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Scarletdreamer 02-06-2010 11:03 PM

Gahh am so tired... *hides in an a/c'd hole and types from there* ...just got back a little while ago from a mini Relay for Life held at the middle school in the town I'm working. I got so sunburnt and hot and melty, and I'm really dehydrated now (working on rehydrating but it's so effing hard to drink fluid when you "feel full"!! even though I've had naught to eat since 2pmish)... gahhh. I almost passed out in the bathroom a bit ago, so freaking dizzy. It really sucks... and I'm so warm, I'm practically radiating heat. Gahhh. Sorry to whinge so much... :(

Hayley, glad you're feeling so much better!! How's WoW coming along? and how's Reggie? :D I want pics!! :) *cuddles*

Crimson *cuddles* How are you doing? how's WoW going for you? I missed you just the other day when I was on... :( you got off before I realized you were on!! Silly me.

Mark, Hels, Julie, Kahlia, JK, Kathryn, Kat, Taz, Nicole (wherever you are!!), Oliver (and wherever you are!!), and everyone I KNOW I'm forgetting... *cuddles all of you individually*

xxjuliexx 02-06-2010 11:04 PM

*stands and fans april*

risenfromperdition 02-06-2010 11:42 PM

*snuggles april*
*curls up* should eat dinner :/ dontwanna

Scarletdreamer 03-06-2010 12:24 AM

Ughhh... :( I feel crappy. I'm supposed to finish my bottle of water before bed, and I really don't know if I can. I guess I have to, because otherwise Jarrod said that it's "going ON the bed"... heh... I'm hoping he was joking but that amount of water is what I drink in a ****ing DAY, not two hours. :'(

I'm also falling behind with internship stuff on the uni side of things. I feel awful about that as I will be graded on how well I do the uni stuff for my internship, but it - my internship - keeps me sooo busy (or so it feels!!), and what I had to do on the uni side of it feels like it was explained sooo little, that I feel like I'm drowning. :'( (I know, a lot of "I feel" statements in there, sorry... :o)

I spy a Crimson!! :) *huggles*

*hides in the warren* :'(

Kahlia1981 03-06-2010 12:49 AM

Good morning wardmates!!

*huggles/waves everyone*

It's not quite as cold here this morning. We had some winter rain early this morning so we have quite a bit of cloud cover. It's starting to lift so my fingers are starting to get a bit cold. I've still got to do my morning routine, and I'd better do it soon, but we had some phone calls that we absolutely had to do.

When I first organised all my TAFE stuff I mentioned that they had for me an address and a phone number that I had never given them. My housemate is concerned that someone is trying to steal my identity so we have started to put things in place to ensure that I am protected. It's a bit scary to be honest.

*sigh* Sometimes it would be nice not to have these concerns . . .

wildly insane 03-06-2010 12:53 AM

*huggles for everyone*

Fingers crossed for Helen

Well I successfully managed two and a half days of meetings in Copenhagen, including talking for 5 hours on data flagging - I didn't know you could talk for 5 hours on data flagging but there you go. I then got home late on Thursday and had a job interview on Friday and I got it - whoop - have no idea how, now have to do the formal stuff, and not looking forward to handing in my notice, it's such a horrible thing to do, even though it's for my own good :P

Just been dancing - learnt my first ever argentine tango steps, that was cool, and off to bed

*sends positive vibes to everybody and wishes she could do individual replies but has missed too much over the last few days so gives out more cuddles to those who want them*

Scarletdreamer 03-06-2010 01:14 AM

updated r/v...................... :crying:

*hides where no one can spot her*

Kahlia1981 03-06-2010 01:44 AM

*huggles/waves at everybody then puts on a jumper*

Brrr. It's freezing here. Part way through the stuff I *have* to do today. Then I can get on with finishing up my assessment so that I can hopefully submit it today or tomorrow. It would be nice to have one subject sumitted within a week of beginning lol. I'm not obsessing over it though. I had such a crappy night last night. Didn't get to sleep until really late and then only crawled out of bed this morning because my phone wouldn't shut up. Meh.

Sorry I'm not up for individual replies at the moment but you are all in my thoughts. I just wanted to say though:
Hannah: Congratulations on the job. *throws confetti* (sorry just felt like it :-)) Well done.
April: I'm sorry I don't have words hun, all I can offer are *hugs* and a listening ear.

