*hugs Mark* I'm a little upset. I'm going away with the Prince's Trust next week, the last time I tried to go my Dad died so i've been thinking about him a lot.

How are you, Mark?

Damn, this thread moves fast! Can only get online once or twice a day which looks like ancient history now.
Thanks for the support, Mark. I'd love to talk but feel like my mouth (and head) is stuffed with cotton wool. I need sleeeeep. Haven't slept properly for almost 2 weeks. Hope you didn't get wet going out earlier.
Ryuu - hope you're safe. Sorry you've been so let down.
April - good luck with the training!

*Hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling so fragile Lindsay , what are you doing with the prices trust?
I met with Becky ( my befriender for people with mental illness) today , sort of got ALL that has happened this week off my chest over coffee/at her office , so that was cathartic I think , Now I've got the weekend all by myself which is scary but I have already got the first 4 and have bought cheap on ebay the other three "Night of the Living Dead" Movies so it's a Zombie weekend to take my mind off stress , oh and I'm going to a fair trade fair with my sister , bro in law and baby neice tomorrow :) Sorry blurted lots out.

*Hugs Sefka* sorry that you're head is cotton wooly :S Have you an Camomille Tea? thats calming , maybe help you sleep , Or sprinkle Lavender oil on your pillow thats soothing I think.

*hugs april* i'm sure you'll do great at your job! I am always terrified the first few days/weeks of starting a new job as well, but I know you can make it threw those feeling.

*hugs mark* glad that things with becky went well. and wow! you really are going to have a zombie weekend lol. Have fun with your sister and her family at the trade fair.

*hugs helen* How r u doing? excited? I'm glad that you got your hearing aids sorted out yesterday. That must be a huge relief.

*hugs kahlia* good job on finishing (or almost finishing) your uni paper! And im glad that the computer should be less to fix than originally thought.

*hugs RYUU* I'm sorry your doctor was not helpful. Mark is right though, you can fight this. Hang in there, don't listen to the devil, he is not right in the least.

*hugs sefka* i'm sorry your head is feeling clogged and that your not sleeping well.. Yea, this place can move pretty fast. Its hard to keep up sometimes.

*hugs lindsay* i'm sorry you are feeling upset. Here if you need to talk.

Not doing well. Fought back tears all last night at work... and was then told I am design editor on sunday, which is a huge honor since the real editor is not going to be there... but that means it interferes with another meeting I have with the magazine I am web editor for, and I still need to break into that group... i am kind of an outsider there. So much so that they are ignoring my emails completely when deciding when meetings are... I told them I work at the newspaper sunday, wednesday, and thursday night... and the next email I get is a mass email that says "So from the messages I recieved thursdays don't work for people. how about sunday?" This is a technology publicity meeting... I am the web editor.. i think of all people i should be there. Anyway, some people are just annoying me like that. Sorry for the rant.

*Hugs Laura* I hope you can sort out all those meetings , it sounds rather confusing :S

*hugs mark* its not that confusing to me.. it probably was all typed out like that though... sorry. For me, its more that people are not listening to me or taking me into any sort of consideration, which really bothers me as I am part of the staff.

They should take you into consideration Laura Yes .

Hmmm.... I'm starting to get urges , haven't thought about S.I. all day until this last hour or so I think ,I'm not sure how to deal with this . bed? maybe at 9pm. Divert attention by typing this ? yep . Listen to / watch music channel on the T.V.? yep hmm, think boy , think!

Mark, do all of those things. You've resistted the urges until now and think of the victory you feel when you manage to go a whole day without harming. :) *Hugs*

To those who've I'm not doing too great. But I am excited about Monday & I am relieved about my hearing aids.

OOh yeah Lia I've put on the golf , I find golf on T.V. calming for some reason , it's nice and green heh *Hugs* How are you this evening?

Helen , Monday is the Day you get to catch up with your bestie?, Whats up tonight thats making you low?

It is =) I can't wait. *squeals*

Oh just this silly bitch who's kicking up because I finally realised what a huge massive liar she is.

*Hugs Helen* I hope you're ok. Have fun on Monday :)

:) That's great Mark. If you're also in the UK, 2 hours and 35 minutes to go until you've made it all day.

I'm alrightish. One of my best friends isn't though and she was suidical and now she's not replying to my texts...

Lia, I'll be okay. I'm sorry to hear that about your best friends, hope she'll be ok. I'm sure she will. My bestie gets quite suicidal and can shut down on me sometimes but she battles through it. Hope she gets in contact soon *hugs tight*

I now have two people who are pratically suicidal on me. I haven't cut for weeks and am starting to feel very triggered...I wish I hadn't said anything the other day, about my suspisions of something that might have happened. I shouldn't have done and everything's just...blurgh.

