tank you evribodi
yeh can we al hid togefr? can i bring my blankee to hid undr an my mikey bare to?

i wana snugls cuz we no fels saf. non of us fels saf.. evn sadie an hers is strong on.
Sarah

Hi everyone, back from my weekend.

*offers welcome cookies to the new people* i'm laura.

*cuddles everyone tight* I'm sorry, there have been several pages since i left town on friday morning so i can't do individual replies, I have read though and am thinking of all of you.

PM box is always open should anyone want.

*avoids the how are you question by hiding in a long forgotten corner*

*Hugs Laura* Okay I won't ask THAT question , but I hope you're well and it's nice to have you back :)

*cuddles Laura, Beki, Mark, Sarah if she can accept hugs, Felicia, & Jill*

Sorry, no individuals right now - but Felicia, wanted to say, that Jarrod's the same way (kind of). Guys - our significant others in particular - want to be able to fix us, and when they can't they get frustrated. Sometimes this comes out in anger. Jarrod's mostly over getting angry at me; now he just gets frustrated. He knows he can't fix me and that I have to fix myself, mostly, so yeah... that's basically all the "marriage counselor" in me has to say on that, hah. :-S *extra hugs*

Guhh, I need to relax... am so anxious right now. :(

*cuddles all then resumes hiding & crying*

Sorry.

*hugs mark* thanks. Hope you are okay too.

*hugs april* im sorry that you are so anxious right now. Hope you are able to relax soon.

*cuddles helen* you don't need to be sorry hun. PM me if you want too.

*hugs Laura back* I do. I need to stop taking up space here :)

*hugs helen* you don't just take up space, we like having you here. Plus, you've been here longer than almost everyone else - You deserve to take up a lot of space :-)
Im sorry that you are struggling so much though.

*hugs Laura* Thanks darling...I suppose you're right:/

can i come in?

^ Course xx

*cuddles Hels* I agree with Laura. :)

*cuddles Laura & Louise & everyone else* Of course you can come in, Louise. :) How are you doing??

I'm a little less anxious now although VERY warm, as the room that the comps are in is the warmest one in the house. :( Ughhh.

So tired. Just want to go to bed. :( Jarrod goes back to work tomorrow so I have a feeling I'll be on here a LOT more.

*hides in the warren and cries too*

Thanks I am not feeling so good

*cuddles everyone*

Aw, I'm sorry, Louise... is there anything we can do?? *gentle hugs*

my step mum erm was horrible to me today

Aw sweetie, that's awful. :( What happened? (if you want to talk about it, that is - if not, that's okay too) Wish I had more to offer but... *more gentle hugs and a box of tissues in case you need to cry*

*cuddles April & Louise lots*

Sorry it's not more.

i'm rubbish with names so i'm sorry but *hugs for all who need them (quite a few of us right now)*

I'm scared about tomorrow :(

*hugs all*

Helen you don't take up space, everyone is a great individual person in here, so eveyrone is welcome and no one is taking up any soace.

whats happening tomorrow Becki? *hugs*

*hugs* Louise, I'm sorry your step mum was horrible to you. you can talk abouut it in here if you want

*hugs April* I'm sorry your anxious and sorry Jarrod has been getting angry.

i'm seeing my OT. i'd prefer to be seeing my psych, GP or CPn but no, i get stuck with my OT. I have no idea what she can do for me but i'm not in a good place, and i need her to understand how much i am struggling. I'm scared cos my BPD means they don't like to give me "too much" support but i am in desperate need of intervention right now.

*huggles all*

*big hugs* to all who are struggling right now. Sorry it can't be more. Also sorry for the lack of individual replies - 4 pages since I was last in here.

Hels: *cuddles* Well done on your 5(?) months sweetness. - Sorry, memory isn't working too well this morning.

*leaves cuddles and safe love and care packages on the table*
*disappears out into the garden to play with Puppy SinClair*

my step she was swearing and even hit me

i'm sorry she did that hun, she had no right too :( how are you feeling now? are you safe away from her?

oh yes and congrats to Kahlia and Hels for great acheivements of sh free months.

*hugs Louise* I'm sorry that happened.

