand*

*huggles everyone and leaves care packs n chocolate on the ward table whilst everyone's out*

i keep playing the song that was on repeat when he sexually assaulted me. why am i punishing myself?

quiet day. hope everyone is alright.
<3

4 pages since I last posted, so sorry for the lack of individual replies this time.

Laura - your hair looks gorgeous :)

Felicia - loved the video, you've inspired me to make my own... now it's just getting the guts to post it :P

Hels - glad to hear your friend is okay

to everyone else, I love you all *big hugs to each and every person*

why cant i sleep O.o
ffs
I felt so **** when i got to work today...im glad we're all so close...being with everyone made me forget everything...even if it was only 6 hours of relief

*hugs everybody*

We have an Open House tomorrow. Out of curiousity me and my housemate looked up the online real eastate page to see what she was trying to flog it for. . . We can only say she is dreaming. There is absolutely no way she's going to get that price for this unit. We started cleaning about 08:30/09:00 this morning and stopped basically only for short breaks until midday. We are going to have a drink now and then get back into it. *sigh*

*cuddles everyone tight*
<3

*hugs Heather back*
Ive cleaned my mice and their cage...nearly tidied my room...and then its a shower and a train back home for the day before work....heres to hoping my mood doesnt crash *fingers crossed*

hi =] ^.^

heeeeyyyyyyy long time no speak!! how are you?

m ok i guess. hows you?
i gonna get off and try to sleep,
but back tomorrow [hopefully =\] cept plan on sleeping later than 10 so doubt it but will try to get on.

nuhnight

night love, take care x

Morning everyone :) *Hugs* Sorry for the lack of individuals , I'm thinking of you all and have read up on all the posts since last night I think .

*huggles everybody*

So cold ....
So tired of cleaning ...
6 hours of cleaning today for the Open House tomorrow ...
*screams*

6 hours! Wow.

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry I've not really been posting much in here.

^^ Same here. Just haven't had much to say or any energy to do individuals...

Things here are... I don't know. I'm just so lost. :-/

It's been a busy last half-week... I just want to sleep. Plus, I got up today at 5am... honestly, that's too early for ANYONE, I don't care who you are. :P

*hides in the warren and shreds old newspaper* :(

5am is too early indeed >_<

*cuddles* Sorry you feel so lost sweetheart x

Lindsay: Yeah, believe it or not there were two of us working as solidly as you can for six hours to get the unit ready for the open house . . . We were as thorough as you would normally be for an end-of-lease/tenancy clean.

Erk, I need another drink (non-alcoholic)...

*hugs everyone*

I hate weekends. There is nothing to do and too much time to think.

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Kahlia*

*hugs Lex* Sometimes the smallest periods of relief can be incredible. Hope you slept alright <3

*hugs Kahlia* 6 hours? That's sheer insanity. Props to you for doing that much work...

*hugs Heather* Hope you slept well!

*hugs Mark* I hope you enjoy your weekend :)

*tackles Lindsay* I feel like I haven't seen you on here in forever :) How are things?

*hugs Hels* How are you today?

*hugs April* I agree with everyone else... 5 am is ridiculous. Although sometimes I wish I could wake up that early just because it's so peaceful... while everybody is still asleep, and I can pretend like I'm the only person in the world :D

*leaves care packs for anyone else*

Hi Kristyn, things are a bit better with me. I'm able to take my medication sometimes and the men in my head have quietened down. I'm still getting strong urges to overdose though.

How are you?

Cuddles all. Curls up in corner and hides.

*hugs Lindsay* Good to hear the men have quieted down, although sucks about the urges to overdose :( Keep fighting it <3

*hugs Jill* What's wrong hun?

I'm alright... in a baseball tournament this weekend which is keeping my mind off my upcoming psych evaluation on Tuesday.

Hmm feeling very low, got really stuiped thoughts running through my head. Thinking about someone I hadn't thought about in years, which is bring back sad feelings back screw it i would be better off dead. **** it all

*Hugs Jill* You would NOT be better off dead . I'd miss you .

*Hugs Taz* Enjoy your baseball tournament , and GOOD LUCK with your psych appointment :)

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm glad the men have quietened down , please try to resist the OD urges .

Been a quiet day on the ward. :)

So so exhausted. Just got up from an hour & a half or so long nap, to realize that I was about an hour overdue on my meds, which isn't good... blah.

Ugh. I really don't want to go to the worship thing at my church tonight... :( It's going to be really late and I am already so freaking tired... :( but I do want to make Jarrod happy. However, conversely, he should want to make ME happy... lol... so I don't know if we'll go or not.

*sigh*

Sorry, once again, for no individuals... brain is so muzzy right now.

Cuddles all. thanks mark. Hmm feeling sad, just being told that my gran could take another stroke. and it could be fatal, **** I don't think I can/could handle it if she died. **** this is so unfair she reached this age, then this happens. Curls up and hides.

*huggles everybody*

Sorry for the lack of individuals.

Last bit of cleaning done, just got to wait for the real estate agent in half an hour. *sigh* Over this already . . .

Hmm it's 4am and I can't sleep, got way so many thoughts going around my head, and my mind will not shut up. Allready cried my eyes out tonight. curls up and hides.

*hugs Jill* Sorry to hear about your grandma... hopefully she won't have another stroke <3

*hugs Mark* Thanks :) I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely nervous/anxious about it... but I'm sure on Tuesday morning it'll be much worse!

*hugs April* I wouldn't have gone if I had gotten up at 5am... but that's just me... sometimes I don't care about other people at all.

*hugs Kahlia* How'd the visit with the real estate agent go?

Jill: *big hugs* I wish I could be there in person to a) give you a hug and b) give you someone by your side to offer support and someone to talk to.

Taz: *glomps you* Well the open house was probably not a success. There was only one prospective buyer and even he said that the price was too high. He actually lives in another unit in our block so has a pretty good idea what the last unit in the block was sold for - and also that the unit that is still on the market was placed there for less than what our landlord is asking and the owner/whatever there has had to drop the price dramatically. Anyway we had a good chat to that prospective buyer at the end because we know him quite well and told him to feel free to put an offer in, but neither he nor us were sure what she was aiming for. *sigh*

Wow, it has been awfully quiet in here... is everyone okay??

*cuddles all then toddles off into the garden to admire the rising sun* :P

*Hugs Kahlia* Hmm i'm sorry your open day only had one prospective buyer but maybe you'll get more soon ?

*Hugs Jill* I hope your Gran get well soon .

*Hugs April* Did you get to your worship thing ?

*Hugs Taz* Sorry you are nervous Taz:S

I thought I better drop in and let everyone know that I'm alright. Sorry I haven't been around. I've been so busy with studying to try and catch up and I have had a couple of massive weekends as well. It seems that this is going to continue for another week or two as well. :( Hope everyone is doing okay. *hugs*