*hugs April, Helen and Becca*

*hides*

*hugs Oliver lots* What's wrong sweet?

Shes the sort of person who can look at a naked man get preggo, then thers me i had to fight medically not to lose this one, and still had him 1.5mo early. its just not fair for people like me. i have had a **** life and had to fight, shes lived the silver platter life.

depression hitting me again

I agree that mothers don't need to be married in order to be good parents. At the same time I don't think asking if someone even knows what it is like to have a miscarriage is very helpful. People have different views and if someone posted then (most of the time) it is clear they are having issues coming to terms with something. Maybe it would be better to support them rather than attack? Besides...via the internet how can any of us tell whether someone has really gone through something they claim to have or not?

If she wants to do that, then it's her choice. You shouldn't let her affect you so much. I know how hard it must, I really do. I'm sorry you had to fight medically not to lose your child and still had him early. Aswell as the miscarriage. I've not had the best of lives either (as many here who have had miscarriages) and yes we've had all had to fight and there's people like her who haven't. Please try not to let her affect you so. I'm not attacking you with this post and I apologise if my other posts have felt attacking towards you, that wasn't my intention.

Oliver, I'm sorry depression's hitting you again. *cuddles*

Thanks. I will chalk the others up to simple misunderstanding. Here is really my only safe place to say my real feelings

I'm glad you feel it's a safe place to share your real feelings. Feel free to continue to do so. Just sometimes people may be upset and seem like they're attacking you with their replies, but they're usually not :)

Anyway I really should head to bed, got a migraine coming on and can't see the screen very well.

Bleh migraines suck. Rest well

april- yeh i got money, but he said he wouldnt lemme use laptop [is his] 'less did it.

*huggles everyone who wants*

I wish I could do more, but i'm still struggling way too much right now. The kids want to stay with their father, so a whole custordy battle is about to break out... so im trying to handle knowing my neice and nephew are there, at risk of being visited by that monster..:S and there's naff all anyone can do about it. I'm so depressed it's stupid. Im falling apart but I have to stay together for haz. :( I havn't cried this much in a long time. Amy is going through some kind of breakdown. She's just curled up in the corner crying, she wont talk to me, or come out and talk to anyone. She really can't handle everything about HIM coming up right now. Rosie is all upset that things are unhappy, and im having trouble controlling Sarah's temper.

*hugs Kat if that's OK* crying is good sometimes hun.

I am no good, really want to cut, have a little but its just triggered me more. So will sit in here for a while and hope it just passes. This time.

Would cuddle April if she was here cos she looks to be in a similar place.

rahh.

JK, I'm here if u want to talk. *hugs*

*cuddles kat, heather, april, helen, crimson, oliver, and becca*

*huggles JK back* *sniffles* I just feel so..blerk..I dont even have a word for it. I cant stop the si/suicidal thoughts/urges. I've gone two weeks now no si, and I want to keep it up. I just dont know how much longer i can go on with this. I'm sorry you are triggered too, is there anything I can do to help?

Kat, 2 weeks is awesome. Try to keep distracted from those thoughts/fight them, I know its really hard.. Here for u too *hugs*

2 weeks = awesome. Don't blow it now Kat, sorry I won't rave on, would rather see some success on here! I don't want to trigger anyone so will just sit here quietly and stay watching the goings on here.

Thanks both for the hugs *hugs back*

JK - well if u need to talk, you wouldnt be able to trigger me right now... you dont have to obviously, just want to make sure you know that the option is there.

*walks around finding all the hiding people and hugging them*

*sits and yawns* :notsure:

Thanks Laura *hugs tight*

Hey Julie, nice to see you here too

*yawns and curls up small in a box*

So where exactly does one go when they have bad thoughts in their mind and nobody to go to? I need to know.

i go get my coloured pencils and my pictures and coluor in

hey ace
*offers hugs*

*nods* i'm fine

wat do u mean ace?

can u try reading to clam ur brain
computers keep ur brain awake

Not without waking up her husband or the baby. If I wake the baby i wouldn't forgive myself hell if they miss his playgroup I wont either. I guess my only option is to take part of a xanax and hope I fall asleep.

i'm not very good at sleep advice lol

i hope u do get some sleep hun

Hi I'mjustme *Waves*
.
*Hugs Heather*
.
*Hugs Kahlia*.
.
*Hugs April* It can realy help to verbal vomit , just get everything out somtimes.
.
*Hugs Helen*
.
*Hugs Oliver*I'm sorry you depression is hitting again :(
.
*Hugs Anarcistl0ve*
.
*Hugs Crimson* I'm sorry you're so angry , your situation sounds infuriating , Thanks for the nighttime hugs :)
.
*Hugs Kat* I'm sorry you are struggling so much :( and I agree with laura 2 weeks is a real acheivment ! way to go you !!
.
*Hugs JK* I'm sorry you cut , please try and look after the wound and try not to cut again if you can help it .
.
*Hugs*Good morning Julie , how are you?
.
*Hugs Ileana*Could you try you mental health team ?, or if you don't have one your GP could maybe refer you to them.
.
*Hugs Ace if ok* If taking the Xanax help you should do it to get some sleep , I sometimes have to take meds for sleep .
.......Did you get any sleep?

