*hugs back*
And you? How are you at the moment?

Crap , Annie ,I Feel awful.

No good. I'm slightly better. Have an appointment. Keeping up meds. Couple of ok shifts at work. Just anxiety about tomorrow keeping me awake. I find out if I get a graduate position then. It's kinda a big thing. I can start planning my life again once I know. And I might feel more motivated to do uni crap once I know. Or it could shatter my confidence and willingness to finish uni up.
Took a sleeper and it hadn't kicked in. I won't sleep without pharmaceutical help with this hanging over my head.

Annie , I hope you managed to dose off . And good luck :)

I really needed to talk to someone but I don't have anyone , It took me 5 years to tell my Care Coordinator and He made me feel worse , said it was a GP issue , GP insists it's a Psych issue . It is so difficult to talk about I don't have anyone else and no-one cares.
Plus BPD , Chronic Depression and Anxiety going Wild.
Plus personal situation.
Plus desperate to leave the town I live in.
Sorry.

No need for apologies.
I got the position on the proviso that I pass uni. First preference even.
I should be happier than I am.
It's something that keeps me in my home town. Which I'm not sure is a good thing.
Why can't I be happy

I totally know the feeling , Annie *Hugs* How are you today?

How is everyone?

I'm awake again. Terrible with my meds, only just took them. They were due at eight. It's 3 am.
Have my appointment with the counsellor tomorrow.
I feel awful. I should be happy. But I'm not.

I'm sorry you are struggling , Annie . I know how you feel hun .

Hey all. Sorry I haven't been around. Life.... Meh.

Sorry to hear things haven't been going well Annie. *safe hugs*

*hugs big brother*

Really wish that I could get some ECT, or just stop feeling like suicide is an answer. It's worse at the moment because my step-daughter is up and I cannot switch to get relief from the physical and emotional pain. Meh.

*leaves cups of hot chocolate, tea and coffee (as we're all in different time-zones) for everyone*
*safe hugs to those who need them*
*disappears into her pillow fort*

*Hugs my Lil Sis*

Sorry I'm not here too often. Life is crazy.I'm ready for things to slow down. My hubby and I are both so stressed out and worried about things. Our son hid the other night from us and we spent a good 10 minutes looking for him. We checked doors (which were locked) then went and made sure we had all our house keys. It honestly wouldn't surprise us if he ran away at some point. We're trying our hardest but it's really wearing us down. His school is starting to be affected now too. *sigh*

How is everyone else? *safe hugs to all who would like one*

Hey Guys , How are you all ?

I'm feeling lousy, first time I've ever posted in Veterans section, and what better place than this, *curls up in the corner of the room, wrapped in a blanket and sucking my thumb* as this is what I feel I'd do right now if I was really in psych ward.

*hugs* to anyone else that needs it.

Ceri , Hey ,Welcome to this little corner of the website . I'm in here most days so will get back to you , or PM me or FB me . It is quiet here recently *Puts out a Bean Bag Chair*

Thanks Mark, I had a good day, am guessing the virtual bean bag chair helped, I cried a lot in my meeting today, but am now part of my local service user recovery forum, as a volunteer, and am doing my Safeguard training later this month, so finally moving forward, something positive to look forward to :) I don't know why having a virtual psych ward brought me comfort, but it did, so I slept better, and had a great meeting with positive changes, think I'll be in this corner of the forum next time I feel really low :D *hugs for all, and the chocolate and doughnuts from my meeting*

Glad you slept better , Ceri , What is safeguard training? *Hugs*

Sounds interesting. Welcome to the ward.
I'm just hiding here again

Hey Annie , How are you doing?

Hey Mark, thanks, Safeguard training is all about protecting vulnerable adults, it is a step towards me becoming a counsellor. Safeguarding means protecting an adult’s right to live in safety, free from abuse and neglect. It is about people and organisations working together to prevent and stop both the risks and experience of abuse or neglect, while at the same time making sure that the adult’s wellbeing is promoted including, where appropriate, having regard to their views, wishes, feelings and beliefs in deciding on any action. So really common sense, and about doing the right thing on both a personal and professional level for the client, no matter how hard it may seem, it should give me more insight on myself personally, and how to keep myself safe, as well as others :)

Innnnnsommmmmniiiiaaaaa!!!
Not well. Maybe up. Definitely irritable. I hate awake. but sleep is not coming. I have to get up in 4 hours.

I hope you are asleep , Annie :/

Think I'll come lurk here, get away from that responsibility thing, this morning's phone call has got to me...

*Hugs Ceri*

Hey Peeps , How are you all doing?

I want out. I don't want to be here by christmas

Terrible would be an understatement, I want so badly to find a way out, I've contemplated several ways, time is dragging, and I'm just too tired to go on, right now the main thought going through my head, is peace, quiet and somewhere safe to sit away from people, I feel violent, from the intrusive voices keeping me awake.

*Group Hugs if okay?*

What. A. Day! But Yey 1 good person and 1 Fantastic person! <3

hey guys....
been a while since i've written, i do come occassionally...always feels like home. auragrace and stumpy...you both say you want out.....
can i come too?

Hey :) How are you doing VM?

