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Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 03:42 PM

YEY for feeling a little better!! *does a happy dance*

I just finished some uni work that is due later today, whoopsies... heh. But at least I got it done. And I'm enjoying my white hot chocolate... mmmm. Yum. :)

Still am angry at therapist. Wish I could do something about it that would make the anger GO AWAY!!!! :(

MammaMia 28-01-2010 03:46 PM

Yay for getting work done, that's always a good feeling. Once I had to hand in an assignment by 4pm and started it at 3am and finished it at 1.30pm (I went to bed etc) hehehehe. Needless to say, I actually failed it. :P

Oh white hot chocolate sounds yum, might try it sometime, not really a fan of white chocolate.

Maybe divert the energy of being angry into working or helping others or something???

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 03:49 PM

Lol re: the assignment... that's kind of funny but sad that you failed. :( I hope I get an okay grade on my lab turn-in yesterday as I finished it the morning it was due!! :-/ I didn't know what I was doing - bad April, bad!! :(

White hot choc is yummilicious but I don't know if you'd like it if you don't like white chocolate... :) But I love it & it's cheaper than chai at the place I go so of course I get it!! :P

I just want to go to bed!! :(

MammaMia 28-01-2010 03:52 PM

I'm sure you'll get a great mark :)
Fair enough to you.
I want to go back to bed too, so know how you feel.
Even if it is nearly 4pm here :P

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 04:27 PM

It's nearly 4pm there?! That's crazy... lol. It's only 11:30am here. :P

I hope I'll get at least a 75% on it... a C+, not ideal but certainly better than nothing!! Hopefully better than that though...

I'm so freaking tired. :( And I have a whole day yet to get through!!! :ermm:

I think once I'm done updating my LJ I'll update my r/v spot... *sigh*

brndedhero 28-01-2010 04:48 PM

@April I'm sure you'll do really well you seem like a really intelligent and dedicated person which is all you really need.

@MammaMia I'm pretty much falling asleep too I hate how it's getting dark already.

Just sent out a job application those things always bring me down especially the previous experience section it's really hard landing that first proper job especially during a huge recession.

SoMuchMore 28-01-2010 05:24 PM

*cuddles april* its such a pain to have to walk so far with so much stuff.. i always walk everywhere and sometimes i get so annoyed. I'm sure that you will do at least okay on ur assignment. Sorry that you are so tired.

*cuddles helen* Try not to focus on anything you feel like you failed. Its not worth the negative energy really (...and i feel like a hypocrite saying that b/c i always am down on myself for "failing" but yeah...) Its good that you have something to look forward to tho in Feb! :-)

*hugs jocelyn* Sorry that you had a bad reaction to your meds and that you are feeling shitty today still. Try to do something relaxing or fun or just nice.. Stay strong.

*hugs brndedhero* whats ur name if u dont mind me asking? Job hunting can really suck. I spent all last summer trying to get one and never got one. So annoying.

Its so frickin cold out... 2 degrees is no fun. I wish i could just stay inside the rest of the day and sleep. I never sleep well on days when i have early morning classes.

brndedhero 28-01-2010 05:46 PM

@Laura (at least I hope it's Laura) my name is Alan. I have no idea how cold it is out here but I don't really want to find out even though I have a huge craving to eat something really unhealthy.

Imaginary_friend 28-01-2010 05:59 PM

*sighs*
hey again guys
alan - i've just eaten loads and now i feel massively fat. good times huh? lol
Mamma Mia - i know the feeling...i want to sleep too and it's still only 6pm! haha
Joc - i hope you're feeling better today *hugs*
April - thanks, i think i will keep posting even if it's massively annoying for everyone else..haha. oh wells.
Laura - thank you :)

my day's been ok. i'm looking forward to going out and getting wasted last night...but this guy is still talking to me, still wanting me to go back to his...and i just haven't got the strength to fight it anymore. i want to go back to his. i just....i dunno. i don't care.

MammaMia 28-01-2010 06:04 PM

Keep going into my past.
Need to make my head go elsewhere.
*CUDDLES EVERYONE*

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 06:46 PM

Took a nap, loads more calm. Still shaking, still knowing we're about to spiral down and have an episode. When triggered it can't stop and boy was the trigger pulled.