Ah, today I feel terrible. Back pain, gallbladder playing up and I feel really down and triggered over nothing. :(

*cuddles everyone* dont know how much i'll be around the next few days... its homecoming weekend at uni and so i'm super busy. However, i will be keeping all of you in mind and hope you are okay.

Just didn't want to worry anyone by now being around when i keep posting that im struggling. I always seem to make it through so... just plan on it being fine as always.

Hope everyone has a good weekend if I don't sign back in at all until monday!
<3

sneaks in and curls up hoping no one see me. erm hello lia ?

Hello...

*hugs all*
I caught the next round of sickness going around uni. My throat hurts, my ears hurt, my head hurts. So I'm drinking hot tea and hopefully sleeping soon.
I'll do individuals as soon as I feel good.

erm hello lia

You can see me.

I gave into the urges btw. If anybody cares.

of course i can see you hun. hugs you tightly we care hun.

lia are you okay? erm im feeling very triggered and pissed off tonight. just want to argh i dont know sorry

Lia, hon, I hope you're okay. :( And we DO care. *cuddles*

Jill, what's up, love? what do you want to do? *hugs gently*

Felicia, I hope that you feel better soon!!! Yuck for rounds of illness... :( *germ-avoidant hugs ;)*

*cuddles everyone else*

Sorry not been about today much... went to my parents' again. Anyone here ever heard of the author Jenni Schaefer? Just wondering... :)

*hides in the warren where no one can find her*

I'm fine.

What's the matter Jill? *Hugs* Please try to stay safe.

cuddles lia amd april. im sorru you guys dont need this sorry. damn that took so much effory,sorry cant s[ell tonight

It's alright Jill, you can always talk to us. You can beat the urges. I know you can. You've done it before and you can do it now. Don't make me refuse to let go again.

erm ho;ding me might be a good idra right now. sorry spe;;ing sucks. if okay please domt go unless yoi have too, dann it its taking alot of effort just to type this out. sorry

Ok. *Clings to Jill so she can't move.* You can do this. I know you can.

*Hugs April* Hope you're alright.

sorry being stuiped very stuiped. its okay forget i said that

Of course I will Jill. Are you off to bed now then? Just imagine me lurking in the corner, making sure you're safe. It's OK to be scared Jill. I am. So scared.

For you Jill.

thanks lia. yeah need to get up in five hours and face the day. scared of that, if i had my way i wouldnt wake up. sorry but i dont so i guess i have to.goodnight thanks for tonight it helped heaps. hugs you tightly. cuddles julie too

thanks lia, that made me smile and cry good tears. made me feel alot safer.

*Massive hugs* It's alright Jill. I'm glad I could help. Goodnight. I love you. xx

hugs lia tightly. love you too girly.

erm feeling really shitty this morning, up way to early for a sat, 6.30am. my face and head are killing me this morning. really dont want to face today, but i have to i guess. curls up and trys to shut out the world .sorry guys

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs April* Nope not heard of her ..... what does she write about?

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs al my other wardies*

im fed up of being alone, fed up of being here in this world, i dunno what to do... sometime im in a room feeled with people but yet it like im invisible to all of them and im alone.... i just want to belong i just want someone to think about me when they wake eup in the morning... to wonder if im ok today and if im still around... i dunno i just want to mean something to someone i guess.. i dunno what im talking about so im just gonna curl up in the corner and leave everyone alone....
Sorry hides away...
Hope everyone is okish and doing alrite...
hugs for everyone who wants them....

*Hugs LJ*

Cuddle all, erm really feel crap today, just want to curl up and hide. this sucks.

*Squishes Jill*

*Hugs Jill* Do you want to talk about it honey?

The devil is telling me that i must cut i feel like i need to cut

*Hugs RYUU* You can beat the devil. You have done so many times before.

*Hugs Ryuu* Lia is right , you don't have to listen to the devil .

*Hugs Lia* How are you today Lia?

*hugs LJ*
*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Ryuu*
*hugs Mark and Lia* How are you two today?

In addition to listening to sappy romantic show tunes which make me sad, I also sound like this:*cough. coughcough. coughcoughcough. sputter... ugh... smack (as I try to lie down again and smack my head against the headboard)*
I also have 800+ pages to read this weekend. Have I started? No... not at all.

*Hugs Mark and Felcia*

Have fun with those 800 pages Felicia.

I'm fine thanks Mark. How are you today?