Scarletdreamer 03-06-2010 01:50 AM

i'm so fed up with myself. and i'm so tired. it's about time for bed and i've hardly drunk any of the water i need to have down me by the time it's time for bed. DAMNIT!!!! :'( i feel like such an epic fail... :crying:

i'm sorry.

make it all go away................... someone please........... :crying:

Scarletdreamer 03-06-2010 02:03 AM

updated r/v yet again... because i'm so lonely. in a room with jarrod but i don't feel like i can talk with him........ so stupid of me i know. :'(

*hides again* :crying:

risenfromperdition 03-06-2010 02:08 AM

*cuddles april* try and have a quarter of the bottle at a time so it doesnt make you so full or feel like so much?
<3

Scarletdreamer 03-06-2010 02:33 AM

i'm trying... i'm trying sooo hard. :crying:

i'm sorry.....

xxjuliexx 03-06-2010 02:57 AM

*sits in a box and eats lunch*

xxjuliexx 03-06-2010 07:34 AM

*sits waiting for people*i'm feeling all alone even tho my parents r just in the next room

Kitkat :) 03-06-2010 11:01 AM

Too damn nervous and anxious to try and sort out my enrolment for next year...
I can't seem to bring myself to knock on the door
:crying:
Why am I such a wimp?
:crying:

razey02 03-06-2010 11:18 AM

*just taking a blanky to go cuddle in the corner*

xxjuliexx 03-06-2010 11:24 AM

*tucks a fluffy snuggley blanket around razey02*

shadowedsoul 03-06-2010 11:43 AM

hmm I really don't want to do this today, don't think I can
handle another crap day at work. I feel sick just thinking
about it. Just want to curl up under my bedcovers and
stay there. Got some really stupid thoughts running
through my mind. Getting diffcult not to act on them.

xxjuliexx 03-06-2010 12:47 PM

*curls up small* i ate way way to much today :crying:

Doikers 03-06-2010 12:50 PM

*hugs Julie, Razey,KitKat, April, Hayley, Nicole ,Oliver ,Laura , Crimson , Kahlia, Heather,Hannah,Taz, Kat,Helen and anyone else I missed (Sorry)*

I JUST managed to crawl out of bed at gone 11am , SO Lazy , I feel so low , I really want to cut but I don't know where or how badly , and I know I shoulden't . I wish I wasn't so low I take my meds , so many meds and yet I still get S.I. and Sui thoughts, I coulden't tell my SW how badly I cut after my medical because he had a med student with him yesterday hmmm. I'm just pathetic , I don't deserve anything nice , I don't know how to feel happy , it just doesn't "happen" for me , I feel like I'm doomed to be depressed for good .

I read you R/V thread April *Extra hug*

Doikers 03-06-2010 01:01 PM

*Hugs Julie*

I've gotta pop out to the shop now if I want milk later , I don't wanna leave the flat. I just wanna crawl up unfer my blanket again .

*Leaves a selection box of hugs on the ward table for people to help themselves too*

xxjuliexx 03-06-2010 01:03 PM

*huggles marky*

Doikers 03-06-2010 01:52 PM

Congratulations on the new job Hannah! * New job Hug*

Doikers 03-06-2010 02:50 PM

So the post arrived today and a busyed myself upstairs so I woulden't have to face it , I worked up the nerve to go down and collect it and all I had was a letter from E-on , Heart sank , but I opened it and it's a bill for 45,55 , and it says it's my final gas bill , Can this be sorted out for real? , After all these months of being hassled and threatened ? I hope so :) Mind you I haven't had an apology or anything but thats just a peev of mine ,I 'm not gonna get into a whole big thing about an apology , if it's over I'm glad it's over

PoisonedApple 03-06-2010 05:55 PM

*cuddles Mark* I hope it is finally sorted. Seems things are picking up a bit in all our lives lately compared to the past few months. I hope everything stays sorted out for all of us.

*runs through the ward hugging everyone*
*forces self to finish bowl of cereal and runs down to the front desk*
I'll hop back in after I get back up here to my desk.

Doikers 03-06-2010 06:01 PM

*Spots a Helen and Hugs*

*Hugs Crimson*

PoisonedApple 03-06-2010 07:53 PM

Getting so slow in here lately... How is everyone today?

M and J n L are gonna be gone by the end of the weekend if all goes as planned :) now I just need to relearn how to cook for half the people I have been cooking for to save my fridge from a horrific amount of leftovers.

