RYL Forums

RYL Forums (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/index.php)
-   Veterans Board (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=34)
-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

ravynsoul 10-01-2009 10:45 PM

Dayna - LOL, that's awesome... just reading that post made me smile.

*sends hugs to everyone*

Damnation. 10-01-2009 11:24 PM

XDD! Gooood *glompage*

Snuffles 10-01-2009 11:44 PM

Heh, yeah put a smile on my face too =)

They came round last night.. and Trent asked her how long they had known.. she said a week before you were told :\ I'm like :O So she was told before we even got back! Grrrr. Then Trent was like Look, why were you told? It has nothing to do with you. And she was like coz Mik wanted to get it off her chest.. (Fair enough I guess) But... why did it take a week for us to be told? Apparently coz Miks mum had to tell us, not Mik. But an email would have been nice. Miks mum also stayed here for a few days, we got told just before she was leaving. Again it was said she was waiting to all three of us were home, but for gods sake was it so hard to organise a meeting? a time? ARGHHH

It's really annoyed me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Eclectica 11-01-2009 12:45 AM

getting even more screwed up by the day. found a slight problem with us.

say we have to pick up a box from the floor, sometimes we cant but instead stare at it as much as we need/want to pick it up. not sure about it really.

MammaMia 11-01-2009 02:45 AM

I see I have been forgotten about in here, that hasn't happened in a long time *rolls eyes* So when I die, nobody will notice? :( Makes me sad seeing I'm one of the longest term residents here >.<

Have completly lost it. Seriously. I'm thing about suicidal plans. Have new ideas for once. I might just go ahead & break all my promises & do it. I just can't go on anymore. I don't care that people say I dont want to die. I really do this time. It's final. I'm on the verge of booking tickets to get to it aswell. My abusive ex/rapist keeps controlling my head even though we haven't spoken or a months. The stuipd ****ing **** is still destroying me. I can't live anymore. I give up trying. I'm not asking for help because I just can't anymore. Nobody believes anything is wrong with me in anyway medically..well depression wise :|

GRRRRRRRRRRR

I'm sorry.

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 02:57 AM

*cuddles Helen and Katrica tightly*

Helen - you haven't been forgotten.. *hugs* i don't have much more to offer right now, in a dark cloud... but please don't think that you've been forgotten.

Katrica - *hugs* sorry don't have more... hope things get sorted out.

Katie - *hugs* i would be annoyed too.. that's not nice at all...

*leaves hugs for everyone*

MammaMia 11-01-2009 03:11 AM

*hugs tightly*

I'm stuipd for feeling forgotten I guess :S

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 03:14 AM

*hugs back* don't think you're stupid... feelings are real and i'm glad you shared them... i just wanted you to know that i care...

EDIT: i'm sorry if i made you feel that way!!

Damnation. 11-01-2009 03:37 AM

*Sneaks back in and hugs everyone*

Sorry I've been so **** at support lately

Snuffles 11-01-2009 03:42 AM

*snuggles Helen* Don't feel stupid.. it's normal to feel that way. I care too, you know that. Ily x

How are you today Ravyn?

Dayna- *huggles* Hope your ok. No need apologise! We can't support 24/7. We have to take time for ourselves too.

Take care everyone, please *leaves more hugs*

Damnation. 11-01-2009 04:32 AM

Katie: I've been a lot better ;-; *hugs back* hope you're okay

Damnation. 11-01-2009 05:19 AM

Well, I think my housemate's gonna make an appointment to see the doctor for me tomorrow

Damnation. 11-01-2009 06:08 AM

What's left...?

Damnation. 11-01-2009 06:11 AM

I'm gonna lose my home.

I'm currently losing the one person I need in my life to keep me together. Lmao, he can't even be bothered to try and talk now, he admitted that himself.

I give up.

It's over.

I want to die.

I've had enough of hurting. I don't see a ****ing way forwards. And I still lack that vital courage needed to finally off myself. It's laughable, really, how Goddamn ****ing pathetic I am, how much of a coward I am.

SOMEONE JUST KILL ME, BECAUSE CHRIST KNOWS I CAN'T ****ING DO THE JOB MYSELF.

I CAN'T LIVE ANY MORE, I JUST ****ING CAN'T. I HATE THIS. I HATE MYSELF. I just want everything to end >_<

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 12:55 PM

*hugs Dayna* don't have many words; but have been feeling similarly myself the last few days... i know how it hurts.

*hugs Katie* i'm not sure how i'm doing tbh... i feel lost.. thanks for asking. how are you doing?

*leaves hugs and cuddles for everyone* how is everyone doing? hope things are okish.

MammaMia 11-01-2009 01:35 PM

*cuddles everyone lots*

Eclectica 11-01-2009 05:09 PM

*Hugs Dayna*

Please please please stay safe. You're not pathetic or a coward. Not being able to go through with it is strength. Actually going through with it is being a coward. Things will improve. Just gotta get past the current ****. It'll be hard but in the end things will pick up. We care for you so much here.

