I HATE spiders.

*gets rid of all the spiders and puts them on an island far far away in the middle of antartica*
*brings in cookies and teddies and hugs and hot drinks to replace them*

:]

Give me all the spiders, I love them =]
I want a tarantula, I'm going to get one when I get my gecko and my toad!
Mmmmm mocha. Ta.
How is everyone?

blah..urself Ku?

Gosh, late, sorry.
What's up?
Today's a bad day.
But it's fine, am used to it.

*sits in corner, knees to chest, arms around knees, rocking and crying*
When...does... it...ever...end?!?!

What's wrong hun?

Life is really getting to me.
I don't wanna be here anymore... I really don't

Have you spoken to anyone about the things that are getting to you?
*hugs*

nope... don't like dumping my **** on people

It's not dumping, it's talking to people who want to listen.
Like us here.
Or you could do a rant thread? It helps to get thoughts out of your head. It does for me, anyway.

I want to get out.
Sorry.
x

What's happened Helen?
Don't be sorry x

I did something really stupid last night. Can't say what, but I hate myself.

Hi all. Sorry I haven't been around. Have had my birthday on the 26th and my sisters on the 27th, and with a new medication regimen have been sleeping heaps.

*hugs everyone*

I hope everyone starts to do a little better now that September is nearly over.

Nothing as such. Just a whole load of feelings and stuff rupturing. I have to get out. I'm sorry. I have to die. Maybe tomorow. :wow:

What's happened sweetie? *snuggles* PM if you want?

Happy late Birthday sweetie :D *hugs you lots*

*hugs to everyoune thats having a bad time*

Theorpy doesn't work, I only feel safe/happy around a select few people and not even all the time then. I have no skills and no idea what to do with myself.

What is the point? I can't see it. I am just a waste being here.

Thanks Helen. It's greatly appreciated, especially since I'm going through a bit of a rough time at present.

*hugs you back*

*hugs everyone else who wants hugging and passes out hot drinks*

I'm a waste of breathing space.

It's no problem sweetie, don't forget we're always here and my pm box is always open to you <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

*hugs to everyone that needs them*
my brain has decided to run out of words tonight, sorry =[

*hugs to everyone*

Yesterday was horrible... who knows what today'll bring.

Basically my boyfriend told me he wants to be on a break for a couple of years, but not see other people. I made him promise me he wouldn't see anyone else and made the same promise to him. People have said this is unfair, like he owns me but I get nothing good out of it.
Well, the other night, I was ridiculously drunk and ended up sleeping with someone else. I told my boyfriend straight away and he said it was partly his fault for 'breaking up' with me and not sleeeping with me for a long time.
I'm not sure if he's angry, he's probably angry at the guy because he's good mates with him and to be honest, I think he should have known better. He took advantage of me because I was really drunk. Not saying he raped me, but there is no way in hell I would have done that sober.
I've had four baths and still don't feel clean. I can't stop crying, I feel like I've ruined everything. I love my boyfriend so much it hurts.
Even worse, we didn't use protection (I'm on the pill, so pregnancy isn't going to be an issue) but he's been with some real skanks so I reckon I'm gonna have to get myself tested.
Oh this is so horrible. Hugs please? Not that I deserve them.

*cuddles Zowie tightly*

*cuddles Zowie loads*

*cuddles Zowie hard* we all make mistakes honey especially when we're drunk *more hugs*

*hugs Helen* whatsup honey you know my pm box is always open *more hugs* that goes for anyone here

Thank you for the cuddles. Feel awful, just texted my boyfriend to see if he's okay. I hope he is. x

Been increadibly suidical, ill and stressed :wow: Such a loser cus I od'd :blink:

Oh Helen sweetheart. I know just how you feel, I ODd earlier just so I could sleep through the day. Have you taken a lot? Do you need to get yourself checked? x

*snuggles Zowie* I haven't taken a lot, really want to though. I probs do need to get checked. Everytime I've come close to it since my last one (which was pretty big) I've always wondered if I'd get the same effects as I have done when taking this amount before or would it be worse because of that od. I dunno....probs don't need to get checked, I have no idea...