This assignment is so not working right now. It's already two days past my extension. What excuse to try this time? "My life fell apart"? Too much information in that one. They don't need to know.

*cuddles all & curls up*

Argh!!!! I can't do this anymore, I just want to hurt
myself badly.really don't know what I'm doing anymore,
don't see the point in this anymore, need to get the hell
away from here, just wish I knew a way to make that
happen.

*Hugs Helen and Shadowedsoul*

*hugs Mark*

I spy an April <3

*huggles everyone* glad that it was tidied up, no argument... i was worried that we'd have another one and then people would be scared to post how they feel... which would be bad for somewhere where it's supposed to be safe. :-/

jess, i'd be honest with "them" if you can... if your life's truly fallen apart, then just let them know the bare minimum of details that you need to. i've found that most people are pretty understanding (at least in the uni setting) about stuff like that. i don't know though, if you're talking about uni or something else... hopefully what i said makes sense though. i've been honest with how i've been doing for four out of the six years i've been in uni, and it's been okay. sorry if my advice is crap though. :-S

jk, sorry you felt that way last night... hope you're getting some sleep now. *cuddles* and thanks for the tlc... it means a lot. :)

sorry for the lack of individual replies. you all deserve so much more than i can give. :(

i feel like crap... thus the lowercase letters. that's usually what it means. that i feel like crap and vulnerable etc... :( i don't know why i feel like crap, i just do... it's awful. i did my "don't want to" thing yesterday (cleaning the toilet) and was "supposed" to feel great after it but i didn't, i just kept feeling like ****.

i have to meet with my site and faculty advisors today... i'm terrified... it's at 10am, a little under 3 hours from now. :-S i don't know what to do, what to say... i'm really really scared. i don't want to be told that i have to stay longer at my internship because that's only going to put off res. i'm so worried and i know that it doesn't help anything but i can't help it really... :'(

*hides in a hole* :'(

Just made the mistake of putting ' Simple Plan-welcome to my life' on. i was readin through the last couple of pages and saw someone post the title and got curious. bad idea lol.

feel so alone and empty. cant even hurt properly inside thanks to these stupid meds. dont get it.

so what is this virtual Psych ward anyway? it intreeged me as it comes up in the list with my blog everytime i search for it (its called 'blah blah blah, i hate myself, who cares?' if anyones interested.)

*Hugs April* I JUST missed you on Facebook sorry :( literally by seconds

*Hugs Fallen kite* HI I'm Mark.

God my dad just visited and makes a bee line for my P.C. , I know hes trying to help me get more RAM but he had NO respect for my privacy . got me all pissed off , had to take a Diaz :(

Thanks April. *hugs* I'm at Tafe finishing my VCE. I know I should tell them. I'm just a little nervous about doing it. Everyone has been telling me how well I've been doing all year and it feels like I'd be dissapointing them if they were to find out otherwise.

Good luck for today.

*curls up*

Heya Fallen Kite... the Psych Ward is basically a thread where we keep track of each other and how everyone's doing... a safe place to air out feelings (although if it's going to be a long post then a ranting/venting thread in that forum would be better, I think - a lot of us have them), and also just to hang out and make friends. :) I hope that makes sense... :-S Brain's not working too well at the mo.

Mark, so sorry that we just missed each other. :( *cuddles* But I did send you an email. :) How are you doing? I'm sorry that your dad doesn't respect your privacy more... :(

*cuddles Nicole* What's up, sweetie?

You're welcome, Jess. :) Anytime. *hugs* Hopefully you can talk with them (whoever "them" is) and see about getting another extension, or something, I don't know. I'm not sure of how things go in Australia... it all seems so very foreign to me. ;) Hehe...

I'm getting really nervous now... an hour and I'll be heading up to campus. I so wish that WoW were up instead of down for maintenance because then I could distract myself... as it is, I am so tired and stressed... and I really really want to SI... :'(

*spies Nicole* :)

*hides in the warren* :'(

*cuddles april*
i cant do this anymore :( my mum only talks to me when she wants to have a go at me for something, and my sisters constantly being nasty to me, i need to get away but the only place my mum will let me stay is at my aunties, and i dont feel comfortable around my uncle, my therapist is going on holiday so im not gonna see her till the 21st, and i just wanna end it all! :( *cries*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs April* I'm thinking of you :) try not to worry too much .

"them" would be my teachers. I probably should have mentioned that. I think I'm gonna be in a huge amount of trouble for handing this in late. I said I would hand it in on monday and it'll be Wednesday in an hour. :/ Oops.

Hmm iam at work and all I can think of his how much
i want to hurt myself, how flipping pointless all this
walking around in a daze feeling very numb. Damn it I
want to cut. *curls up and cries*