I am so tired today... I spent the last few days finishing off G's school with her so she got done on time (my fault for procrastinating the whole school year) and she finished her last class last night at midnight. Then I had to take a bath since I was covered in oil pastels, tempra paint and water color paints (not to mention the different kinds of paper and glue)... art was her last class obviously.so I didn't get to bed till 1ish after I set up my stuff for today to bring to work and writing the rent check. Then up at 620 to get ready and drop off the rent then to work. Might nap later but maybe not. If I don't nap maybe I'll be able to go to bed at a "reasonable" time. *shrugs n goes off to file stuff*

Doikers 03-06-2010 08:08 PM

OOh I bet you are looking forward to a quieter household Cromson:) I hope you sleep well an re-learn your cooking for a lesser amount of people , I bet you're pleased to have a less hectic place to live soon :)

Scarletdreamer 03-06-2010 08:12 PM

Where IS everyone?? :-/

Well, I found out today that the girl from my work that lives down the road from us (who also has the exact same anniversary!!) is selling a cello for maximum $500!!!!! I am so stoked... she told me that it has my name on it, I got to see it today and tune it, it's so beautiful........... I've wanted a cello for soo long and I've bugged and bothered Jarrod about it for forever... so she's going to research it to see how much it's worth now, and if she sells it for more than $500 I can pay her back in piano lessons (since I teach piano/violin/viola). EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *bounces ecstatically* I am SO EXCITED. This is perfect. :D

Sorry for the SQUEE there... lol... it's just that this is better than what I could've hoped for. Ever. :D

*cuddles everyone then bounces off into a corner, mumbling, "Cello, cello, I might get a cello!!"*

katnovia 03-06-2010 08:39 PM

Phew. I'm on at last. bit of catching up to do, so some of theses responses might seem a bit late, but it's all since I was last on..... here goes.


Mark: Can I have some of your ability to sleep? I'm so tired but i just can't switch off *huggles* I hope your body manages to sort itself out soon. no experience of medication i'm afraid, so I can't answer that one. *cuddles* just because I wish i could do more *cuddles again* glad the energy bill thing seems to be sorted out.


Jill: You can be clingy all you want *cuddles gently* i'm sorry i'm not here for you more. I wish there were better things I could say to help, but please try not to cut. cuddle not cut *cuddles gently more*


Kahlia: Finding life is a series of hoops to jump through right now, with the police, GP, the CPN, the crisis team twice, and child services, Im just about sick of explaining my life history to people. I just hope something comes of all this, because i'm so drained. I will tell Rosie later, I'm sure she'll be thrilled. *cuddles you because you are cold*


april: *cuddles* I feel like i can't be there all the time for everybody too, and it feels ****. *cuddles tight* something would be good, i think. Sorry I missed your birthday *special cuddles*. I'm glad you had a good time, your ring sounds great, i'm gonna look that passage up in a sec :) and don't worry about wearing mens sizes, I do too sometimes, and I had to have my engagement ring resized up four times in 3 years.


Helen: I can't remember fully, but I think the recommendations for that kind of situation is to assume use of other protection for a week I think. I can check if you want. *cuddles* cuddle not cut. my new motto, made it a week so far :) Sleep tight. - You're intitled to a whingefest, don't apologise. Sounds like you had a rough time *hugs* I hope your back/legs/feet have recovered!


heather: I'll tell rosie!

Ileana *cuddles* sorry hun I don't know your name, but I'm Kat *waves hello*


Jackie: *cuddles* Hi, I'm kat

Lindsay: A princes trust course? wow. I read about those somewhere, and was thinnking about it but can't remember anything about it now.


Amy: Hi, How are you?


Crimson: I'm really glad to read your happy message about moving, i'll be praying for you that it all goes well. *hugs*


J.Greens: Sorry, can't help, don't quite know what you're asking, I can't focus. But seeing your Dr isn't 'bothering' them love.


JK: *cuddles* I hope things improve for you soon, well done on having a shot at individual replies in your state!


Laura: *hugs* I end up doing that too, especially if there is someone about who I can't get too absorbed in writing on RYL infront of.


Julie: *cuddles* I feel like hiding in a box to eat too, but only because I want to binge and shouldn't.


Hayley: *huggles* Great progress hun, so proud of you


Kathryn: *waves back*Hi sweetie. DBT? sorry brainfry so can't figure that one.


okay page 1366...I can't absorb any more, so sorry guys that's it for individual replies. Love you all!
If I missed you. Sorry, and lots of love and safe cuddles, but I need to breathe and eat now.

PoisonedApple 03-06-2010 08:42 PM

Defintely looking forward to the quiet. J and L were out last night and it was so quiet and peaceful. M only bothered Gen about going to bed (while she was doing her work) once instead of the other 2 days she was up late where I had to argue with both M and J to leave her (and I) alone so she could get finished. It was so nice to be able to just say something once and not have to argue and waste time for a half hour... lol

*Bounces around with April* That is awesome! I love cellos :)
I have no idea where everyone is though... well except Hayley... and me of course...

