*hugs everyone* There have been far too many replies since I last popped in for me to point out individuals!

*dances* no GCSE results but i still got into college!!!!
and helen and mark, sorry i made you worry :( im fine, i went to bed and had a good nights sleep, woke up, went to school and they wouldnt give me my results :( nearly ended it there and then, but made myself go to my auntie teresas and talk it through with her and she took me to the college and she got me into the course and then took me to get a job application form and helped me fill it in, so yeah, its been an ok couple of days really :D

That's great to hear, Nicole!

That's good news Nicole! I'm glad things have been going well for you.

thanks guys! im so excited, yet so scared aswell! but ive been put on a course with a lot of help and support and i think i will be ok!

*HUMONGOUS HUGS April* I'm SO happy for you !!! GOOD LUCK for your interview on the morrow !!

*GIGANTIC HUGS Nicole* YEY For you getting into college , what course are you doing ? *Happy you are okay too*

*Huggles Claire* How are you feeling?

What course will you be doing, Nicole?

Thanks Doikers (sorry, I don't know your name). I'm not doing so great right now. A mix of family stuff, me stuff, general depression rubbishness.

*squishes mark*
im doing a steps programme which is a mixture of a lot of courses but my main is gonna be health and social care, its for people that arent very confident or didnt get the grades and it has a lot more support :D

*rugby tackles Nicole too* Glad you're okay sweets & that you got into college.

*hugs everyone else* Been too many replies to try keep up!!!

Hi Claire . My name is Mark :)

lol, *hugs helen* thanks hun, im now trying to think of all the things im gonna need to buy for college, anyone got any ideas? (just general things)

Hi Mark. *hugs*

Nicole, it sounds like it will be a good course, and you sound really up for it as well. I hope it goes well for you. As for what you'll need, paper and pens. For paper I like spiral-bound notebooks, and for pens anything will do but I use a trusty Bic biro. I'm not sure about others things you'll need though, like if there is anything course specific. Some people like to organise things into folders too.

*sneaks in and hides out*

*hides with Crimson*

Nicole, so so glad that you are okay!! and also glad that you sound so upbeat about your college course. :) Well done.

*hugs claire* yeah, thanks, so far i've got
folder, pens, pencils, notebooks, long sleeved tops.
i cant think if theres anything else though cause im going shopping tomorrow.

*adds to Nicole's list: pencil sharpener, pencil holder, highlighter, extra erasers, calculator, backpack/bag...*
I just got my kids their school supplies a lil bit ago :)

*hugs Nicole tightly* I've seen what you got already, I suggest highlighter pens too ^_^ Might come in use!!!

Oh yes, highlighters can be good. Just don't do what some people do and highlight the entire page apart from words like 'and'. It defeats the purpose of highlighting!

*hugs helen and poisoned apple (****, sorry forgot your name, im actually having a blonde day and the name change is confusing me XD)* thanks guys. will write this all down and take it tomorrow.

Seriously?? :| That's just...pointless!!

*hugs Nicole* Poisoned apple is crimson hun :) Yay, shopping is fun. I'm going shopping tomorrow after my appointment at the jobcentre ^_^

*hugs helen* thanks, i knew that lol, minds just going a bit blank, so much stuff going round in there! and i know shopping is fun, i love it lol, gotta just get college stuff though, but i need new clothes for college anyways (non-uniform, but i thought i would be better to keep my arms coverd?)

I need new clothes, but I can't really afford to go shopping. Sad times.

huggles all. not sure why im bothering anymore. i either get comments like im such a joy to be around, to what makes you think you will get that job. fu*king hate this. feeling like i should just kill myself so they would have to put up with me and my crap. hides in a corner and cries.

Hey Claire. I'm Lia.

*Dances back with April* Although I am triggered right now because of stupid people deciding that breaking my heart isn't enough, but she has to stomp all over the pieces as well. Humph. Well still, that's really great April! So glad to see you happy. :) Cheered me up a little.

Well done on getting into college Nicole! I also got the grades I wanted, and I'm in my 6th form! I'm not happy with all my results, but I got A*/A for all the ones I am taking for A-level, so screw the others.

Lol, I used to do that with highlighting. I would end up with just everything done. It's all important or it wouldn't be written down! Still, I've learned the art of selection.

xx

Jill, you shouldn't 'just kill yourself' you mean a lot to everyone on here, and I'm sure I don't just speak for myself when I say we would all feel like we had let you down in some way. They're the ones with the problem, not you. People should accept you for who you are and if they don't them **** 'em. Not literally.

xx

Not doing well right now.. so sorry for the lack of individuals.

but i did want to introduce myself to Claire b/c i don't think i have so.... Hi! I'm Laura. Nice to meet you.

*curls up and cries* I don't know what is wrong with me exactly. I think its anxiety stuff pushing me over the edge, but i just want to hide away and disappear.

