eh. alive? lol

That's a good start *snuggles*

<3 thankies

*leans into*

*snuggles with heather*

thankies <3

on remeron and can't stay awake.........meeting with abusive mother and siblings i haven't seen in a long time in a few hours..........*collapses after making sure i'm hidden under blankies*

*hides under blankets, in the denial tent, pretending everything is fine*

*cuddles all*

Everything in my life is going wrong right now, I wish that I was back in hospital away from all of the pressures.

*hugs one step closer* Sorry I don't have much advice. I hope you are ok... do you have professional support?

I wish i was more okay with everything going on. I feel like I am getting more upset then i should.

Hi...x

Hi Vicki xx

Hi Vicki....how are you?

I feel like ive been on some kind of high and now thats gone
I feel like im slipping down that miserable slippery slope

Hi Helen, Hi Grace. :)

I'm in about the same place as you hon. Had a really good night New Year and yesterday and now I'm hitting down from it. It's quite crap. =/ x

Same here too to an extent.

sorry youre in the same place......maybe it will settle down. theres been alot of excitement and things going on to keep our minds occupied over the past few days and now thats gone......be gentle on yourself hun xx

It's entirely possible. I get it whenever something goes right because as soon as the 'good' stops I see everything as 'bad' instead of normal. If that makes sense? Oh well. Hope you both are feeling better :) xx

*cuddles everyone*

*Hugs One step closer* if things don't get better how would u feel about taking yourself to A&E to get some extra support?

I woke up feeling fairly normal today which was lovely. It's fading and i am starting to feel quite triggered again but i'm doing ok atm

*hugs and hot chocolates to everyone*

Heh. I'm quite happy to give up now. Given up thinking things will get better or anything will ever change for the better. Given up thinking I can cope.

Just breathe. Don't break down, jst brrathe.

*hugs vicki* hon I'm sorry you're feeling so low atm. Please try to keep yourself safe and like you said keep breathing. *offers a squishy teddy to cuddle*

i don't think i want to breathe anymore.

:'(

*hides and cries so hard*

comes and hides in the corner and sobs her lil heart out

*sits next to cheryl and hugs so tight and cries with you*

*hugs everyone*

I managed to sleep last night - - with the aid of 8mg of Xanax but hey, what the heck.

*hugs everyone*



has anyone seen my creativity? it ran out mid bloody poem

*hugs helen, kahlia, and phoenix* Hope you guys are alright.

*hugs kiera* im sorry your EDs arent gone. Have you talked to anyone about it?

I am going to fail... like i always do

*hugs everyone*

And now once more unto the breach .... It's just after 7pm and I want to go to sleep but I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to. Damn that drives me nuts. And I'm in a down mood and thinking dangerous thoughts. I just don't know anymore. *sigh*

*curls up in a corner with a teddy bear and a pillow and tries to fall asleep*

Sending cuddles to all.

Kahlia, try to keep safe sweetheart. I know I'm a little late in responding to your post. But please *cuddles*

Laura, I'm not okay, but thank you for asking. How you doing? xxx

thanks mammia mia. hope ur ok

kahlia please keep safe big hugs xx

Why do things always have to get worse before they get better?
Could this stuipd situation get any worse?
Oh my god :'(

*hugs kahlia* hope the dangerous thoughts go away and that you can sleep.

*hugs helen* I often ask myself the same question about things getting worse... Sorry you are having a bad time. *offers some pillows and blankets for cuddling in*

Too much going on. I need to go back to school... 1 week until i can leave home. Although at school I have to deal with a friend situation that could potentially be very bad.. she is threatening some substance abuse issues. I want to help her but it is reminding me of days where i would try to help people with SI and suicide and it would just trigger me... idk, at the same time... i really like helping/attemptingto help.. so confused..

I.can't.cope.with.this.:'(

*cuddles tight* It's hard when you want to help someone but they're triggering you. Try keep safe and just let them know you're there for her if she wants to talk?

*Hugs everybody*

Helen, what's up hon? x

*hugs Vicki*
Can't say on here :(
I'll pm you.

Ok then...x

*cuddles everyone*

Yay, I managed to get 5 hours sleep last night. I still woke up feeling as though my mouth was full of sawdust ... I'm still not feeling all that good. The dangerous thoughts are getting stronger and I'm getting concerned that I'm going to start acting on them. My mood is still dropping... *sigh*

Just one question - - - - Does this ever end ??

i guess it does well it improves apparently u gota keep working at it.
keep fighting the urges u can do it i believe in u chick big hugs nething we can do

*gently hugs everyone*

I had an okay day today. I got 5 hours sleep last night but really wanted more. I had an appointment with my employment counsellor, and that went okay. I also went for a couple of walks. Hopefully I'll be able to get some decent sleep tonight. I wouldn't lay any bets on it though. *sigh*

My mood is low but I've been able to pretend that it's not and I don't think anyone IRL is aware of where I'm at. I'm having seriously dangerous thoughts, and my negative controlling voice is very strong. *sigh* Oh to step off the world for a day or two and just be in restful peace.

*curls up in a dark corner with a blanket*

*hugs everyone and offers delicious chocolates*

I'm not feeling good right now. I just want to stop thinking, stop feeling and stop breathing.

*curls up in the corner and attemps to sleep through this life*

My work got evacuated! ><

So I'm home and warm and Hi! :) x

*sends cuddles around everyone*

Wow Vicki, although I already knew that because of facebook lol. *cuddles* Ohh I need to tell you something if you can get on msn?? :D

I'm in a much better state today :D Plus it's snowing again, but oh so cold =(

Good morning everyone... we got safely to our friend's house, have been here since Sunday afternoon, etc., etc. It's been really nice, a good getaway... haven't been doing super great mentally but physically I feel more fit than I have in quite awhile. (He's our personal trainer... so yeh, started yesterday and am pretty sore!!)

I'm so sorry you all are feeling bad... Kahlia, can you talk to your GP or your therapist, if you have one? because I'm worried about those dangerous thoughts...

*gently cuddles everyone, then pops out*

eh.

going to see my son in a minute. he's sleeping so im gonna have to wake him up :/ Need to start painting my smile, don't know if i can be assed to.

i miss him but i dont really want to see him right now. does that make me a **** mum? i feel like it.

*cuddles to the ward*

am scared bout tomorrow =\
finding out bout whether this appeal got approved [so can stay at uni...], on top of first counseling sess, on top of class, and add food crap in there... greaaat lol


*cuddles jocelyn* nope, doesnt make you a sh*t mum, just makes you a human who's struggling alot right now <3

i concur... i think it just means you don't want him to worry about you or see you unwell. i feel like that sometimes myself.