*Hugs Sarah*
I'm sorry things are so rough, dear.


I cannot face these memories for this Creative Writing story.

*cuddles little Felicia kitty* hope you're okay lovely

Arm is so sore now, stupid flu jab, I don't even need it, I'm not on the meds anymore! :( but anyway, bed now, night wardies :) *cuddles all*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Nicole*

Kahlia!*Hugs* I spot you :) How are you ?

*Hugs Julie* I spot you too :)

Heya Mark, how are you?

Hey Felicia:) I'm just back from "Group" so triggered so both injure and drink but it was MUCH better this week , Less people , no intimidating atmosphere Did relaxing exersises which was nice and yeah if I can get through being triggered I'll feel okay , and AND I did the whole group without taking any Diaz !! which is good :) Oh and Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou Felicia for your PM , I was really touched that you wrote it *Huge Hugs*
How are you Felicia?

Is this hurting ever going to end?

*Hugs Helen* It will end , really it will even though it seems like it's permanent it will subside *Squishes Helen Tons*

*hugs Mark* Thanks for that x

*cuddles helen tight* it will end hun. things will have to get better and turn around eventually. PM box is always open if you need to talk.

*hugs mark* i'm glad that your group was better this time! well done on not taking any diaz!

*hugs sarah and felicia* how are both of you?

*Hugs Laura* Thanks :) How are you today ?

*cuddles Laura tight* Just want it to end now though. So sick of it. She's not even worth it :( Thanks for the PM offer xx

*cuddles wardies* I feel bad today health wise :( however I got a new book so I'm happy

Hope you're all okay, I won't be about much tonight but my thoughts are with you all x

*hides*

i cant do this....i dont want to have to think and feel anymore, i dont! i can't handle it, my head hurts where there so much going on in there, so much pain, i dont want it! i dont wanna fight this anymore! please..........?
*cries*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Nicole tight*

*Hugs Sarah*What book do you have? :)

Well I forced myself out of bed at 11am , Such an effort *sigh* My parents are coming to town for lunch and are picking me up , why is it so hard to get up at a reasonable time ? depression and sedative meds I know :(

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Lindsay*How are you ?

I'm a bit low today. I ended up telling my team leader that I don't think I can be assistant team leader any more, or do anything in life, and that I want to die. She said that I am great in the role and that I need to speak to people about wanting to die. I do. They just overlook it because they're so used to me feeling that way.

How has your day been, Mark?

*hugs lindsay, mark, nicole, sarah, helen, and everyone else* sorry its not more.

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry you feel so low

*Hugs Laura* How are you?

I spent the afternoon in bed after only getting up at 11am and back to bed at 2pm hmmfp , Triggered:(

Ive been better Mark.

Sorry that you are so triggered today. Here if you want to talk.

*cuddles everyone* Today my mum has been a douche with me, being so intentionally hurtful and spiteful and such. She slapped me when we were just joking about, and she insulted my fiance, thank god she doesn't know we're engaged. Now I feel just terrible but I know there's no way out until next year and, well, ugh. Just so upset and angry right now ><

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry your Mum is being so awful to you :(

*hugs anyone who wants*
sorry am useless atm :/
ergh, i realised i have ONE friend irl... god im pathetic =s
see, no one like me 'less they gonna feel guilty if do bad stuff =s
should go eat lunch but i already had crap for breakfast that adds up to cal amount that not scary and GAH.
and have so much to do next week but no energy and i only have an a in one of my 3 classes and =[

I just want to sleep already , I've no motivation , none whatsoever ,I just want to sleep so I'll not feel low but it's ridiculous , I wasn't up untill 11am and was in bed in the afternoon *Sigh* sorry to moan :(

*Hugs Heather *

Well , yet again I've had it with feeling low today so I'm off for a (very) early night , I hope tomorrow is a good day for us all :)
*Hugs my wardies*

Hey all.

*Hugs everyone*

I've just been watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince :'( Dumbledore.

*lays down on the floor*
Can we paint the roof with little constellations so I have other stuff to think of?
How is everyone else?
*hugs everyone that comes by*

That'd be lovely. I have a swirling picture made of the first 400 decimal places of Pi on my ceiling to stare at to take my mind of reality.

Feeling terrible, my joints are agony, had to use my stick again today I was that bad :(

I just want to disappear. Losing hope that anything will ever feel any better. I tell people that it will get better all the time... what a hypocritical loser i am.

crimson - painting sounds nice. *hugs*

*hugs sarah and mark too*

*huggles everybody*

The stuff I need for my suicide plan has now arrived at my house. I'm struggling because I know logically that I need to destroy or throw it away, but I can't. I haven't yet spoken to my housemate about it and it's making me uneasy. ...

I spoke to my housemate about the urge/desire to run away the night before last and he was hugging me when I started to talk about it, and then he pulled away from me. When he did I thought two things: firstly, that I had upset him; and secondly, that he was abandoning me. I guess that probably seems really stupid but I sort of feel like I'm fighting this battle completely on my own.

I spoke to my psychiatrist yesterday about the running away part and he said that he thinks it's because of an OCD type reaction to my being unwell physically and it will just disappear in the next 10 days or so. I don't know why but that doesn't feel right. I don't think that my housemate is convinced that is the answer either. Still, the psychiatrist is going to see me again in two weeks and we'll see what happens then.

I don't know what it is but all these psych doctors like to assume that I have some form of OCD. *sigh*

*Hugs Lia* How are you , Is the half blood prince the latest one ?

*Hugs Crimson*Constellations ! Thats a great idea :) How are you?

*Hugs Kahlia* PLease please have that talk with your house mate , You REALLY need to get rid of as much of that stuff as you can :S

*Hugs Laura*You're NOT a loser , you really help us here and we are all struggling at one time or another so you're not hypocritical either .

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry you're in so much pain :(

I'm tired , I feel low low low , I could play my new Playstation game I got second hand but am daunted by learning the controls, I might just try and sleep just for an hour or so , I'm pretty triggered to cut AND drink and I know I can't drink so...... I'll try not to cut.
I hope everyone else is doing okay :)

*snuggles Mark* I feel a little better today, didn't sleep too great though.

*hugs Laura* you are not a loser, or hypocritical at all

*cuddles Kahlia* you need to get rid of that stuff and chat with your housemate hun

*cuddles Lia and Crimson* :)

*Huggles Sarah*

Had my family doing more moaning at me today. Bleh at them. Kinda stopped caring what they think now :/

I'm sorry I'm so quiet here today , I'm low , Trying to work up the motivation to try my new game but I've got none , motivation that is :(

*hugs Mark* I'm sorry you're so low.

I conquered social anxiety and went to a haunted house type thing AND a party. I'm hiding for the rest of the weekend.

Thanks Felicia :) *Hugs* Way to go you ! conquering your social anxiety and doing Halloween type things :D

Thanks. There's 2 more parties tonight, but I don't know the hosts, so I'm not going.

You would be partied out if you went to all these shindigs :) .

*hugs Mark* Hope you're okay

*cuddles Felicia* wow, I'm impressed :)

Go Felicia!

*cuddles Sarah and Lindsay*

Hayley texted me this evening , She is Missing Eoghan who is away( Read deployed I think ) She is okay and feels guilty for not being a great friend , and I told her that she needed to take care of herself first and foremost . She has no energy, she orders her food online once a week but that all she can manage online right now .

*hugs ward*

Thanks for the update about Hayley. Will you let her know we're all thinking of her? I know I am anyway. She's not a bad wardie/friend & needs to take care of herself.

i have to get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow at the hospital and i dont wanna