4 pages since last night, crap :(

I did read them all though! Kahlia, April, and Helen - CONGRATS :D *throws confetti all around* You girls are amazing :)

So... had my psych evaluation today. Nervous as hell going in, but managed to stay somewhat composed. Long story short, it just pissed me off more. And I'm quickly losing hope of ever getting better. More details in the r/v thread soon, since I don't want to spam the ward :)

*hugs all the wardies tight*

*wanders in quietly, feeling like utter *****

:crying:

Is anyone there?

x

Oh hello April. What's the matter? *Hugs*

x

My bestie's taken a turn for the worse :'(

Can I have some hugs? :(

*Hugs Helen* What do you mean? What happened?

xx

*hugs Helen*
*cuddles Lia and April*

~~~
I've been so nervous since applying for that job I feel like I'm going to throw up :/ I want this job so bad I can't help it...
*K I'll shut up about it now...

*hugs hels*

really should get some sleep, or i am so gonna fail this interview... and thanks for the comments everyone :) xx

She had stomach pains over past few days, which was down to an ulcer, which ended up bursting and then they rushed her to surgury. Then she woke up about half 5ish. She was okay, despite being sick which is apprantly a good sign, but she's taken a little turn....

"She's has been throwing up a lot more. They took her off the drip and tried her on tablets for pain releif but had to put her back on a drip as she was throwing the tablets back up. She has been in and out of conciousness for the last half hour and has been struggling with her breathing. They have put her in a room herself, she's on oxygen and the doctor has said she is not to be without a nurse for any longer than 5 minutes at a time"

"From her breathing rate, heart rate and blood prssure he said she's at risk of having a seizure. Her heart is beating very fast which he also seemed quite concerned about so he is just trying to get her body under control"

"Yes either before a seizure or her heart just giving up. Goodness that is me set myself of with the tears again pet"

*checks in indefinately *

Hey Becci. Welcome, I'm Lia. :)

Helen, I'm so sorry to hear that. But she's in the best hands. The doctors and nurses, they know what they're doing. She's young, she has a good chance. Things always have to get worse before they get better. I don't really know what else to say. I can't promise you she will be OK, because of course I can't know that. I know that's not what you want to hear. She does however have the best possible chance. People have survived much worse. Praying for her. *Hugs*

xx

Thanks Lia *cuddles tight* She's a fighter, she's been really sick before now with various things & she's always gotten through them. She's been through worse than this.....much worse.

*curls up*

Gr, I'm so itchy everywhere, well in 3 places but got creams on them all, so can't scratch >.< BUT I WANT TO SCRATCH >.< Damm sensitive skin :(

hello

*huggles everybody*

Hels & April: Yes, my celebration day was also the 25th so we all co-ordinated really nicely!!

Hels: I really hope things are starting to improve with your bestie. AND I hope that you are coping okay especially with the job/studies fronts.

Sorry but that's all I can do on the individuals front at the moment. There have been four (4) pages since I was in here last and I just can't keep everything straight in my head and don't want to get it all messed up.

I slept again last night but awoke at 04:30. Yuck. And we had rain (in winter) and it was cold again after what was almost summer-like weather for a few days. The best part about this morning was that my textbook arrived even though I wasn't expecting it until the middle of next week!! And our internet should switch over either today or tomorrow to our new provider so if I don't get online, that's why.

*leaves hugs and cuddles, soft cuddly stuffed animals and safe care packages for all*

Heya Lex. I'm Lia :) We have a lot of newbies recently, not that it's a bad thing!

I hope you're alright Helen. PM me if you need to talk, although I might be going to sleep soon, I will get back to you as soon as possible. I can sympathise with the itching. I got bitten to buggery in Canada.

xxx

hey lia.
Ive been here for a while...but lurking lol
I left for like a year but im back now

Hi Alex, how you doing hun??

Oooh yay for all 3 of us reaching a milestone on the same day :D I've not had anymore news on my bestie, but hopefully she's improving. I'm trying to cope, I've had to try calm myself down, was making my chest pains worse. Meh >.<

I'm trying to be okay. Thanks for the offer :) Oh that sucks about being bitten lots >.< Hope they stop itching soon :)

*curls up*

pretty **** hels.
but hey
you?

*hugs April & hands tissues*

*hugs Lia* How are you doing?

*super special hugs for Hels* I do hope your bestie makes a fast and healthy recovery <33

*hugs Crimson* My fingers are crossed for you getting the job! :)

*waves to Becci* Hey, I'm Taz :)

*hugs Kahlia* Enjoy your textbook :) Am I the only geek who loves reading her textbooks when they're new? Probably. Whatever.

*waves to Lex* Welcome back then. *EDIT* I was typing this in Advanced mode and didn't notice the avatar or the signature, hence why I didn't realize it was you. People need to stop changing their names >< Confuses the hell out of me! On a side note, why feeling so ****?

You know what guys? I'm going to shock you all now and actually answer! Honestly!

I'm trying to be OK, but I'm not really. The woman I love has left. She's moved away. She really was my everything. She was what I held on for. Each day I looked forward to seeing her, but she never loved me back. She broke my heart and stomped on the pieces, and now, from Dorset, she's managed to hurt me again. It's killing me inside, if I wasn't dead enough already.

There's something else. Something I can't bring myself to talk about, to tell anyone. I trust you guys on here, but I just can't.

What's up Lex?

How are you Taz?

*Hugs both*
xx

haha sorry taz
my nana is dying.

*hugs Lia tightly* I'm so sorry to hear hun :( Broken hearts always suck. *hands over big tub of calorie-free ice cream* Indulge :)

*hugs Lex* And now I feel like a jerk, because I should have remembered this from reading earlier. **** >< . That really sucks though - cancer is a horrible disease to have :( I'm looking forward to the day they find a cure for it...

Oh darling *cuddles tight* I'm in pain & bit low meh.

Oh thank you *special hugs for you too* Me too =[

*cuddles really tight* I'm sorry. Can you get in contact with her??????

it doesnt matter taz.
Me too.
Im considering doing a sponsered bungee jump for cristies cancer hospital...but right now..im too down to sort it out :(