Helen please get yourself checked...
better safe than sorry...
*cuddles*

Nobody would believe me.
Well they would.
I don't know.
I feel my gp doesn't take me very seriously at times :blink:

well then hunni...
maybe it's time to find a new gp?

*Snuggles Helen* Let us know how you're doing? x

To have to explain it all over again would topple me again I think. I don't know. :blink:

*snuggles Zowie* Not doing great cus I'm already ill anyway...so thinkg its just that and my stomach hurts :wow: but might be cus of being a female...and its late again >.<

*hides in a hidey hole*

*joins you in said hole*

*sighs* it's been one of those days...

*stumbles in* i just cant do this anymore *offers hugs for anyone who needs them*

Still having a red day. BAd bad bad x

*hugs everyone*

People keep trying to keep me safe... not sure I want them to though... that's the problem. It's gonna make me start hiding things from them again... but... I don't know... waiting for youth leader to phone me today... she said she would, but... we'll see. Gonna talk to the pastor at church at some point... she thinks I need to. She gonna get me professsional help, at some point.... but... I don't know what I want.

I'm gonna OD in the college bathrooms. Can't do it here, dad's too watchful.

Please don't sweetie. What's happened to make you feel that bad?

First day is going ****.
Didn't even make it into my first lecture.
How on earth am I meant to explain that to the lecturer?
Really craving to die man >.<

Thank you Hana, for listen all of yesterday and this morning so far lol.
Bored of me whining yet?
Please allow yourself to have help (check me all hyprocritical)...

Helen, I love you. I'll text you in a sec sweetie. I'll never get bored of talking to you sweetie, you're not whining hun. Like I said before, just struggling sweetheart. Honestly. On the phone to another mate. I just... don't worry about me hun, I'll be fine. (from what I remember anyways) look after yourself sweetheart. Text you in 2 secs

xxx

I seriously love you Hana. I'm still waiting for my text though :laugh: I'm glad you'll never get bored of talking to me hun. I feel like I am whining though. Yeah I am struggling, meh heh. Please tell me what's wrong, I'm not convinced you're actually ok :wow: I worry because I care for you, like a lot.

I've managed to email my disability co-ordinater person about what happened this morning, left one slight detail out- well the panic attack thing and called it a personal problem. But she's given me the details of my notetaker for this week and next week (as they're still sorting out my one for IT) and have texted her apolgising and told her what had happened and asked if we could meet up at some point today. No reply yet, really nervous. Oh and I've managed to email my lecturer or whatever they're called :laugh: so hopefully he'll repsond after the lecture has finished as it's on til 1.25pm.

Really not looking forward to my Mum finding out I didn't make it, she'll expload at me for a 3rd time today. Like she did twice already this morning. Apprantly I'm really selfish because I didn't tell her I wasn't needing to be up for 6am and because I didn't go and get any milk yesterday (maybe she's cranky without her cup of tea?) But it's so easy for her to ask me to do something and expect me to do it. Whereas for me, if I'm having a bad day, I tend to have no motivation to get washed & dressed for hours on end and then to go out. Meh I'll go get some if I go home. Might not bother returning tonight lol.

Code-red is late and it's stressing me out even more.

Anyway better go and see this person about my modules later, well once I've got some food down me because I'm really hungry. Hopefully she won't need to see my timetable, don't want everyone to know my personal problems already :pinch: but maybe it'd help her knowing. I don't know....

Sorry if I worried anyone with my last post, was in a really bad place.
I ended up doing it and collapsing at college, they got me an ambulance and I was kept in A&E for 8 hours. They're sending me to hospital, just got a few minutes to nip home and get some stuff.
Gonna miss you guys! x