*hugs Beki* I hope your OT can do something that can help, I don't really know what all the different people can do, but I hope they ca do something

i'm in my bedroom, but fragile

Kahlia, yes it is 5 months. *cuddles*
Oliver, thank you.
Everyone else, keep hanging in there.

I can't stop crying & the people I'm crying over, are so not worth this...It ****ing hurts.

*cuddles everyone*

I'm so fed up with this.



I'm so sick of life. I really am. So damn over it all. :'(

Sorry no individuals tonight. :(

Oh, & I wanted to say congrats to both Kahlia & Hels for making it so far in SI recovery!!! Awesome, both of you. *claps & cuddles*

*hides in a hole for awhile and cries softly*

*joins and cuddles April*

*cuddles April and Hels*

*cuddles Oliver & Hels* Sorry for the rant... :(

rant away April, sorry I havn't read it though, cos of what you hid it for, but *cuddles*

*cuddles you both*

yeah sarah and love hugs..sadie is another story tho lol

sarah says thank you.

so worried about tomorrows eval. with drs.
took a xanax so things seem pretty quiet/calm right now.
hopefully can sleep some tonight.
lots of worries and anxieties over tomorrow but right now the xanax seems to be supressing it some.

Sadie did very good tonight. she got urges to SH cause panic and all was too much earlier but she didnt...think she knows if she did that it would def result with us staying in hospital . which we dont want.
im proud of her. lol she is making gag sounds at me for saying that hehe
Hiding

*hugs hiding(if ok)*
I'm glad Sarah didnt SH, you should be proud of her. I hope your appt with the dr goes well tomorrow, anxiety is horrible.
Also dont think I have properly said hi yet, I apologise if i had, I'm Oliver.

hi oliver..
it isnt sarah that SIs its Sadie.. too many S names ..its ok lol
thanks for the hug and support and understanding *hugs back*
Hiding

*hugs Hiding*
I'm sorry I got the wrong name, I'm glad Sadie didn't SH then, sorry again.

Wow, we've been really quiet overnight, last post was nearly 7 hours ago. Hope everyone is okay as can be, I know we're/most are struggling.

*cuddles all if okay*

*huggles/waves at everybody*

Very cold right now.
Anxiety through the roof.
Getting frustrated easily too.
Meh.
So.damn.over.it.all.

Sorry for the lack of individual replies.

*leaves hugs and safe love and care packages for all on the table*

*Hugs Everyone*
I'm tired , struggled to get out of bed ugh :(
I have to meet my Psych Dr on Thursday at 2pm , My SW will be there and will have either told him about my Sui plan or will want me to tell him :( , I'm so worried and anxious :S In the morning my Nurse is taking me to a befriending place for people with severe mental health issues , not sure I qualify but hey, Thats making me anxious too , My nurse thinks I need to get out more and get more friends , I don't have many IRL , sorry .

*cuddles all*

Mark, love, what are you apologizing for? There's no need to be sorry. *gentle cuddles* I hope that you do make new friends there - I don't have many IRL either. Depends on what they say is "severe mental illness." Hmmm. Well, I do hope that it goes well though - keep us updated, 'kay? oh, and when is it that you're going? is it today?

Kahlia, I hope that things look up for you soon. :( Am sorry that you're still struggling so much... is there anything I/we can do to help?? :( I feel so helpless... for all of you... *gentle cuddles*

Hels, how are you, sweet? did you sleep okay last night after we chatted? Hope so. I know I sure did, despite dreams, hah. I didn't even wake up when Jarrod got up for work. O.o And I always used to. Guess that's an improvement, lol, one which lets me sleep for about an hour longer than he does in the mornings. :P *cuddles*

I'm still exhausted, though. And a friend of mine convinced me to apply for a job today - as a dog trainer at a local pet store (chain). I doubt I'll get in/be good enough, if they even still have the ad up. >_< Stupid me if they don't. Anyway, I do have experience, used to do a lot of dog training and shows through 4-H... so yeah. But as that was years ago, I don't know if it will still qualify as "experience." :-S I was only 10-15 at the time... hah. :-X

So Jarrod went back to work today... guhhh... gonna have to figure out what to do here without him. It's going to be difficult, unless I do get that job. Then I'll be busy as all get out!! :P And I will also feel a little more useful, bringing in extra cash & all of that. :) So that would be nice. I know it's not really using my college degree - heck, you don't even need a high school diploma to do this job - but oh well. Hah. As I said, though, I doubt I'll get it.