Doikers 03-06-2010 09:23 PM

Thats ace News About the cello April!! *Bounces* I've been here / WoW this evening , So low been napping all day away , Harmed once but not seriously , what is serious though is all the thoughts are telling me S.I. / Sui things that I don't know how to cope with , I actually feel like I need to cry (un-macho) but I can't , I hate myself , sorry

Doikers 03-06-2010 09:36 PM

I spot a Crimson and a Kat *Huggles*

katnovia 03-06-2010 09:42 PM

*huggles mark back*

Doikers 03-06-2010 09:47 PM

How are you Kat?

EDIT: I can't cope with my head thinking bad thoughts ,I SO want to act on them I'm, going to bed , PLEASE be better tomorrow , Please .:S

katnovia 03-06-2010 09:53 PM

tired and stressed out. Hazel is sleeping really badly again after two great nights. Shame is I could do with a good night as i've had a rough few days, especially today :S

How are you?

PoisonedApple 03-06-2010 10:01 PM

*huggles Mark* I'm sorry the urges are so bad today.

*hugs Kat* maybe tonight she'll sleep okay for you. *hands a cup of tea*

katnovia 03-06-2010 10:08 PM

*huggles crimson* thanks for the tea, havn't had one all day.

katnovia 03-06-2010 11:05 PM

updated rv if anyone's interested, which i guess they're probably not, not even bothered that i took over an hour to read through tons of posts and write a massive set of individual replies. well **** it. what's the point?! go way go way gowagy!! kat want us to goway cos of you and meil and me hurt and you horrid hurt us by hurtin daddy jack and me wish shed lock you up like shadow cos you make me cry and baby and babys not done anythin worng. look you messeds up mmy writngs that me so prounbd off!

Kahlia1981 03-06-2010 11:17 PM

*hugs/waves at everyone*

Sorry I'm not good with individual replies at the moment but I just have to do a couple that really stand out:

Mark: I really hope that is the end of the E-on crisis. I'm hoping that's the "end of the road" with them for you hun. It does sound hopeful that it is. The SI/su stuff does not sound so good and I wish I could offer you something. I hope you are feeling better. :-( *huggles you tightly*

Kat: Wow, that was an amazing post/reply (pg 1366). You made it through an immense number of posts to make that. Thanks very much, by the way, for helping me keep warm. I'm sorry Hazel has been having some bad nights, and also that you have been having some bad times. Is there anything we can do to help?

Very tired today, but basically because I didn't sleep much the night before. And just a bit over things. I wanted to do work on my assessment yesterday but was unable to because a friend came over and didn't want to leave. *sigh* C'est la vie.

shadowedsoul 04-06-2010 12:33 AM

gives kat a big bear hug. i care hunni, sorry your having a rough time right now, you are helping hunni, so is everyone else just speaking on here with people that really care and dont think a mad nutter really helps. even if i dont always say whats bothering me. if that makes sence.

wildly insane 04-06-2010 12:36 AM

*hugs Mark* thanks :) sorry to hear you're struggling so much, hope you feel better in the morning

*hugs Kahlia back* thanks, I really hope it all goes smoothly, hope you sleep better tonight and aren't so tired

*hugs Kat* sorry it's tough, hope Hazel sleeps okay

*hugs Crimson* hope you enjoy the quiet

*hugs Julie* how are you?

*cuddles April* wow you do sound talented, I hope you get the cello. I play the violin, well not so much recently, I love it even though I'm not very good.

*hugs KitKat* I hope you manage to sort out the enrollment, you're not a wimp.

*hugs Helen* how are you? have you heard from the interview

*hugs Hayley* hope you're doing okay, how's things going?

*hugs shadowedsoul**hugs razey**hugs Heather**hugs Oliver**hugs Lindsay**hugs Nicole**hugs JK**hugs Laura**hugs everyone else I've missed out (sorry)*

right Friday tomorrow - yay - and another weekend with no internet access. Hope you have a good weekend guys, leaving cuddles in abundance and some blueberry pancakes, good night

taz35 04-06-2010 04:30 AM

Trying to do as many individual replies as possible. Really don't mean to leave anybody out. <333 If I did, pm me and I'll make sure I give you a good reply :)

*hugs Mark* here's hoping you have a better day tomorrow <3

*hugs April* You look beautiful in your birthday pictures :) I don't know any good advice to give you :( But trust me, you are so NOT a selfish bitch <33 You're a wonderful person. I wish I could show you how amazing you are, let you see it for yourself :) We are blessed to have you on here. I hope you're taking care of yourself <3 How did calling the res go?