But loads of love for all. Loads of hugs as well.

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 10:07 PM

Wow, a lot of postses... yey. :)

Alan, good luck with your job apps. *hug?* What type of jobs are you applying for?

Helen *big cuddles* I'm sorry that you're struggling right now... want to talk about it at all? or PM me (or someone else) if you don't want to post about it here?

LauraStar *cuddles* 2'F is effing cold, I agree!! It's supposed to be -20'F here (windchill) by tonight... my hair's wet right now & we're going shopping in a bit so I am going to have to do something to keep it from freezing, as it dries sooo slowly & we don't have a blowdryer. Haha. It's really odd when my hair does freeze - and it has before, walking back from the gym after a hot shower - rather funny looking, stiff strands of hair that poke out. But probably not good for it at all. Aaanyway... how was your day? ♥

LauraFriend *huggles* I'm glad that your day's been okay... what's the point in getting wasted? Sorry, have never drunk (or gotten drunk) even though I'm old enough to... heh. It seems a self-destructive (in the long-term at least) way of coping with issues rather than facing them. Just a thought. I know you're strong enough to cope... you've just got to find that strength. ♥

Annie *hugs* I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad... is there anything I/we can do to help? and I second what someone said earlier, does your partner know about the SI? Please try & take good care of yourself as best as you can.

I'm really tired & stressed & overwhelmed by school. I have so much stuff to do by next week & I am scared that I won't get it all done. :(

But I has a kitty in my lap who wants snuggles... anyone want kitty snuggles? :D

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 10:17 PM

*hugs for April*

Partner knows about bipolar and cancer and self-harm. He thinks we've stopped, he doesn't know about 'dissociation' while on an episode. We're going to spend weekend with him ... will be hard to hide.

We cheer you on and offer to help ... what's the coursework about? Maybe we could help you with some?

Oohh, kitten snuggles!!

brndedhero 28-01-2010 11:04 PM

*Hugs for Annie* I hope things work out for you this weekend with your partner, hopefully the more he knows and understands about you the more he can help you so it could work out for the best.

*Hugs for April* I'm applying for pretty much any IT/Computing jobs I can find, but there doesn't seem to be many jobs out there. If you're getting too tired and stressed you really should take a break from all this work if you know you can't get it all done it's probably a better idea to just do the stuff you can do in time well.

*Hugs MammaMia* I'm sorry I can't think of anything useful or reassuring to say, all I can do is offer a second hug *hugs*

*Hugs Laura* Nice to hear your day's been OK but if you don't want to or shouldn't see this guy then maybe you shouldn't, tell him you have to leave to play some epic games of rock paper scissors

So I managed to fall asleep after dinner and wake up a few hours later recently but seems as it's 11pm that means I will be awake until the early hours yet again. curses

Kahlia1981 28-01-2010 11:24 PM

*hugs everyone*

You ever get the feeling that one day is pretty much like another? That life is just crap and you really start to understand the lyrics to the M*A*S*H theme song (Suicide is Painless)?

Oh by the way... no community help was offered. I saw my GP yesterday and he suggested rebounding to the hospital but my housemate and I made it clear that they wouldn't accept me back. I was released from PICU in a suicidal state with no help. The health system here is a way of slowly killing people.

I'm just going to go sit in a dark corner until I disappear.

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 12:07 AM

*hugs Annie* I'm glad that your partner knows about those things... maybe tell him this weekend? If he loves you he won't harm you, physically/mentally, and if he does, well then, he's not worth your time. Sorry to be blunt but that's really how I feel. If he truly cares for you then he will accept you as you are. I hope that that doesn't offend. *offers another hug?*

Alan *hugs* I hope that you manage to find a job soon... seems like there ought to be all sorts of IT/computing jobs available but I guess with the recession(s) etc. things have gotten a lot worse than before. I just hope that I'll be able to find a job when I graduate (I'll be done in August, graduate in December if all goes well). I'm kind of scared about that... :ermm: I'm going to get everything done that I have to get done... no excuses for someone as a senior in uni. :( I hate that, or feeling like that, but oh well.

