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-   -   violent thoughts (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=249071)

Sock 07-09-2018 05:59 PM

violent thoughts
I hope im not breaking any rules here -feel free to delete if i am
Might be a strange question.. might delete it myself later - sorry.
Im normally a very calm person (on the outside) , never hurt anyone, i care about people.
But at times when the anger builds up too much I have violent thoughts about trashing the place or screaming at / hurting people. Its normally when im in my office around people in a calm environment. My head feels chaos and detached from the surroundings due to this.
I dont want to hurt anyone but im afraid i might if it gets too much.
What do I do?

Pi.R^2 11-09-2018 07:41 PM

I don't think this breaks any rules, so don't worry :)

Do you know where this anger is coming from? Some level of angry thoughts in our day to day lives is completely normal and healthy and I think sometimes when we try to squash those and don't let ourselves feel them, they keep on building up until it kind of explodes into a much bigger anger. Could that be what's happening here do you think?

Sock 12-09-2018 05:28 PM

Thanks for the reply.

I do bottle it up. I think thats what makes it feel so extreme. Its always been the case. There were times even as a kid when I would have outbursts and hurt someone.
I'm working on ways to express it without it becoming too overwhelming but it isn't easy. So for now I'm avoiding anything that could trigger the slightest bit of anger. I've already had a go at my housemate for something very trivial and i can't afford to mess up like that again with anyone.

Pi.R^2 15-09-2018 12:47 PM

What about keeping a notebook for expressing angry thoughts when they initially arrive? That way you could process them a bit and decide whether you were going calmly and politely address the source of the anger or let it go, without a third option of "continue to feel progressively angrier about it but not do anything"!

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