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*Squishes Oliver Tight*
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*hugs Oliver* If you do in fact go back to uni this September, how about doing the work in bite size pieces? Do 15 minutes of an essay then doing something else for 15 minutes then 15 more minutes of the essay, etc, etc for example? I find working in small bits makes it less over whelming.
Though I would also like to point out what your doc is probably thinking... If you are trying not to let her down and then you try when you aren't ready to go back and you get worse that would let her down more than if you were to be sure you were ready before hand. Have you talked to your mom about it? |
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I am feeling so so been distracting myself, trying to keep busy. |
*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Louise* |
*curls up sleepily*
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*hugs Louise, Mark and Heather*
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*pops and to leave hugs, plushies, duvets, tea and chocolates*
Good night everyone! And a good weekend too... I'll be back in Tuesday. :) |
*peeps outta my tent* hello.. havent been here in ages
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*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Crimson** *Waves to Amy* |
*hugs all who want hugs*
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*hugs Oliver*
I overdosed on Friday. I went to hospital and was kept in overnight and put on various drips. There was a patient in the bed next to me who went over to the patient in the bed oposite me and whispered "I think she self harms herself." Then she went on to tell her visitor and also told him about a 'boat trip' that I had taken during the night. I was hallucinating and thought the beds were boats and the nurses were walking about in the sea so were going to drown. So I pressed my buzzer for a nurse to come and I told her that everyone needed to get in the boats or they would drown. She simply told me that I wasn't on a boat but was in hospital and I think I then realised that was the truth and said "oh, ok." The doctor I saw on the ward insisted that I speak to a psychiatrist to make sure that this wasn't a suicide attempt and that it wouldn't happen again. The psychiatrist was nice but he worked on the basis of my old psychiatrist's management plan so didn't consider hospital even when I told him that I have now met the three men in my head and i'm worried that they may be planning on killing my brother. He said that he'll get in touch with my psychiatrist and suggest that I see a CPN. So, the three men. They are younger than I thought they were. They seem to be in their late twenties. I only saw the first one out of the corner of my eye, he was sitting on a chair at the end of the ward. The next one showed himself to me on a wall and the next one on a blanket. They haven't spoken to me yet, just sent me the feeling that they are going to kill my brother. The psychiatrist and a nurse told me that they won't kill my brother because they are in my head. They don't get it. The men came close to killing me but I suppose that it is my body and I can hopefully have some control over it. If they try to kill my brother maybe my love for him will be able to stop them. This all sounds like a sick fairytale. Well, here I am back to normality. I'll start gradually saving up my medication again though but I might not go to hospital the next time seen as I don't seem to require any proper treatment. I don't think I can move forward away from overdosing. I'm too obsessed with hospitals and the emergency services. I'm reading The Blood of Strangers and I watch so many TV programmes about paramedics and people who practice medicine; 24 Hours in A&E, the Real A&E, Real Rescues, London Ambulance, Medical Emergency, Casualty, Holby City, Emergency Bikers...I also crave attention and care. I like that in hospital all you have to do is press a button and someone will come and help you with whatever you need help with. Sorry this was so long. |
*hugs Lindsay* I'm really sorry you OD'd, but I'm glad you went and got help.
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*Hugs Oliver* How are you?
*Hugs Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry you od lovely |
How are you, Ian?
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I'm not bad thanks Lindsay. How are you feeling?
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I'm glad you're not bad. I'm feeling like I want to OD again.
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*Hugs Oliver*
*Massive squishes Lindsay* *Hugs Ian* |
at my parents for Dad's birthday , I'll be sporadically online today , sorry
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Hope your day goes ok, Mark.
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Thanks Lindsay *Hugs* I'm only a PM away should you need to talk hun :)
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*curls up in blankie fort*
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I'm just going to shuffle over to the window and curl up with my duvet. Don't mind me.
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*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Sleepy Kitty if okay* |
*asks if can have hug*
i maybe getta see felicia 'fore you :P |
*Squishes Heather*
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=] ^.^
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*hugs all* how are you?
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Hugs are absolutely okay - and much needed. Thank you. *Hugs back*
I'm not having a good one. I'm curled up in my duvet IRL too...:crying: |
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Laura* *Hugs Sleepykitty* |
*hugs sleepykitty* sorry don't know your name
*hugs mark* |
hey laura =]
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(My name is Katie)
*hugs* |
Hi Katie, i'm Lindsay. *hugs*
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*Hugs Katie*
*Hugs Laura* *Hugs Heather* *Hugs Lindsay * *Night time hugs my wardies* |
*Hugs Laura*
*Hugs Mark* *Hugs Lindsay* *Hugs Katie* *Hugs Oliver* *Hugs Heather* |
Need to hide.
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*sits with* sup hun?
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I can't deal with my own feelings right now. I don't want these things going through my head. I feel like cutting it out is the only option. Can't hide from myself.
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<3333 try not to cut sweetie. pm if you wanna x
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I'm trying. I'm on here on my phone to distract myself since my head won't let me fall asleep either. Thank you.
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*hugs everyone*
thinking of you guys, despite my absence... been doing a lot of thinking. |
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Mrs Pan* *Hugs Heather* *Hugs Laura* How have you been hun ? |
All the new names! It might take me a while to get to know them all.
*Hugs everyone* I slept right through the night. Miracle! |
*Hugs Katie* I Like your Signature :)
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Morning everyone.
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Thanks Doikers! I love Mrs Dalloway. <3
*hugs* |
Katie , You can call me Mark :) *Hugs*
*Hugs Lindsay* |
*hugs all* how are you?
had an appointment with a specialist today. It was exhausting but it went ok. She gave me 2 questionairs |
hugs everyone
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*admits self*
*cries* can't cope with these feelings and its going to get worse |
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