*hugs Mark* bleh. Last night sucked so much, I was up until 4am crying and I did some pretty stupid things. I told my fiance I wanted to talk about it today but we were too busy to sit and talk so I'm waiting. I feel so guilty about last night. I didn't SI or OD but still, I feel awful.

This is what my boss put on my desk this morning... it's cute but not all that good for me. It's filled with Hershey kisses.

*hugs Mark and Sarah* It's np Mark. If I didn't get shorted on sleep this weekend I'd have probably sent the info to you already though. On the upside My daughter has finished one of her 3 social studies books for this year completely. (1.5 more SS books, .5 of a reading book, .5 of a spelling book, 1.75 science, 1 art, .5 math, .75 spanish left... the science and art we make her wait on or she'd never do her other work lol)

I'm achy and tired but overall not too bad.

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry you had such a crap night hun , Don't feel down on yourself about last night , I mean you felt awful but you didn't S.I. and you Didn't OD , that shows real strength .

*cuddles Crimson*

*cuddles Mark* My tummy hurts :( I kinda made myself ill last night, I felt awful and guilty and meh :(

*hugs Crimson, hugs Mark*
*waves at Sarah & Kitty * nice to meet you Sarah

leaves hugs for Laura, thanks chick.

Off to work now, really busy couple of days then Xmas and I can sit for a few days.

You all take care of each other
JK
x

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry you had a rough night.

Crimson, that's such a cute gift.

*sigh* I'm listening to If I Die Young by The Band Perry. I love this song, but yeah...
I need to stop thinking about death. It's not pretty.
Also, I'd like to get off this roller coaster of moods. Up... down, down, up, up, standstill, down, up.. It's tiresome.

Awh , thats a sweet gesture from your Boss Crimson :)

*Hugs JK* In case I don't run into you before the event.... Happy Christmas JK !!! Take it easy at work :)

*hugs JK* Nice to meet you

*cuddles Felicia* I hope you're okay hun

Thats a lovely gesture Crimson, all fancy and glittery *cuddles*

*hugs Mark*

Thanks Mark, all hugs gratefully accepted! Xmas is a tough time, as many on here will attest to. But I'm looking forward to the break that's for sure. Will try and take it easy here, its about 26 degrees and 90% humidity again, today I have a hair appointment and lunch out with my team, so nothing tooooo strenuous..lol

*hugs back*

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry that that happened Hun :( how long has your tummy hurt for ? Could you take any painkillers?

Been about 2h now, like heartburn and a dull ache mixed. I'll be fine I guess. A blip I hope. I don't want it to happen again, I feel so terrible about it. I think I need help

*Squishes Sarah*

*squishes Mark* thanks. I'm feeling a little better being here.

*Hugs Crimson , whilst I can't ralate ( Wrong Gender :S) I can empathise , I hate having pain *Makes a hot water bottle up for you*

Oh no. I have a copper coil and thats caused me no end of problems. I refuse to ever have another implant. Ever.

I'm going to have a bath now , That sometimes helps me feel more relaxed , Triggered feeling are less than previous days but still there in the back of my mind , telling me I should cut because I can :S

*cuddles Mark* I hope you feel better after your bath

Okay I am back , and damp heh In my top that Hannah L bought me for my birthday and my PJ bottoms.....

Oh looking at my wounds on my leg , 1 seems okay, 1 seems redish and the other one is red and angry looking , not entirley sure what to do , I hope it's not infected :S , They don't usually get infected .

Do you have any antiseptic creams Mark? It could just be deeper than the other 2 or it could have gotten irritated and inflamed but I'd apply an antiseptic cream just to keep it from getting infected if it isn't.

Yeah I have some cream for rashes and bites I'll try that.

*Spots and Hugs Nicole* How are you Hun?

*cuddles Mark* I hope your leg is okay :(

-hugs ward-

*hugs Mark* I hope your leg is okay
*Hugs Sarah*
*hugs Kitty*

I'm cold. and irritated. All I want is to be happy. Is that too much to ask?

*hugs everyone* Wow. I am gonna kill someone. Apparently I have been on the laptop for hours when I have only just got online. So I am allowed 5 more mins. ****ing family :( I just wanna end it all now.

*cuddles Kitty* How you feeling today?

*snuggles Felicia* no its not too much at all

*hugs Nicole* Poor dear :( I hate it when family do that. Please stay safe hun x

*Hugs Kitty* How are you ?

*Hugs Nicole*I'm sorry your family are on your case.

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Sarah* I put cream on my leg.

Good :) Should start to look and feel better soon. I keep a tube of cream in my handbag now. Eep.

-hugs felicia and nicole- I'm sorry, I don't really know what to say. Except for the fact that I can relate... -hugs again-

-hugs sarah and mark- I'm...ya I won't go into that its not important.

How are you?

I'm alright, had a rough night last night though and my tummy and throat are hurting a fair bit, but I should be okay. I hope you're okay Kitty :( let me know if there's anything I can do for you

*hugs Kitty* we're here if you want to talk.

Good Sarah I'm glad you are doing alright. Sorry to hear that you had a rough night last night.

-hugs felicia- thanks, but I really don't know what to say. I just want to die. Have an appointment to go to in about 20 minutes I'll have to leave. I don't want to leave. I just want to die. I'm sick and tired of everything.

Oh Kitty don't die :( we all love you here, lots. The ward wouldn't be the same without you hun <3

*hugs Kitty* I'm right there with you, dear. My PM box is always open if you wanna chat/vent/rant.

*Hugs Kitty* How you feel is important , here if you want to share for 22minutes at least.

I have a question . Tomorrow is the last day that I will meet my nurse before she go's on maternity leave for a year. we have been meeting for many years and she has always been there for me. I am going to miss her , she has practicaly been like the caring, listening, helping , level headed Big Sister I never had ( being the eldest ) . Should I tell her I will miss her? Should I even mention that I feel she is like a big sister to me? being that our relationship is professional I don't know if that's overstepping the mark but I would hate not to say anything and miss her for a year .....

I would tell her that you'll miss her, Mark. I don't think that's overstepping boundaries.

And since I think the ward needs some cuteness, you guys get to see my new dog (yes, she's about the size of a rodent, before you ask):

I don't know. I would want to tell her but I wouldn't know how to :( *hugs Mark* You should tell her you'll miss her whilst she's on maternity leave, I'm pretty sure thats okay professionally. I think. Ah my advice sucks.

Edit - *Squeeeeeeeee!* ickle tiny dog! I love her :D

Thanks Felicia I will try , I got tearful running through it in my head :,)

Awwww look at the little doggy :) He is cute , what's his name Felicia?

Your Advice is better than you think Sarah :)

Her name's Buttercup, Mark. Although my grandma and grandma tend to call her "Little Bit" cause she's a little bit of dog.
I'm going to be rather mad if she gets confused on what her name is. haha.

*hugs everyone* cuz i wanna brag... Got a b in world civ, a in psych, and a in women& gender studies prolly (including an a on that stupid insurance paper i wrote in a day o.O but i know gona get told the b should be an a but since i worked my ass of im gonna try to enjoy it whilst i can ><

I want your doggie felicia. Mines too big :p

Thanks Mark :)

Buttercup, oh my, the name is cute too!

Well done Heather!

*Hugs Heather* WAAAAAY TOOOOO GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Felicia , does Buttercup get on with your Kitty ?

Yay! Well done on the grades, Heather!