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-   -   Feeling like it's intrusive to just assume someone needs help without asking (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=260933)

Reminiscer 30-10-2020 09:20 PM

Feeling like it's intrusive to just assume someone needs help without asking
 
Does anyone believe that it can be seen as intrusive to just assume someone needs help without asking first? I will admit, I do to an extent. If I am really struggling and it is obvious, then I don't mind. But if I am okay and I even say that I don't need help, then I think it can be somewhat intrusive to just help anyway. What is worse is how if I decline someone's request to help, someone may get mad that I didn't accept it. I was once a part of an organization and while cleaning up, a couple people asked if I needed help. I was practically done so I politely said no thanks. I knew them pretty well. Someone overheard that and flipped out on me for not accepting their help. The two people wound up helping but felt very awkward due to how they were acting. It was clearly out of obligation by that point. I wasn't trying to be rude, I just simply didn't need help. But the person who flipped out thought it was rude to decline help.

I've seen that happen to other people too. Some people just don't like it when people assume they need help. I know people who get annoyed when they claim to have things under control, but if you start helping anyway, they get mad. In a way, it may seem unnecessary to get mad but some people may find that intrusive. I knew one person who was in a wheelchair, and despite that, she was very independent. She was able to do lots of things on her own, she just simply couldn't walk. Well if someone just assumed she needed to be pushed or have something moved out of the way even though she was totally capable of doing it herself, she would get annoyed. I know people are just trying to be helpful but sometimes help is just not wanted. Do you think it can come off as intrusive? There are plenty of other examples like this, where someone just assumes someone else needs help which results in the person who is being helped getting annoyed.


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