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm so sorry, sweetie, that they just let you off so easily. What did they do in hospital to try to help, or did they not do anything at all? med changes or anything? You have a psych, don't you? So you could talk with him/her about med changes, because maybe you need a med tweak right now? Sorry for all of the questions, just trying to brainstorm!! *more cuddles*

Listening to Pillar right now... just bought a new album at Walmart & uploaded it to my hubby's comp so it can go on my iPod. It's angry music... lol. Rocky & loud. My mum would HATE it. :P But I did hear about this awesome group called Anonymous 4 that is a group of four women who sing religious chants etc. from the 6th to the 14th century, I think. Heard them in Women & Spirituality last night & it was like all my anxiety (which was through the ****ing roof at the time) just disappeared... so yeh, really need to get that album!!!

*hugs everyone, then gets some LifeWater & a good book*

SoMuchMore 29-01-2010 12:39 AM

*cuddles for everyone* Sorry i can't do individual replies right now.. my brain is pretty much done for the day after 2 anxiety attacks and other drama..

I feel like I am being manipulated... but i can't put my finger on what the point would be.

MammaMia 29-01-2010 01:28 AM

*cuddles everyone lots*

Sorry, I can't do indvidual replies.

Keep having flashbacks tonight :'( They've stopped again for now at least. Plus panic attacks. Ugh. Had a really good laugh with my best friend J and we involved my other best friend G a little bit :P

Imaginary_friend 29-01-2010 02:22 AM

i get drunk because it's the only way i can cope. i guess it's just another form of self harm. but it is getting ridiculous. he doesn't even wanna see me. ****. why does it make me feel so bad? :( i just wanna hurt myself even more now. :'(
*hits her head against the wall and cries*

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 08:11 AM

*cuddles everyone*

April: In hospital they put me into PICU to reduce the stimulation but other than that they did nothing. They told me one thing and then did nothing about it - I was supposed to get an ultrasound of my shoulder that never happened - I was put on brufen for the excruciating pain in my shoulder and that only once every 12 hours. No med changes. I don't have a pdoc or tdoc so I'm a bit out of my depth. They just wanted to get rid of me because I was taking up a bed that someone more worthy than me should have.

AMCarmody 29-01-2010 08:23 AM

*hugs everyone*

No sleep again. Sensory overload. Cold. Sleep but not quite. Headache. Arms and legs and tummy sting. Hungry. In 12 hours Partner finds out. We're scared of how he might react.

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 11:03 AM

just wanted to give you all cuddles, and to please ask for some in return because I really need them.

:'(

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 11:33 AM

*BIG cuddles for Kahlia* I personally can't think of anyone more "worthy" of a bed than you, love... you need the help. Is there any way that you can get a tdoc/pdoc so you can get some meds etc.? I'm so sorry that they hardly did anything for you... that's awfully rubbish heathcare, really is, and I see absolutely no point in what they did(n't) do. Well, giving you the Brufen was a good thing but they obviously didn't do it enough... *more cuddles* Wish I could help more... I'm here to talk though, anytime - I check RYL throughout the day at uni & today I don't have to be there (uni) until 1:30pm so yeh. ♥

*cuddles LauraStar* Why & where do you feel like you're being manipulated? Hopefully not here on RYL... how're you doing today? did you get any sleep last night? I'm sorry to hear about the panic attacks... they suck. Do you know what brought them on? are you on any anti-anxiety meds? ♥

*hugs Annie* I hope that your partner will be kind & understanding about the injuries. He ought to be... I also hope that you managed to get some sleep last night & are feeling a bit better this morning.

*huggles LauraFriend* I'm so sorry for what's going on in your life, love... :( Getting drunk IS another way to self-harm, it can do awful things to your liver as you know, and you don't want to get cirrhosis. Please be careful... *holds you gently*

Kitty snuggles are once more available. :)

I'm feeling okayish right now. Just got up a bit ago... started the Depakote last night & am hoping against hope that I won't have any bad side effects. Guess if I haven't had the GI ones like nausea etc. yet, I won't... I hope not anyway!! I'm taking Depakote ER if that makes a difference... and the pills are GINORMOUS!!!! :'( I hate huge pills. :(

I want to listen to music... hmm, what shall I put on... I think Steven Curtis Chapman... pretty calm music. I really need to look into getting the album "Miracles of Santiago" by Anonymous 4. It's religious chants/songs from the 6th-14th century, very lyrical & anxiety-relieving. :) I heard it in Women & Spirituality and it was VERY calming... good because I was having an anxiety attack the entire 3 hours. Heh. :( Not good.

