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-   -   Beyond repair. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248931)

chinahorse 16-02-2019 11:16 PM

I'm nearly crying because the cc I trusted has left me. Everyone must hate me. I must be evil.

chinahorse 18-02-2019 07:33 PM

Can I kill myself now? I'm tired. I'm dreading every single moment of everything.

Buttons. 18-02-2019 09:33 PM

I can imagine how hard losing a CPN you trusted can be and you have every right to be upset, unfortunately life sometimes gets in the way for the CPNs, it is nothing personal and it is not your fault. I hope your next CPN is good, you deserve it.

Please don't kill yourself, although it's bloody awful right now believe me when I say things can and will get better, unfortunately you have to ride out a very heavy storm to get there, but I have faith that you will

chinahorse 19-02-2019 08:16 AM

Sorry I was feeling very emotional yesterday. I know that cpn change but it's more that they leave without warning and then the cmht forgets about me. It's not on.

I appreciate your kind words.

Auror. 19-02-2019 06:53 PM

I know it can be really hard and really distressing to have to change providers, especially when you got on with them and it's not by choice. That really sucks. I think you said though that your cc had been not great about following up with things for you though? Will you be given a new one? It might not be a bad thing (though still hard) because if you do get a new one they might be better about keeping up with you and helping you get what you need?

chinahorse 19-02-2019 07:02 PM

It's a small team. I don't know if they are giving me anyone else. I did ask someone to call me about it but they called outside the hours I told them I was available. I rioting. That was monday. Then they weren't in the office when I called today. So frustrating when I can't even speak to anyone to find out what's going on! Especially when I feel so down and low right now.

one_step_closer 20-02-2019 07:17 PM

They are being beyond rubbish, I can see that you need some proper support at the moment. I know I keep saying this and I can't really remember your response but can you get in touch with an advocate? I think someone needs to help you to fight for the support you need and deserve.

chinahorse 20-02-2019 08:17 PM

My problem is time. I work all the bloody time so haven't time to get an advocate. Or time to meet them.

one_step_closer 21-02-2019 08:11 PM

It might be worth even talking to an advocacy service on the phone and seeing if there is somewhere you can go from there.

chinahorse 21-02-2019 09:00 PM

I don't know where to find one.

Apparently I'm getting a new cpn. No one even told me the last one left. Can't tell me when but apparently I'll be invited to a meeting with my new one. All this off a receptionist because no one from my team could be bothered to talk to me.

I also had a very bad response to a complaint I put in. So I'm very upset. Very down. Thinking about just giving up now.

one_step_closer 23-02-2019 03:02 PM

Please don't give up. If no one is fighting for you then you really need to keep fighting for you, to find the people that will be there for you.

About advocacy, Google search MH advocacy service in your area?

chinahorse 03-03-2019 04:12 PM

Hey all, Ive 3 appointments this week that are starting to make me anxious and I could do with someone to tell me the world isn't going to end.

tamobhuuta 03-03-2019 04:31 PM

The world is definitely not going to end! I hope the appointments all go well. Be brave, you can do this. Is there anything specific you are worried about?

one_step_closer 03-03-2019 04:49 PM

Yep, the world is not ending, although I can understand the feeling of huge anxiety. 3 appointments are a lot, I can imagine you have worries relating to each of them so you're having to worry about them all at once. I guess that's kind of better than having them more spaced out and carrying the worry over a longer term. When are the appointments? Is there anything you can think of that might make them slightly less anxiety provoking? I hope they go well.

chinahorse 03-03-2019 06:34 PM

Thanks guys.

Anxiety is kicking in hugely. I have the therapy appointment on Tuesday that I've been waiting months for. Then Friday I have a meeting with new support person and a podiatry appointment. I'm going to take Friday off sick as they won't give me time off. Which is also anxiety provoking.

And I'm a sweaty poorly anxiety belly meas.

Unbreakable. 04-03-2019 04:33 AM

*sends gentle cuddles*

one_step_closer 04-03-2019 03:05 PM

How are you doing today? Is there a way you can try and prepare for the appointments so hopefully you will have a little less anxiety, like writing stuff down for them?

tamobhuuta 04-03-2019 07:00 PM

Good luck for tomorrow x

chinahorse 05-03-2019 04:06 PM

Thanks guys. Had one appointment today. It went fairly well but am now exhausted. Feel guilty for not going back to work but I can't face it. I'm too tired.

tamobhuuta 05-03-2019 05:02 PM

That's ok, look after yourself.


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