Sorry, I'm sorry. Fu*ksake please please let this get better or at least easer cause this is ripping our family apart. I don't want my mum to that point were she gets depressed and wants to kill herself. Please god, please help I need my mum.sits I'm corner rocks back and forth.

Just really low Alex, hating it. I'll be okay eventually...

*hugs Hels* sorry your feeling so low

Should get used to it really *hugs*

*huggles everybody* Sorry it isn't more. :-(

*hugs helen, crimson, oliver, mark, jill, luke, felicia, april, kahlia, and everyone else*

I wish i had something to say. Wish I could make things better for everyone.

*sets out extra special cuddle box for everyone in case anyone needs one*

Oh and those who asked... nothing is up with me, nothing ever is. going back to my hometown in a few days again. I should've just followed through with my plan from last time i was there. but I wont b/c I never do.

*sits in the corner, rocks, & cries*

Sorry no individuals right now...

*gives extra tight hugs to april and kahlia*

well if today doesn't just look like a **** day for us all...
*hugs everyone*

*locks self in padded cell, sits on floor, back against the wall and begins repeatedly hitting the wall with her head* why? why not. might shake this stupid illness out of my head. I dont know if i can take it much more. My mind is running so fast. I can't stop it to catch a thought. This might not make much sense. Nothing ever does. I dont know why I'm writing. Why are we writing. everything is wrong. always wrong. and always when i'm low, hazel wakes constantly.

hi i bes bak =) i bes Sarah an I is 6.
we nervis bout hosptl. hops michel wil tak us evn tho it hard for him to go hosptl.
Hiding gonna bring my mikey bare teddybares wif us.

we reeli hop drs let us kep him wif us if we has sta nite ther, if not ten tings will bes reeli reeli worser.

Sarah

*hugs everyone*
I would reply individually, but I am *this* close to giving up, and I just can't.

im sure the doctor will let you keep him there sarah, im sure they want you to feel as comfortable as possible <3 plus, maybe take one of your tiny teddies in pocket if will make feel more comfortable?
:)

*huggles everybody*

My arm is not good .... getting scared about it.
Getting work done which is good, but really struggling mental-wise.
Really want to just give in.

*curls up*

*offers cuddles*
i dont have any advice at the moment, but take care <3

I just had a dream about some of the wardies here... totally weird... got up because of that and I had to go to the bathroom, hah, and decided to stay up. It's 5:18 in the freaking morning, and I was up at five!! >:( Gonna be super tired today... guess it's a good thing I don't have anything planned. >_<

On WoW my pally dinged 20 last night - that's 3 levels in one day, ahaha - and it only took me a total of 6 days to do it. But that's with a lot of guild chatting and mining along the way... /played (the total time that you've played your toon) was probably under a (total) time of 24 hours. So two really long days (12 hour days) spent playing, I can get a toon to 20!! :P (And yes, people DO play for that long & longer!! heh... One of my guildies from my guild on Silvermoon spent two 18-hour days playing when one of the last expansions came out >_<...)

Anyway. So I'm happy about that. And hanging in there otherwise, using WoW as a distraction I guess... also got to see my bestie last night.

Sorry no individuals, I will try to do them later, promise!!! ♥ *cuddles all*

Glad you're doing ok April.

Huggles everybody. Hmm feeling very stressed and worried, need somthing to get rid of the stress. But I no idea were my tool is. Damn it.

*Hugs Felicia , April, Kahlia , Jill , Lindsay,Heather,Hiding,Kat,Crimson,Laura,Oliver,He len and everyone else*

No Appointments today , I totally stayed in bed too long :S, I'm struggling so hard to get out of bed let alone to do anything productive , Depression eh :S?

yeah sarah has some tint stuffies that she keeps in our purse.. so those willbe going with us to
Hiding

*huggles everybody*
Wish it could be more . . .

*Hugs Kahlia* How are you doing?

Fu*ksake what the hell I wanted Friday to hurry up and get here, now I just want to hide. Urgh can someone please kill me now.

*cuddles all*

We can't kill you Jill. What's up sweetheart?

we gos to ER tonite. i scard. i taks mikeybares wif me. hops tey let me keps him wif me. sadie tak book to reed us wen we need be calm .. hops it bes good book. an hiding bes sur to tak are jornil to.. we nevrs go dr or werk witout it.

i jus bes scard..we all scard i tink. cept sadie her never reeli scard just mad al tim.

i hops we no hav spen nite ther but mayb do has to. =/ not kno yet.
i rafr sta heer.

i scard lots.
Sarah

Aww Sarah , I'm sure you will be fine and nothing bad will happen at the ER, It's a good idea to bring a book to help keep you calm , I hope it's a good book too :D ,and Hiding brings her journal with her too thats good .
Good Luck! :)

I went to Morrisons but it was so crowded I had a Panic attack and just dropped my stuff and left :( so I headed to Aldis because thats always quieter ( After I was calmer) and got in the queue for paying and left my shopping on the conveyor belt to grab some crisps I saw and I was gone 15 seconds and this stupid ****ing guy had just threw all my shopping aside and took my space so I royally freaked out and walked as fast as I could to my flat and took a diaz but was SO triggered I c*t :S and I want to again , Come on Diaz kick in! I've been taking it daily recently and think I am getting used to it in my body so I need more.