*sigh*

[Awakening] 29-01-2010 11:39 AM

:-( horrible headache

I'm not feeling great, i could really do with some kitty snuggles...

MammaMia 29-01-2010 12:42 PM

*gives everyone cuddles*

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 01:48 PM

*sends Daniel over to snuggle with Jocelyn* What's going on, love? *cuddles*

*cuddles Helen* How you doing today, sweetie? flashbacks still, or have they calmed down some?

I've been on WoW for awhile... got some dailies (quests that you can do every day) done so that's good. Feel icky now though because I ate breakfast like my mum told me to and now I really want to purge... so ****ing full!! I HATE FOOD. :(

Want to cut kind of too, but mostly I just want to sleep. So exhausted. Got up at 6am today when I ought to've slept in until 7am... so rarely do that & it would've been so nice!!

I don't think I have a ton of schoolwork to do (at least, that I can do at the mo)... just reading the next chapter in soc and reading 2 chapters in health psych and one or two in advanced counseling. *shrug* Lots of reading - oh, and reading more of Joan Chittister's book, gotta finish it by Wednesday. Gahh. Guess I have more than I thought I did!! :ermm:

:(

MammaMia 29-01-2010 03:00 PM

They've calmed down, hopefully won't come back for a while. We'll see.

Imaginary_friend 29-01-2010 03:17 PM

*hugs everyone*
*slides down to sit on the floor*

Jetforce 29-01-2010 03:22 PM

*goes makes some cakes for everbody to share*

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 03:34 PM

*cuddles Helen* I hope that they won't come back... ♥ How's your day going so far?

*cuddles LauraFriend* What's up, sweetie?

*huggles Jet* How're you doing today? Oooh cakes, what kind? :P

MammaMia 29-01-2010 04:18 PM

It's been a mixture of good and bad. Sat here crying over something really lame.

Imaginary_friend 29-01-2010 04:20 PM

*hugs*

Kahlia, Annie, Joc, Helen - i hope you're all feeling a bit better *hugs if wanted* take care :)

Jet - cake?!?! om nom nom :) i looove cake :)

April - i dunno. everything is p*****g me off at the moment. people are like "blah blah blah" without realising what they're saying is just making me feel worse. and it's just stupid things but it's all making me feel rubbish :(

my friends want me to go out again tonight...i'm really not in the mood for it. i'm shattered, i haven't done enough work, i'm still hungover and my arm kills after cutting last night...but i'll get massively bored if i stay in which will just make things worse, but if i go out i'll get horrifically drunk and i don't want to feel like i did last night again. argh.
i should just sleep. stay in and sleep. a lot. and not get distracted and go out somewhere....argh.

[Awakening] 29-01-2010 04:25 PM

Hugs graciously received thanks Laura friend and April

mmmmmmmmm did someone mention cake???? yum yum yum...

ive got a nasty headache, painkillers didnt help. I'm alright just a little exhausted i think. Ive got ethan tonight aswell :-/ eek!

sorry the pcs hurting my eyes when i read for too long so i cant catch up properly *cuddles to everyone who wants them*

*sinks into the new large corner sofa (its a pretty damn cool sofa) under a fleece blanket*

SoMuchMore 29-01-2010 05:03 PM

*cuddles kahlia* Im sorry you are feeling so poorly and that they didnt even help with your shoulder at the hospital. Stay strong.

*hugs april* that sucks that you have so much school work to do.. i have a ton too. Keep fighting those urges.. I know its hard...

