Anyone else or is it just me * mentions death
 

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like there dying inside. I keep thinking it over n over again I'm repeatedly thinking I'm dying, but there's no reason why I wud die so then I was wondering if maybe the thought is more meaning that I'm dying on the inside like emotionally like some part of me is dying off due to illness perhaps? I dunno if I'm being weird or just thinking to much or what but over n over I hear this thought I'm dying, over n over never sounds less urgent or less distressed either.

It sounds like you're really consumed by these thoughts, it must be distressing. I know that I often compare my emotional pain to physical illness and think that if my emotional pain was physical I would probably be dead by now. Difficult emotions can feel like death too, if you're low and slow etc. We are all dying anyway, as horrible that might seem, but it can't be good to be focusing on it so much. What does death mean to you? Is there a way to move your focus to living while you are alive? Have you spoken to anyone about these thoughts? Sorry for all the questions.

Haven't spoken to anyone about it recently or as in depth
Dnt believe in an afterlife really so death is the end to me very final no going back. An emotional death might mean no feelings or feeling like I can't come back from this like mentally and emotionally I would mayb b in ruins I dunno its juts kinda this feeling of ending. Not too sure how to focus on living more it's not much of a life right now in some ways but today was a good day I barely thought about anything negative and I met my grandad who I haven't seen in ages n he treated me to lunch so it's not all bad. Mayb I'm thinking about endings coz my care coordinator has just left without any warning n now I have to start new with someone else sorry for my long reply and thank you for responding

Life is full of endings, it's not surprising that you might be focusing on endings lots since your CC has left. It's better if you can be prepared for things like that so you can have a 'good' ending. Do endings/feeling like you're dying worry you? I'm glad you had a nice day with your Grandad, what sort of things bring you positive feelings? Is there anyone at all you feel able to talk things through with if you think it would be useful?

Yeah I Don't like endings or change. Or feeling like I'm dying it bothers me. Positive feelings can come from spending time with sisters or grandparents hanging out with friends. I like music a lot. Might be able to talk it thru at a mental health drop in I go to two a daytime one and a nighttime one it will have to wait till tomorrow at earliest tho

Talking about things at the drop in would be a good idea if you feel able to do that. Is it a one to one thing or is it like a group of other people with MH problems or what? Please try to do more things that make you feel good too. What kind of music do you like?

It's kinda both the drop in the daytime one is for people who have mental health issues and u can chat to other clients or the staff I've just asked for a chat in. Min I will update you later I'm into rock music so five finger death punch avenged sevenfold mcr evanescence linkin Park

Had that chat it went well I think. Didn't get everything out but was really nervous so that made it harder to talk I mentioned the constant thoughts that I'm dying and we discussed that dying doesn't always mean actual death with our brains it can mean change and endings and stuff also spoke about my anxiety and we made an important phone call which she will follow up on tomorrow

I'm really glad you managed to speak to someone. Do you think it might help to speak to her or someone else again if you can?

Yeah it might well help to have further chats. I'm going there again later today. Thanks for the help and hope you have a good day

It sounds like a really good resource. I hope you can get the support you need. Keep posting here if it helps.

It is and thanks. Didn't go in the end today as I was really tired and I knew if I went I'd need a shower 🚿 first which I hate doing as it makes my anxiety worse

Annd tonight is not a good night also the voices are still playing up and my bra strap is come off again lots of things are irritating me and I don't feel right

Are things any better today?

The voices have been playing up every day for months so that's ongoing feel about the same to be honest

How have you been managing with the voices? Does anyone know that they are about just now?

Some people know but not everyone I seem to be keeping it fairly quiet tbh might b an idea to tell gp it's happening again and maybe my psychiatrist not to be hat I ever see him he just tells my gp to up my meds or start adding a new one in or whatever. I do have a contact number for his office so I could ring on Monday. Gp surgery r changing their computer systems so we can't book appointments in advance at the mo which is really annoying it's gonna b like that till there fully live with it early September it's been weeks tho and I really need to see her but seeing as I don't want to make a fuss about it and demand an on the day apt I have no idea what to do. Mostly with music to block them out that helps

That is quite annoying with the GP appointment system. Would it be easier to get in touch with your psychiatrist?

Yeah possibly the gp thing is only temporary until the bigining of September but is preventing me from getting to see her. Going to try both tomorrow and see what happens

I'm forgetting how close it is to September! I hope you manage to get in touch with someone.