I'm winning and losing battles...

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 06:01 PM

*cuddles Helen back*

*hugs Katrica* what battles?

--
feeling quite unsafe, if anyone has extra cuddles or hugs to spare, i'd really appreciate it.

*joins Nicole and BJ under the bed with the denial tent over it.. with my stuffed bunny*

Pomegranate 11-01-2009 06:22 PM

*pulls up a bean bag and sits with ravyn* I have lots of hugs to spare. Hope you feel better soon xx

Dayna- I am sorry things are so crappy atm. I really truely understand what that feels like. Thinking of you, for what its worth x

Katrica- I hope you are managing to win more battles than you are losing. Here if you want to talk about what is going on.

*cuddles Katie* I hope things get sorted for you. Please don't give up. Things can get better.

*pokes Helen* I have already spoken to you on MSN. But hope you are doing better today. *squishes*

How is everyone else doing? Mary Anne, Nicole, Amanda? *leaves hugs for you guys*

*rocks quietly* nothing even, specifically wrong that I can figure. Everything just hurts. Last night was very bad. I had a huge row with my best friend and ended up driving back home at 3am. Not going to bother trying anymore.

Eclectica 11-01-2009 06:30 PM

Forgot what I wrote now.

My battle with SH I'm winning, well, the cutting part at least.
The mental illness **** in my head I'm losing.
Battle to eat less I'm winning.

The main battle is my head. I'm losing.

Mary Anne 11-01-2009 06:40 PM

Hi all *big cuddles all round*

Forgot to check in yesterday, was trying to stop a window leaking (we are having freak weather here).

Feeling low, weekends are long on my own (did visit mum on Saturday, she is now the proud owner of all the crap that is associated with my wedding to the he-devil).

Helen - you must deffo are not forgotten, *big hug* please stay safe

*hugs Ravyn* hope that cloud lifts soon

*hugs Dayna* not got words but hope you are okay

*sends hugs tyo Ravyn, Katrica, Katie and anyone else around*

x

MammaMia 11-01-2009 07:03 PM

I'm slowly becoming convinced certain people (not mentioning names and please don't think this is aimed at any of you in particular) think I'm attention seeking & never going to follow out with my plans. But seriously one day soon I'm going to snap and do it in such a way that I seriously will get death out of it or...or if its unfornately fails (as per ****ing usual) then..severly injured.

I also know that some people seem to think my moods drop to the point of suicidal because of something like assignmnet comes and stresses me out and gets me to the point I get suicidal. Well I know for mysef, that's not true. I've been suicidal at times where there was one due...but also times *lots* where it really wasn't. But whatever. Maybe it's a good thing in some werid way if it was just because of that. I don't know?

I don't remember most of last night, I can't bear to even dicuss it anyway, but seriously, I did speak to someone, she thinks I need to see a shrink (I hate english people subtistuting english words with american ones :S) meh. I cba with help anymore. It doesn't get me anywhere. But whatever whatever whatever. We all just think (except me maybe) that I'll be fine again in a few weeks. *rolls eyes* Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Who gives a ****ing **** anymore?

Sorry for last night.

Emma & Dayna , I am worried about you both :(

Eclectica 11-01-2009 07:17 PM

*Hugs* I'm sorry to hear things are that way. Being thought of as attention seeking is horrible and no one should have to be tought as such in situations like so.

But it is nice to think things will get better.

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 07:40 PM

Emma - thanks for the hugs and sitting with me. *hugs back* sorry to hear about your fight with your friend. did you want to talk about it?

Katrica - *hugs* keep fighting, the tides will turn; hopefully sooner rather than later.

Mary Anne - *hugs back* thanks, I hope so too. Hope that the weekend passes quickly for you.

Helen - *hugs* please try and be safe. i'm worried about you. *sends cuddles*

*sends hugs to everyone else*

--
it hurts to be alive right now and i don't know why or how to change this

Kahlia1981 11-01-2009 07:46 PM

Helen : I'm afraid I have no words at the present time. Just wanted to offer you some hugs. I know, unfortunately, what it can be like in regards to both being regarded as attention seeking and people seeking out whatever reasons they can accept for your illness and/or moods being the way they are. Sometimes they are explainable by these things, but quite regularly they are not. I wish I could take your pain away, but I'm afraid that this is something I am just not able to do. *hugs you tight*

*hugs everyone*

* * * * *
I feel like I'm going to break down soon. My father is pissed off at me for something that is most definitely not my fault. I keep harming myself in my sleep while I'm having that lucid dream and in my waking hours I look at those cuts and start thinking it's not enough. I've taken to hiding out in my room and listening to the voices. I just want it all to stop.