And no i am not on anti anxiety meds. I don't actually see any doctors or anything about any of my issues... I've been there and done that.. it didn't help and i cant go now b/c i cant afford it and ive convinced my family that i'm alright, so i cant ask them for money help on this. and i dont think im being manipulated here... its with that friend that i had a fight with over the weekend... she wasnt talking to me and then she sent me a message that i dont want to just dismiss b/c she could be in a very dangerous mood... but she has so many people to talk to, idk she would ask me about this thing.

*hugs laurafriend and jet*

*hugs helen* its okay to cry over lame things sometimes... hope you are alright

*hugs jocelyn* sorry that you have a headache. Hope that it goes away soon.

I feel like i should just go back to sleep... even tho i didnt get up until like 10am. Idk why i'm always soo tired. Anyway, hoping that today is better then yesterday.. I'm not sure i have high hopes for it though...

Strawberry.Bananas 29-01-2010 07:05 PM

*sobs* I need hugs.
I've just had a message from my ex...I'm not going to tell you what it said cause it's personal but basically, there's no hope of us getting back together and I was so, so sure that I could get him back :(.
And what's more? I realised I have nobody in trw to talk to anymore. One mate has moved away and we don't talk much, 2 don't like me talking about him, 1 is an ass, 1 is in hospital and 1 has just had a miscarriage. I'm alone. Completely.

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 07:07 PM

*cuddles Helen* As LauraStar said, it's fine to cry over lame things sometimes. If you want to talk about it we're here... or you could always PM one of us. :) I don't think anyone would mind chatting with you further. How're you feeling now, since it's a few hours later?

*huggles Jocelyn* I'm sorry you have a headache; those suck. Did you try taking a nap? because sometimes that helps... also sometimes, for my mum, an icepack on the head helps too. It depends on where the headache is centred though. How are you doing now?

*snuggles LauraFriend* If you don't want to go out tonight, then don't... especially if you know you won't be wise about how much you drink. Please try & take care of yourself, love... take some time out tonight for you - to be spent in healthy ways... like painting your nails, taking a bubble bath or a bath with salts, reading a fun book, journaling, writing poetry (even if you suck!! - lol - it's still a good release of emotion), etc. Coddle yourself a bit. :) There's nothing wrong with that.

*hugs LauraStar* Ah I see, about the having been-there-done-that thing. I wish that you could get some help... I mean, help that actually helped, you know? I have an anxiety & phobias workbook that I need to start - when I do I'll let you know how it goes. :) Maybe something like that, that you do on your own time & at your own pace, would help you more than therapy & meds? I don't know, just an idea. Hmm, be careful with this friend... I hope that it goes okay & that she's not in a dangerous mood OR manipulating you.

I'm doing "meh." I have lunch sitting in front of me but don't want it, oddly enough... don't know why not. It's really odd. I was hungry earlier but now I'm not. I wonder if it's the Depakote? making it harder for me to eat... I don't know. And I am soo tired... a friend suggested iron levels and so I might start taking my supplements again. I totally forgot about them, TBH.

*sigh*

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 09:23 PM

*hugs everyone*

Thank you for your kind words.

I had a really severe nightmare (flashback) last night and ended up waking up my housemate. I slept okay after taking some Xanax but I needed my iPod to help me out.

I still feel exactly the same. :(

*curls up in a dark corner*

Imaginary_friend 29-01-2010 09:33 PM

*hugs Kahlia* I don't really know what to say but... *hands blanket and soft toy* :)

thanks april. i'm not going out and i'm not drinking by myself either :) haven't got a bath cos i'm at college and there's only showers which sucks :( really fancy a bath. o wells. might go to bed soon otherwise i'll get bored and bad things will happen.....
*grabs a blanket and snuggles down*

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 11:10 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Kahlia, what type of music do you like? (other than the all-powerful Within Temptation!!! :D) Just wondering. :) I'm sorry that you had a nightmare/flashback-y sort of thing, that's awful... and I wish that I could help you feel better. :( *big hugs*

LauraFriend, I hope that you get some good sleep tonight!! and don't do anything "stupid" if you don't manage to get to sleep. How're you feeling now? *hugs*

I'm kind of "meh." Struggling a LOT with anxiety and fidgetiness (inside of me, not outside - ADHD'ness I guess you could say?)... can't read for long periods of time, can't do schoolwork, only thing I can do is something that changes frequently (like posting on here, or playing WoW, or writing in my LJ as I can babble all I want to in there about whatever's on my mind). GAHHH!!!!

