hugs everyone

*Hugs Voldemort*

*Hugs Louise*

*hugs everyone*

*leaves some goodies on the table for all*

*quickly sits in the corner and rocks*... I feel like I am fighting a losing battle I just can't win

*Hugs Matt*

Love you guys.
*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Voldemort*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Felicia* <3

hugs everybody. ha im so frigging suicidal, but i dont care anymore screw it all. what the point in even trying. **** it all do not care. ha ha

*Squishes Jill*

Thanks mark. Ugh I'm sinking so fast, can't do this much
Longer. Feel so damn suicidal. Just wish I had enough bottle
To go through with my plan. I really don't want to be here anymore

Jill *Huggles* Please be strong hun , reach out to someone ...anyone , I'd miss you so much *Tackle Hugs*

love you felicia. that kittys wayyyy to cute =]

been ages since i was here but... hey guys.

Mm. I echo what was said above. Tell someone and get some help. You don't have to do this on your own. X

*hugs Mara*

*Hugs Voldemort*

Jill- I'm a bit useless with advice atm but feel free to message if u want (I said that in other post but apparently it posted early. Stupid phone ><

Amy, mara, mark, felicia, everyone else <3

*hugs everyone*
My PM box is open for anyone who needs/wants it. I check it daily.
I don't think I'm gonna be around the ward much anymore (probably until I graduate) cause I have so much uni work, and I don't feel like I'm much help anyway.

*hugs Jill and the others tightly*

I should be in bed, but I am not. I am smart, but I am not. What is the point of everyone telling me how awesome and stuff I am when they are lying to me?

Ok if I come in here? Think I need a little bit of this right now...

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Little miss Lonely*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Felicia* <3

*Hugs Heather*

*hugs you all*

I'm now in a hospital in Manchester, and I'm not sure what is going on, all I've been told is that there are no plans to discharge me yet and I'm allowed some leave.
Sorry I'm not on much don't have much internet.

*hugs Oliver*

Bouncing around, feel quite ambivalent right now about everything and anything

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Matt*

Ok... I guess it's ironic that I am here. Just recently had Psych clinicals... most definitely one of my favorite types of clinicals for school so far. Maybe because I am so vested in it? Idk. It was a great experience, but I just kept thinking to myself that I had no right to be trying to coach psych inpatients when I still haven't figured my own stuff out. I kept thinking that, by every right, I should be locked up in there too. THat if someone were to see through me, they wouldn't have let me leave the building. I just go on hoping that I find a way out of my life, and that I didn't mess up any of theirs. It was therapeutic in a way, to talk to the patients, and help them work out treatment plans, and goals, to separate myself for a while, but in the end, did I have the right to be a fake, to wear my mask, and tell them not to hide, not to keep their emotions closed in, to help them heal, while I cannot?
Now I am just overly anxious. I felt like I was going to explode while I was there, but at the same time, I was so calm outside. It was comfortable to be there with them, to try and make a difference, to see the people who were healing. It was beautiful.
And now I am rambling. sorry

You are not a fake Mousie *Huggles*

*hugs Mousie*

I keep coming so close to losing it... its like looking at the precipice and not falling... I am tired of standing on the edge. Eventually, I guess I will have to let go and see where it takes me I guess. I am tired of being pushed around, told to do stuff like I am a little kid at work (I am one of the youngest at where I work, so that's why lol. Most of the staff is older than me.) I am tired of having to bail people out, and stuff at home is making me rage. I don't have anywhere to go with it. I have resisted so far turning it against myself, but that won't last much longer >.<

*hugs Mousie* You are actually the perfect person to help them if you think about it. You know more of what they are going through than most people who see them. Not a fake. Not at all.

*hugs Mark and everyone else who's been in of late*

excuse me while i have a total meltdown *hides in a corner and lets go of the rest of my mind*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Mousie*

*Hugs Crimson*

hugs everyone

*Squishes Louise*

*hugs everyone*

I really can't be bothered with life any more.

*Smurks Lindsay*

seeking shelter from myself. Since I can't check into my local ward at this time, here will do for now.

*curls up in a ball on the bed, hides under the covers*
*prays to stay safe*

could someone hum so I can drown out my head please?

*Hugs Mousie*

*Hugs Aura*

How is everyone this Sunday?

on a trip for nursing school.... trying to figure out if this is going to be beneficial or not.... I feel more alone than I ever have been, away from my routines and habits... not so much that I am homesick, just that my OCD is really in high gear right now, but I can't clean other peoples stuff.
idk. Maybe it will be a good time away from everyone at home to reset my mind, or maybe I will really go off the deep end this time. Who knows.
*curls up in the corner*

*Hugs Mousie*

hugs everyone. oh crap the pressure keeps piling on. cant cope and i have only myself to blame.trally want to curl up and die.

hugs everyone

*Hugs Jill and Louise.* The two of your should join our fb group. Do you have it? We talk a lot on there now.

*Hugs Jill* Yes you should get with our Facebook group. :)

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Lia*

hugs lia, mark and jill

*Glomps Louise*

hugs mark - how are you

*hugs you all*

I saw the dr today and he said they will give me a 2 night leave some point this week, I had one night leave on saturday and it was a mixture of good and bad. I'm really scared about 2 nights though, scared I won't be able to cope and I'll cut or OD.

*hugs*
*passing around strawberry shortcake and fuzzy feelings to everyone*
I've been kept distracted all day and witnessed two miracles today! (I am at a birthing center for school) SO today has been a good day, one in the midst of a lot of bad ones. I am trying to savor this moment, just in case everything goes wrong again. For the first time in a while, I feel like I have a little hope. SO I will pass it around to everyone!!!!

Best wishes!

*Hugs Louise* I'm tired , nightmares :(

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Mousie*

Hugs all. Ugh can't do this next 2 weeks, it's all going to go
To ****. There is no way I'm going to pull this off. Not a hope
In hell. Ffs

*hugs everyone*

Sorry I haven't been around, i'm finding it hard to organise my thoughts to put them into words.