uhuh. but i have to take my jumper off.

i suppose arm warmers aren't a possibility?

nope, i mean it's just gonna be me and the teacher, and she knows about my self harm. but i still dont want her to see it! :( *hides*

*Hugs Nicole* I can relate , yesterday I had to roll up my sleeve for a nurse , I know your teacher isn't a medical professional who has probably seen it all so it must be all the more anxiety making :S

I spot an April :) , How are you ?

i no the feeling to hun i have to get a blood test once and i was so worried that she's make me take my arm band off (am i allowed to say that?) *hugs nicole94 tight* can u tell her that? That ur not comfortable with her seeing it

Julie has a good point Nicole. But I also find that people make less fuss or take less notice the less of a fuss I make of it.

Mark update on the library thing in my r/v thread if you're interested.

*taps angelic_monster's shoulder* um wats ur name

*smiles at Julie* My name is Crimson. *extends hand* Sorry I don't put it on my caption but after my mother in law joined the site I made several changes to buffer myself and make me harder to locate :)

I can't stop crying. This hurts soooo much :'(

Aww Helen *cuddles* What happened?

*cuddles helen* whats up?

*hugs Crimson, Julie, April, Mark, Nicole, Laura, Kahlia, Hayley and anyone else he had forgotten*

Played football tonight at lgbt youth group, which i loved as have really missed it for the past year, although I am a very dedicated goalkeeoer and so throw myself all over the place, which isn't good on tarmac and have an injured hand.

I'm going to be staying around for a while, but doing my reading and note taking for tutorial tomorrow which I have had a week to do, eeek oh well, there was other stuff going on which was more important.
although my tutor wants to have it in the canteen again, she cant be bothered to walk to the room, lol, I did it last time but its quite busy and my social anxiety is getting worse again and I just hate having to sit in there, plus its hard to hear and its meant to be a class.

*finds a quiet spot to do his work*

*cuddles both*

Had a nightmare as I mentioned earlier. About telling someone about the abuse and stuff that was happening at the time (I didn't tell anyone). Got really anxious & kept thinking about it. Just wouldn't go away. Been crying about the whole nightmare & the things that happened. It just hurts so much :'( I should have told. I should have known :'(

*holds Hels gently and rocks back and forth* It'll be okay, sweetie... sorry, no other comforting words at the mo, am in a bad spot mentally myself, but I'm here if you need to talk.

*cuddles everyone else* ♥

So in advanced counseling today, we talked about BPD (borderline personality disorder) and in the lecture the prof mentioned SI, and went into detail about it, with me sitting in the front row with a fresh scab on my arm. :'( It felt AWFUL, and then she mentioned about having a traumatic childhood, and I felt awful AGAIN, because, well, yeah. :-X The abuse... *rocks back and forth* In teenage years, but early on... :'( Not by an immediate family member, thank God, but still, it was scary and brought back memories that I'd rather forget. I don't have BPD, just PDNOS (with borderline traits among others), but still... *wants to cry*

At least I got my health psych stuff done, although I've got to score it before tomorrow. :( Gonna take awhile... and my hubby is in a dungeon on WoW and I'm not, because I hate them (for the most part), and so his toon is going to be higher level than mine - AGAIN, for like the 203847234th time - because he does dungeons and I don't. Sorry, I know that most people won't understand that but Hayley will and Mark might.

I don't know. I just feel like ****. :'(

*hides in the cubby under the floorboards*

*hugs everyone*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies ...

*cuddles everyone then sits down in a corner and cries*

*cuddles Kahlia* What's up, sweetie?

I spy a Hels!! :)

*cuddles April back* The champix just dropped me right back into the depression and I can't stop crying. I can't seem to get out of the dangerous thoughts cycle. :'( I feel like such a failure. I can't do anything. Everything I touch turns to sh*t. I am just a waste of space.

Sorry i'll stop complaining.

*hugs April & Kahlia and then cries too*

You're not complaining Kahlia sweetheart. You'll get out of the cycle darling. *cuddles*

April~ I hate dungeons too. And *cuddles* sorry you had to sit through that but you're almost all the way through :)

*cuddles Kahlia*

I missed your earlier post previously Helen, sorry, I have no words to help. *cuddles Helen*