Need to look up side effects of Depakote & see if that one is anywhere in there. :-X

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 11:27 PM

*hugs everyone*

LauraFriend - thanks for the blanket and the soft toy ... they will come in very useful. It may be summer here but we have had monsoonal rain from being just outside the edges of a cyclone

April - I like WT (of course), Kamelot, Evanescence, Nightwish (though I prefer their stuff from when Tarja was their lead singer), H.I.M (His Infernal Majesty) and Superchick .... probably not an obvious combination

Does anyone know what the chemical name of Geodon is?

SoMuchMore 30-01-2010 12:43 AM

*hugs april* i hate being fidgety, it can feel so annoying.

*hugs laurafriend* I hope you sleep well and can avoid bad thoughts.

*hugs kahlia* im sorry that you had nightmares.. I hate them. oh, and i think Geodon is also known as "ziprasidone hydrochloride" as a capsule anyway.. idk if it has other names for like injections or whatever. Sorry if that is not what u were looking for.

Just got back from dinner... wanting to curl up and die kinda. Trying to avoid bad thoughts.
I am also trying to be careful around my friend. Something is fishy there, i just know it... I really don't think im just being paranoid, something doesn't feel right.

Scarletdreamer 30-01-2010 12:59 AM

*cuddles Kahlia* Yeh, LauraStar's right, it's "ziprasidone hydrochloride." I didn't know it came in any different forms other than a capsule - stupid me perhaps for not thinking of that - but oh well. I love Superchick!! - and I've been told that I ought to listen to Kamelot. Nightwish is also a favorite, although I haven't heard much of their stuff since Tarja wasn't the lead singer. :) How're you feeling tonight? *more cuddles & a handmade fleece blanket to curl up in* (I used to make those :D)

*cuddles LauraStar* I hope that things will be okay with your friend & you... if you doubt that things are alright, really truly within you, then you're probably right... I dunno though, as I don't know your friend. Just be careful. What seems so wrong about the situation? (sorry if that's too nosy) How's your evening going?

Just got off WoW, played for quite awhile... it's already 8pm & I haven't had a shower or anything, whoops. I know for most people that's not very late but it is for me!! ever since I got married, anyway. I get sleepy around 7pm and am usually in bed by eight. Heh. I think I'mma go take a shower/bath (have to decide which, probably a bath as the water will be unpredictable at this time of night, what with everyone else in the complex taking showers too!!)... then maybe come back on, or not, I'm not sure.

*cuddles everyone*

SoMuchMore 30-01-2010 01:49 AM

april - lol i couldn't imagine going to bed by 8.. i usually stay up until like 3 or 4 in the morning b/c i am a complete insomniac lol.. hope you have a good night though.

Well it would be kinda a long explaination for the thing with my friend.. but readers digest version: she wasn't speaking to me, then she was sorta online.. it was like a supremely fake we are gonna be chatty and say "lol" a lot so that neither of us can be taken seriously, and then the next day she sent me a message asking me if ive ever been suicidal and how i made it go away... the odd thing is is that she doesn't know about any of my issues, unless someone else has told her... so idk why she would ask me that... i answered her with a generic thing like 'give it time, time usually makes things feel better'... but idk. I feel weird that she even sent that message to me... she didnt respond back ever... and she has sooo many other ppl to talk to and we werent on the best of terms so... i feel like she might be trying to hit a nerve with me or something if someone told her about my stuff... Hm.. idk it doesnt sound as bad when i type it out.. u would have to see her body language around me.. its kinda cold.. so.. idk

Kahlia1981 30-01-2010 03:52 AM

Time to run away and cry now ....

*hides in a dark corner until she disappears*

Scarletdreamer 30-01-2010 10:58 AM

Vicki, love, I'm so sorry I didn't respond to your earlier post. *big big cuddles* I wish I could take all the pain away, erase it & make you feel better, but I can't... all I can do is be here to talk, pray, & comfort. I has a kitty in my lap again, if kitty snuggles would help (hehe)... but honestly, I don't have much advice or anything, since I've never been through a true break-up. I can imagine the pain, though, especially if you thought you could get him back, & it must be tremendous. *holds you gently* How're you doing this morning?

