*Hugs Mark* Not really, just come over all urgey :( I really wanna SI.

*Holds you hands* Whats triggered you hun ?

*Hugs* I don't know, the hyperactive happy mood just dissapeared and left a very low urgey mood :(

*snuggles Charlie* you can beat it hun x

*Hugs Sarah*
I don't think I want to............ :(

*Squishe Charlie*

*cuddles* I'm here if you need me hun

*Hugs you both*
Thanks guys..

No worries. I'll be gone from about 8pm till 8.30pm but its only half an hour and I'll be back on, and you can message me on Facebook if you need me and I'll get back to you asap.

Thankyou hun :)
I really should get some dinner...

Hey everyone :-) how is everyone?

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Mark*

*slinks into ward to hide from hubby*

such a bad night! :(

*Hugs Charlie*
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Sarah*

My Ear hurts , internal pressure and loud hissing! and I can't get a hold of my ENT nurse , no answer.....

That sounds horrible, Mark. I have tinnitus so I kind of know what it's like.

*Hugs Lindsay* I have tinitus too , But this hissing is really Loud! I have scarred eardrums dut to infections :(
How are you Lindsay?

I'm really not good. Thinking of attempting suicide as soon as I find the energy. There is nothing that I, or anyone else, can do to help me any more.

*huggles all*

sitting here awaiting the next cyclone advice. :-( a big cyclone is threatening the coast. currently predicted to have landfall near my city wednesday/thursday and to be a category 4 or 5 system (very big and nasty). not looking forward to it. if i'm not online for a few days it'll be because we lost power etc..

will try to get back on before it hits if it is going to.

*huggles everyone then goes outside and brings puppy sinclair inside so he doesn't get wet or blown away*

*Hugs Lindsay* Please hold on hun , you would be SO missed here :S

*Hugs Kahlia* I hope you keep your power , How are you?

I'm back...
...always coming back. But never staying for very long because I just lack the self discipline now.

Things aren't good. I've been suicidal, but wouldn't ever act on the thoughts because I'm too much of a coward.

I'm on a gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free diet to deal with a possible systemic infection. FML. I'm so sick of thinking about food - what to make, how to make it, and how the hell to satisfy cravings for sweet when gluten-free desserts have sugar and sugar-free desserts have gluten...

*flails*

Anyway. I need support, and I can give support, so I think I'll be back for a little while at least. I see that there are new wardies that I don't know... so... hoorah for me being MIA for months. >_>

*hides in a corner and cries*

*HUGE HUGS April* Hey Little Sister :) How are you? , *Finds you in your corner and gives a tissue* That sounds a harsh diet!

Oh God I can't do this. The only way I can see through is to be in a constant state of overdose.

*Squishes Lindsay* I'm sorry you are struggling so much hun , could you talk to your crisis team?

They either tell me to go online or read a book or say that there is nothing that they can do.

Well thats sod all help! I'm sorry they are being so unhelpful. *Hugs Lindsay*

How are you doing, Mark?

I've got that feeling where my arms are all high pitched ( Don't know the word to describe it ) I need calming , I have been flat most of the day and my hips hurts a little and my right ear is really uncomfortable . Sorry , Mini rant .

*Hugs everyone* I'm not really up to individuals right now, you would not beleive the day i've had, but please all of you try and stay safe. I love you all very much and life wouldn't be the same without you <3

*Hugs Charlie* Whats happened hun?

*Hugs Mark*
Well about 10pm yesterday I heard this banging and screaming outside, So me and my mum looked out and my neighbour was having a moment and throwing eggs at our car, so we called the police, they came out, she screamed at them and told them to **** off. They said they couldn't do anything else, but the policeman cleaned the car, this was like midnight by the time they left, so then my mum was really shaken and angry, and a bit scared too, so I stayed up with her till like 3am. Then this afternoon when we got home there were eggs, jam, and what we think was mushed up carrots all over our doors and windows, my mum called the police again, this was at 3.08pm my mum called the police and they came straight away, they have only just left. But they arrested her, they had the police helicopter out and everything!

They Arrested your neighbout Charlie? , Thats not good what she did , How's your Mum feeling now? Are you Shaken up too? I would be.*Hugs*

*Hugs Disturbia* Please try and be safe hun

Yeah, eventually they arrested her, My mums ok I think, at least she feels safer cause we know shes been arrested, I think my mum is still nervous and angry though.
I'm alright, I suppose the fact that I'm not botherd what happens to me anymore helps..

*Hugs Charlie* I'm bothered what happens to you

*Hugs Mark* Thanks hun, that means a lot.
To be honest I am starting to feel a bit shaky now, at the time though I was just concentrating on calming my mum down and finding my brother and sister because she sometimes waits outside their school -.-

*Grabs a pillow and blanket and goes to curl up in the corner for a nap*

*Huggles Charlie and tucks her in*

*Yawns and Hugs Mark back*
I had 20 mins sleep last night.....

Well I hope you get a lot more sleep tonight Charlie :)

Thanks :) I do too!
I'm hungry aswell, I don't know what to eat.

I didn't sleep much last night either, Charlie. Have you decided what to eat yet?

I've just phoned Breathing Space who asked me to think things over and call them back in an hour. I have thought and thought and thought about things. I'm tired of thinking, I just want to kill myself.

*Hugs Lindsay* Please try and stay safe hun, It will get better eventually, you won't always feel like this.
And no I haven't, I know what I want, but I can't have it -.-

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Lindsay* Please wait and call them back . Who are breathing Spaces?

*Hugs Distrurbia* Please don't hun . Take care .

*Hugs Mark* I am starting to worry about something now.......I don't know whether or not i'm being stupid though..I mean theres not much chance....
I'm rambling. Sorry

Whats up Charlie hun ?

*Spots and Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Mark*
Well, I'm scared I might be pregnant :(

Well could you take a test Charlie hun? or get the pill , or is it too late for that?

*hugs Mark back*
*hugs Charlie* Could you get a test?

*Hugs Lindsey* I'm sorry I don't have much helpful to say, but do you have a counsellor or someone IRL who you can talk to? If not, would you think about getting one? It sounds like you could really use the support.

*Hugs Charlie* Why do you think you might be pregnant sweetie?

*HUgs Disturbia* Please do what you can to stay safe, sorry if that's useless, but I just want you to now I care.

*Hugs Mark*