*hides in a deep deep hole* :(

April , The befriending Appointment is on Thursday Morning and the Psych Dr appointment is on Thursday Afternoon , I'm just getting anxious in advance heh ,still I'm STILL numb so the anxiety is copeable with for now , not ideal situation though :S

Good luck with getting the dog training job !! *Hugs*

oh and whats 4-H?

Ah okay, that makes sense now. :) Well, best of luck at both!!! *cuddles*

4-H is a group for boys & girls ages 8-18 that does a variety of different "stuff" ... like dog obedience, goat/sheep/rabbit/dog/horse/cow shows, sewing, spinning, knitting, basket-weaving, entomology (study of insects - loved that one!! I still have 2 old insect collections hanging in my parents' house), orienteering (finding your way through an area with the use of a compass, etc.), forestry, etc., etc., etc... I could go on & on, hehe. There's also summer camp that's for a week every June, which I did for about 8 years. Was a camper, "CAT" (counselor-at-training), then a counselor for a few years. :) It was a lotttt of fun and I really miss it. :(

Anyway. That's what 4-H is, summed up. :)

*hides & cries a little* I just... am so tired, and lonely, but even Jarrod being here wouldn't help me feel "un-lonely" ... it would just make it better for a little while. But not entirely better, never entirely better... :(

I'm not 100% how I am. But I do know for a third day running, my mouth or cheek or whatever's sore is STILL hurting me. I did sleep okay but took until after 3am to get me to sleep. *grumbles* Glad you didn't wake when Jarrod did. Dreams suck aha!! I can't remember mine from this morning but can from Saturday night's. Well not AS well obviously.

Cuddles everyone. Hmm today's a bit of a weird one, feeling tierd not a great night last night. So feeling tierd also a bit sick, hmm got to head out and try and get a pair of dress trousers for my bros wedding in 4 weeks, it's not helping that I feel low with all the stuff going on, plus I got a very low opioion of myself and seeing all my bumps and stuff isn't helping meh, just want to curl up and die. =(

*cuddles Hels & Jill* Sorry it's not more...

I applied for the dog trainer job... I'm scared now. :-S I had to take an 89-question-long assessment, some about me & some about how I'd handle certain situations when/if they came up in a retail/business setting. I hope I did okay on that. :-S I also hope that I'd be ready to have a job like that one... really hope I'd be ready. :(

I also did my therapy homework, which wasn't too bad although I couldn't think of much for one part of it... I have therapy later today, didn't at all last week and I'm not sure how I feel about that. :-X We'll see how today goes.

Also, am trying to level my little level 58 death knight (on Bronzebeard-US) a bit before she goes to Outlands, because I hate hate HATE starting in Outlands at level 58. Your toon is undergeared, doesn't have "enough" health for me to be comfortable with it, etc., etc., etc. :( I wanted to try & do some dailies to get a Winterspring tiger... but no one who is on currently in my guild is responding to my question about where to find the guy that starts off the dailies. ARGH. Sorry if that made no sense to any of you, hah... :(

I'm so tired. So tired of everything - of life, of my mind, of EVERYTHING. I just want to sleep away my day(s). Sadly, that "ain't gonna happen." :(

*hides in her hole again*

After show slump...
My fiance gave up on me and we are on "a break"
I cannot handle this.
I'm watching What Not to Wear and trying to distract myself.

*hugs to all* hopefully I'll feel up to individuals later. I may go start a photo thread for Midsummer.

I'm sorry you had a fight Felicia *Hugs*

That must be really hard for you hun :indifferent: in a similar situation, the best you can do is keep doing stuff to distract youself, and make sure you look after your self.

*hugs to all*

*hides a bit*

Sorry guys, I could only focus through the first page and a half and it's been 7 pages since I was on...
*waves at new wardies* I'm Crimson
*huggles everyone and hopes everyone is well*