*cuddles LauraStar* Lol, insomniac indeed!! What time do you get up, though? because I get up around 5-6am and am not TOO exhausted throughout the day (well, not as much as if I went to bed at 3-4 and got up 5-6!! hehe). I hope that you got some good sleep last night. :)

That situation with your friend... wow. I wouldn't know how to react either, but I think that you did the "right thing," if there were a right thing to do in that situation with the given variables!! :-X *hugs*

*cuddles Kahlia* What's going on, love? same intrusive, awful thoughts, etc.? or something new's come up? *more cuddles*

How is everyone else? Jocelyn, LauraFriend, Franz, whomever else I'm forgetting? ♥

I'm doing okay. Just got up so am kind of a walking zombie. Apparently the walls in our apartment don't have insulation - or much - so it is ****ing FREEZING here... and my comp is by a wall... so yeah. Cold. I really ought to have some socks on, lol - right now I'm in sweats & a tshirt & I'm thinking of adding a hoodie & socks. BRRRR. It must be awfully cold outside.

May go out for breakfast this morning, but I'm not sure. It would be nice, but I don't know. I just dreamt about going to Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast, right before we woke up... lol. Weird dream that was - my Women & Spirituality class prof was in it looking for something (forget what now). Definitely weird. :P

*cuddles everyone*

Kahlia1981 30-01-2010 11:54 AM

*hugs everyone*

April: Same stuff ... it just never seems to end. I want there to be a pause button on life so that I can have a break and then restart when I'm ready

Sorry to everyone for no individual replies ... I don't feel able to be supportive at the moment. I'm a bad person :(

Imaginary_friend 30-01-2010 11:58 AM

*hugs Laura* stuff with your friend sounds hard.....hope you can get it sorted somehow. I know it's really hard to sort out other stuff when you don't feel so great yourself *hugs* take care.

*hugs Vicki* we're always here if/when you wanna talk *hands hot chocolate and a soft toy* :)

*hugs Kahlia* what's up? :(

*hugs April* hope you have a good breakfast out if you go :) donuts sound good right now..

I'm going to see Avatar 3D later with some friends. I'm hoping it'll be good and it'll be good for me i'm sure to go out and socialise without drinking for a change! haha. ended up staying in last night but didn't get to sleep till like 1am which is always annoying. *shrugs* guess that's just the way it goes.

Imaginary_friend 30-01-2010 11:59 AM

*hugs Kahlia* you are NOT a bad person. it's fine. we understand :) i want a pause button too so i know how you feel there...*hugs*

Scarletdreamer 30-01-2010 12:24 PM

*squishes Kahlia gently* I understand... you don't need to be supportive at the mo, you're struggling a great deal & even so, offer a lot to the community here just by being here. I hope that makes sense... :-/ because I have a feeling that it doesn't. Heh. But anyway, you're welcome here even if you are unable to support right now. I want a pause button too!! as long as I could pause it at a GOOD spot, lol. :-/

*cuddles LauraFriend* Avatar is AWESOME!!! :D I hope that you enjoy it... and yeh, it's good that you're doing something social that DOESN'T involve drinking. I didn't see Avatar in 3D form, just normal, but I loved it anyway. Even bought the Avatar shirt (from Walmart, not Hot Topic, as there was a $17 difference!!). It's an amazing movie. :)

We're not going out for breakfast, which makes things a little more annoying, heh. I'll probably just have oatmeal... blah. Oh well. Donuts do sound good though, but I wouldn't've had one this morning anyway. :P

I really don't want to do schoolwork. I feel so ADHD, it's awful!!!! :'(

MammaMia 30-01-2010 12:40 PM

*curls up*
It's amazing how things can turn into one huge bloody mess hey? Got to try fix it later today, that'll be so much fun. I expect more tears & rows (Y)

Sorry, too many replies to attempt indvidual ones. But everyone is feeling a little bit better xx

*cuddles*


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