Come join us in the virtual psych ward :) Bean bag chair? it's safe in here, as much as we want out, this is a great space to be in, anybody want to throw around a soft ball? I'm trying to escape my thoughts, if only my bed would make it's self, and my stupid forms could write themselves, if I was in a real psych ward they'd take away that responsibility, I'm happier here where I don't have to think for a few days, this is my power and they can't have it... it's mine I tell you, give me that medicine cup, I want to sedate me, as sleep is not coming, it's 3am, and I keep wanting extra safety, think a cocoon would be good, wrap up in a safe bed :)

Ceri , I really hope you are sleeping or at least slept , Hun .

Hi everyone
Can't wait to leave. Things will be simpler.
I'll leave my mind here for now, safer that way. Auto correct tried to make that suffer, how amusing and strangely appropriate. Must attempt sleep now.

*Glomps Annie*

*waves*
How's things?
I'm bored tired and lonely.

Hey well I guess for me, I've not been great, isolating myself, and came close to self harming on Tuesday, so nearly threw away all my hard work, had my blade snatched by a passing stranger, I felt numb at the time, and angry immediately after, but of course I am grateful now, as that's 1/a few less scars, I guess I've been hiding a little as I haven't felt much like talking, but things are getting better, my mood is starting to improve, I'm just not sure how long for :)

Hate being Bored, Tired and Lonely, I hope being here helps a little, *waves back at you and at everybody else who's here too*

Feeling apprehensive about my counsellor doing a home visit tomorrow, since I almost self harmed on Tuesday, he's decided to visit me at home, I don't know what to expect, as he's never visited me at home before, but he's clearly concerned enough about me, that he wants to make sure I'm ok, I just hope he isn't planning on medical intervention, as I have no time for hospital, so right now while I'm apprehensive, I think I'll just curl up here on a bean bag cushion :)

*curiously walks in and looks around for some safe place to hide*

Uhm.. hello. I need somewhere safe to go for awhile where I won't be alone with my own thoughts. I last self harmed a few days ago and it was pretty bad. Really looking for help so I can eventually get past this.

Hi Jelli , Welcome to the VPW , I'm Mark . Wanna bean bag to sit on ? It is quiet here but we are nice :)

hey jel, we don't bite...come chat at us. hope you are doing okay right now...mind you its almost noon here in canada

Thank you for the warm welcome. :) And for the bean bag, I appreciate it. Sometimes niceness is comforting haha.

*sits on bean bag in corner* It looks like you've been here awhile, Mark? :)

And visible, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm struggling but am still doing okay. :) Just trying to keep breathing and distracting.

Well I guess things went well today with my counsellor, no medical intervention thank god, my counsellor just wanted to go through a letter he'd written for me, he has said if I need him to get in touch, which is really nice, he also wanted to make sure I was safe and hadn't self harmed after Tuesday's incident, and that I have first aid supplies, he didn't take away my blade, as he doesn't want to risk me using dirty blades or glass in place of my clean blade, but asked that I try my best to pick up the phone and call him before I do. I'm still apprehensive about how I'm gonna manage through the weekend, and through my Safeguarding Training on Monday, as well as my volunteering meeting on Tuesday, and my meeting with my mental health support worker on Wednesday to fill in the paperwork for my anger management referral, so I think I'll stick around here for now where it's safe, curled up on my bean bag :)

It's been too long. Sorry I've not been around much. Life is rough right now and I'm struggling quite a bit.

Hi all
Just hiding here for abit

You would think kids would be a great distraction but waking up every day before dawn is a total mood killer. Coffee use to help some but I'm finding more and more it does nothing. I need a MH day. Not me by myself but just me and hubby. He doesn't get how I'm always so stressed out and seriously on the brink of insanity. I've half joked about running away. Just drive until I'm tired of driving. Find a nice hotel and spend the night. Drive back the next day. Not a run away for always but that's crossed my mind too. Just give hubby a taste of what it's like with 3 kids and a million Dr's appointments and house repairs. *Sigh* back to reality. Hubby's off to work.

Yeah children don't distract. They add more stress. I'm considering running away too.

Hey Annie, Mark and Kat. I'd say it's nice to see you, but I'm also sad to see you as it means things aren't going so well.

VisibleMemories, Jelli and Stumpy: I believe this is the first time I am meeting you (apologies if that is incorrect my brain isn't working very well right now), so hello. Come along inside and make yourself comfortable.

Hot chocolate or milkshakes anyone? Personally I think I would prefer a lemonade, but the heat and humidity are getting to me.

*creates drinks for everyone that wants one*

Drowning in a lake of my university work, stress, not punching someone in the face (maybe more than one person if I'm honest), and my mood. *sigh*

*disappears into pillow fort*

*puts brownies and cookies on the table*

*Makes a hot chocolate*

Its like 60 degrees here right now, but I love hot chocolate lol.

I haven't been in here in awhile, so hi to the new people in here -- Jelli, Stumpy, and VisibleMemories *waves*

Hi to everybody else *waves to them as well*

Having a really tough time right now with SH/SI stuff and writing in my journal isn't helping that much... I have a psych appt coming up soon but I really don't feel like going and getting into trouble with him again.

Hi Matt. Sorry to hear that the journal writing isn't helping right now.

Having a crisis right now that most of you would laugh at. Oh well... that's life.

*sneaks her dogs in and takes them into her pillow fort for cuddles*

*knocks on the pillow fort* can I come in?
I've staved off physically harming myself for a week through a really rough patch. Don't know how much longer I can hold out so I'm hiding in here.

Wonders into the psych room