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 08:03 PM

*hugs Kahlia*

Kahlia1981 11-01-2009 08:06 PM

Thanks Ravyn, I needed that. *hugs you back*

Damnation. 11-01-2009 08:08 PM

*Sneaks in and hugs all*

I'm trying. I really am. I don't want to worry anyone, and I'm sorry for those I have scared. I just...I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of things always ****ing going wrong, and then being kicked further while I'm still Goddamn down.

I'm sorry, I have nothing useful to say. Just for a change

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 08:11 PM

*hugs Kahlia* thanks for the hug back.

*hugs Dayna back*

--
sorry i have no words for anyone right now, just hugs..

Damnation. 11-01-2009 08:17 PM

Pretty much same here, Ravyn x_o

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 08:21 PM

*hugs* i think no one will mind if we're silent for a while

Eclectica 11-01-2009 08:25 PM

Oh **** sake. I'm triggered for once. Not been triggered in ages. I'm triggered to go very deep. I can see all the detail and images in my head so clear. I want to go deep, but not too deep to end up in hospital again... Though, would that be so bad?

MammaMia 11-01-2009 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katrica (Post 1350429)
*Hugs* I'm sorry to hear things are that way. Being thought of as attention seeking is horrible and no one should have to be tought as such in situations like so.

But it is nice to think things will get better.

*hugs Katrica* I'm sorry too, it's harsh, I'm not exactly ill, just get suicidal thoughts && self harm on/off on top of that. Ugh but I agree....

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravynsoul (Post 1350500)
Helen - *hugs* please try and be safe. i'm worried about you. *sends cuddles*

*hugs* I'm intending to stay safe, get through next weekend, but from there, right now I don't know. I might stay safe, or try & chicken....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 1350516)
Helen : I'm afraid I have no words at the present time. Just wanted to offer you some hugs. I know, unfortunately, what it can be like in regards to both being regarded as attention seeking and people seeking out whatever reasons they can accept for your illness and/or moods being the way they are. Sometimes they are explainable by these things, but quite regularly they are not. I wish I could take your pain away, but I'm afraid that this is something I am just not able to do. *hugs you tight*

*hugs everyone*

Its' okay, I have no words to support anyone else, just hugs. I accept the hugs. It sucks being regarded as attention seeking & people trying to find out whatever reasons they can for me being like this. *hugs you tight* I hope you're feeling better soon, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time :( xxx

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 08:26 PM

*hugs Katrica* *hugs Helen*

Snuffles 11-01-2009 08:34 PM

*hugs for everyone*

My head still heads =( I woke up this morning, thought it was better, but nope.. it's back. It sucks.

On a good note, my brother is here now. Finally!!!

Damnation. 11-01-2009 08:37 PM

x_o *Hugs Katie*

Snuffles 11-01-2009 08:38 PM

I've read all the replies, not writing any specific ones at the moment, but I read them and I'm sending hugs to you all!!

Snuffles 11-01-2009 08:38 PM

*hugs Dayna*

ravynsoul 11-01-2009 08:41 PM

*hugs katie back* sorry about your head; but hooray for your brother being here!!

MammaMia 11-01-2009 09:23 PM

*hugs everyone and cries*

No please don't make me go :'(

Damnation. 11-01-2009 09:24 PM

*Hugs Helen tightly*

It'll be alright. It has to be. It just has to be

Kahlia1981 11-01-2009 09:31 PM

*cuddles Helen tightly*

Eclectica 11-01-2009 09:33 PM

I drink too much. I drink too much. I drink too much. I drink too much. I DRINK TOO MUCH. I KNOW.

Damnation. 11-01-2009 09:34 PM

>_< *Cuddles Kat* wish I could say more ._.

Eclectica 11-01-2009 09:38 PM

It's my problem. No one elses. I will stop when I want to. Telling me I drink too much makes me do it more. Necking back can after can. Telling me won't stop me. I'm sick of it. Always being told I'm drinking too much. That I'm lying. That I'm screwed up. That i'm a slob. That I need to go out more. That I need to get better. That my head needs sorting.

MammaMia 11-01-2009 11:21 PM

My last post was talking about someone trying to make me go to see my gp >.<

*sighs*

Whatever.
I'm so over this.
Whatever.
Just whatever.
Dead now please?

ravynsoul 12-01-2009 12:12 AM

*cuddles Helen and Katrica*

Eclectica 12-01-2009 12:37 AM

I'm sorry for ranting. But I actually don't know what to do. I raelly don't. I'm scared, stuck, tormented... My head is being thrown around by alters. It's hard. I don't know what to do.

Eclectica 12-01-2009 12:44 AM

I'M SO STUPID.

I couldnt stop myself.

stupid stpid stupid

ravynsoul 12-01-2009 12:46 AM

*hugs Katrica* couldn't stop yourself from what?
and you don't have to apologize for posting here.. i hope it's been helping


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:35 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.