*hugs Hels* Sounds like your friends were being really rude/ignorant at the concert, but I'm glad you had fun anyway :) Maybe I missed a recent post, my mind is kind of foggy at the moment, but how was the interview?

*hugs Crimson* How are you?

*hugs Hannah* Sometimes being away from the internet can be a good thing :) Enjoy your weekend!

*hugs Kat/Rosie/Sarah, if hugs are wanted* Sarah - that was an incredible post on the previous page, I'm impressed you (Kat included? sorry, not sure how to word this ><) had the patience to type that all out. Rosie - Don't worry hun, I still think your spelling is pretty good :) Kat - I hope Hazel starts sleeping well again for you soon <3 Sorry to hear you've had a few bad days.

*hugs shadowedsoul (Jill??)* Damn brain fog, making me forget stuff I should know. Are you Jill? Tell me if I'm wrong, I know I should remember this >< I hope you're doing alright <33 Or staying safe at least

*hugs Kahlia* Did you try giving your friend hints to leave? Drives me crazy when people don't pick up on those... *offers motivational cookie* To motivate you to work on that assessment today :) or tomorrow.

*hugs Kathryn* Let us know how the DBT works out. I've never even heard of it before =/ Can anybody fill me in on what it's for, or what it's supposed to accomplish?

*hugs Hayley, J. Greens, Julie, Heather, JK, Lindsay, Laura, Amy, Oliver, Nicole* I hope you're all staying safe and taking care of yourselves <333

*hugs Ileana & Jackie* If I forgot to introduce myself earlier, HI! I'm Taz. :) If I did introduce myself... allow me to perform a face palm out of stupidity :)

Phew, that took a while. To whoever had asked a few pages back, yes - I have a counselor that I see weekly to talk to. I think he's getting annoyed of me though :( I'll probably go update my r/v after posting this, I don't want to spam Vet's corner.

Thinking of you all! <3 *leaves extra special hugs out for anybody who needs them*

Kahlia1981 04-06-2010 04:56 AM

*huggles/waves at everyone*

Just dropped in quickly to say ... Only 2 more bits and my assessment is complete!!

Taz - Thanks! Yeah I told her I needed to work on the assessment and would love some peace and quiet to do so. And asked her when she had to leave. And various other things like that. She just didn't get the hint lol. *hugs*

*glomps Jill* - How are you doing sweetie?

*hugs Hannah* Thanks hun. I slept so much better last night. :-)

*leaves behind a hugs box of hugs and safe love and care packages for all*

risenfromperdition 04-06-2010 06:01 AM

*wants hug*
am exhausted but cant sleep
and am hungry... how on earth is that bloody possible when so huge >.>

Kahlia1981 04-06-2010 07:55 AM

*hugs Heather* - I hope you have managed to get some sleep by now. And hunger is a weird thing.

Only one item left to go on the assessment ... Should be able to submit it today.

risenfromperdition 04-06-2010 08:26 AM

:) good luck finishing asessment :)

how're you doin?

*sigh* cantsleep

shadowedsoul 04-06-2010 09:31 AM

Hugs kahlia, hmm I'm doing okish got some really stuiped
thoughts going through my head it's getting really hard
not to act on them. I can't do this much more, I want to
die but iam also scared of dying if that makes any sence.

Hugs taz, I'm safe or trying to be. How are you doing?
Hugs heather, hope you are doing okay, and mange to
sleep. huggles.

Kahlia1981 04-06-2010 10:40 AM

Heather: Got totally distracted and started working on the second subject. I've started the assessment for it and only have 3 questions to go on it lol. Should be able to have them both in this weekend, which will be good. *huggles* Really sorry you can't sleep. *touches you with the sleep stick*

Jily: *hugs* Yeah hun, that does make sense, although I'm sorry that you're feeling that way. I guess the "being scared of dying" is kind of a protective factor. I wish I could make those dangerous thoughts go away.

Feeling drained and tired and bleh. I went downstairs to hang the towels on the line before and when I walked into the storage area where the majority of our washing lines are I was met with the sight of two of our washing lines having pulled away from the wall and my clean clothes all over the floor ... and they were still wet. :-( At the moment we only have two lines so I could only hang some of my washing back up. *sigh* Just a bit over it at the moment.

I'm just going to leave some *hugs* and *safe love and care packages* for everyone on the table ... If anyone wants a stuffed animals there's still plenty there as well. :-)

xxjuliexx 04-06-2010 10:42 AM

-curls up-:crying:


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