I only needed my meds they screwed up yesterday so at least I got them.

Argg!! Triggered feeling go away !!

Sorry

*walks in and hugs everyone.*
sorry you're feeling so bad mark. *extra hugs.*

i had a really great time but am now majorly tired! but am so glad i went, even though i had so many panick attacks its unbeleivable. and i smoked so much. i went from smoking 4-5 a day, to smoking 20 a day :/ but had a great time and made a lot of friends. hows everyone else doing?

OOh Nicole I glad you had a great time !! Be carefull with the smokes though okay?

^ I just re-read that about the smoking and it sounds patronising but I really didn't mean it to just a little concerned about it lol , please don't be offended

thanks. it didnt sound patronising lol, and dw i dont normally smoke so much, think i was just really triggerd and panicky and stuff. nearly had a car crash on the way back though :/ i was trying to radically accept it lol. didnt work too well! i spent most of the trip sucking my thumb as i have a major fear of heights and most things were high, although i made it to the top of the 37ft absailing tower, then walked back down the stairs XD but one of our group leaders kept pressuring me and i wanted to push her off! lol.

*huggles everyone*

For some strange reason I feel like singing Goodnight Sweetheart -Well it's 3 o'clock in the morning . . . It almost is, so I guess that could be why. I've tried to sleep and I just can't. I'm probably not really going to try to again, because otherwise I'll just wake at 7 in a bad mood, or struggle to wake, which will be just as bad. I just wish I knew what was going on . . . It could just be the significance of tomorrow, but I don't know. *shrugs*

I guess that we just take it as it comes.

*hugs everyone* sorry again that its not more. I suck right now I know.

Couldn't sleep until like 4am... Now just feeling flat. Remembering/thinking about a lot of things.

I'll try to reply individually later tonight.

Wow Nicole 37ft!! Thats really brave of you:) you should have shoved her off lol ( fully harrnessed of course )

*Hugs Kahlia* Hmmm it sucks that you can't sleep , do you have any camomillie tea , that could help maybe ? sorry for the lame idea .

*Hugs Laura*I'm sorry you didn't sleep until late , try not to dwell on negative thoughts if you can , easier said than done I know hmmm

Thanks for the hugs helen how are you today any better?
Huggles everybody else. Sorry just a bad day that's got worse, I'm really damn angery right now. Just heard somthing hat so messed up, and I'm in shock how the hell can they get away with and why the hell are we even trying in my real life. Sorry might not make any sence.

thanks mark, it was f*cking scary! but its only 2 at a time and andy took me up so i couldnt push her lol. needing a ciggarette but dont have any :(

I'm not tired but I'm heading to bed . I may well S.I. if I stay up and I am feeling Low/Flat , I realise its early but I really can't think of what would be better for me than sleep.

"Asleep is the safest place you can be"

*Hugs ward goodnight*

*cuddles all*

*cuddles all then goes back to her cell*

hey

just wanted to drop in and say hi,and give hugs and positive thoughts to you all.

i feel slowly but surely life is staing to turn, its by no means back to normal but i feel i am a step closer than i was yesterday.

*comes out of her cell* *waves at messedup* hi, I dont think i've met you before, i'm Kat.

*glomps helen*

Hey Kat *waves*

i'm Beki

nice to meet you hun :)

Nice to meet you too Beki, shame it had to be in here. *offers you a brown bag* calorie/fat free marshmellow?

*hugs everyone*
I'm sorry I'm not around so much... feeling really low.
However, I did get pointed into a possible treatment option. It's Christian run, which scares me, but it is free and I have a friend who went there and says it's great and she is a lot better, so I'm researching a bit...

*hugs everyone* how are you all today. sorry i went offlline so suddenly last night, was so tired i was asleep by 8.30!

Oh Felicia, I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you with those links!! :( I feel so bad now as I JUST remembered it... damn it, I'm awful with keeping up with PMs & such... :'( http://www.mercyministries.com is one, then search also for Vision of Hope (VOH) and A Friend's House (AFH). The last 2 are both in Indiana. :) So sorry!!! :-O

Am really embarrassed now... *hides in deepest darkest corner* :(

*hugs everyone tight*

Just touching base, and clinging desperately to the links I have here, albeit I have made no effort of late.

*Hugs JK* Hmm sorry you are struggling , I have missed you loads on here :)

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Kat*

*Hugs Beki*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs April*

*cuddles everyone and gives JK a biiig hug*

awww shanks Helen, hope you doing ok.

oops, and huggles Mark, sorry another page went through. Thanks hun, hope you ok

Not really but trying to hang in there & you're welcome xx