*hugs Secrets*

*hugs everyone* how is the weekend going for you all? I'm doing okish, get to go look at some apartments today, so that should be fun.

My weeken is going **** lol. Have fun looking at apartments :)

*hugs Helen* Hope it starts getting better.
I am excited, hopefully I will find one for when I go to school next fall.

I doubt it will but thank you :)

*gives all in here hugs*

Ugh, I hate damn psychotic symptoms and my friends seeing me having them and doing nothing about it!!!

*sits in the corner and cries*

Having a weird weekend so far, I seem to be getting no where fast lol. At least the side effects seem to be wearing off, except for the sickness :( I will get there in the end.

I hope the rest of you have a great weekend.

Thinking about you all

Love and hugs

Jade xxx

i don't know were to start, everything seems like a climb up everest, there's too many jobs, simple ones.. i feel like i have no energy.. no want to do them.. im not lazy.. when i do start, o go overboard and drain myself out, the front needs painting, the hedges, the back room needs clearing, cus i fire everything in there, clean stuff, the lawns need mowing, the onions is a simple job,.. there on the window ready this last 3 weeks.. coal the turf, putting on a fire things i always handled with out a second thought.. i have gone to a person who never sat cus there was always stuff to do.. to a person who does'nt care about it anymore.. i didnt go to bed till 6.30am.. im a waster... just pathetic.

Haha I think you know about my weekend Jadey. The nausa will go as you know sweetheart, but I know it really does suck. I love you so very much.

*offers hugs for everyone else and feels bad she can't support anyone*

I've never been in here before, not feeling so good.

*hugs one step closer* welcome, we aren't that scary i promise.

*hugs mammamia* don't feel bad you can't support, it's ok.

*hugs lucy* everyone deserves a day where they do nothing. Maybe plan which order you'll do some in tomorrow.

*hugs Jade* nausea is nasty but as has been said it'll soon pass. Have tea and some ginger biscuits. Gingers meant to help.

*hugs yoda*

I've actually managed to revise! yay. And I was doing quite well with food etc until my friend got all stressy bout it and now its all I can think of.

How do you de-stress yourself without actually killing yourself in the process?
Near impossible.
It's 7pm and i've taken a bunch of meds to calm me down before i end up smashing my hand against a brickwall in anger. My aggression has peaked today for various reasons and i'm finding it very difficult to get by without doing something lethal.

Welcome one step closer :)

Yay for doing revision, fancy doing my two assignments for me?

How is everyone this evening? x

I'm tired. You?

i went away, and thought u said.. do it one step.. it's working.. iv 3 rooms, hallway mats are airing out side, it's nice and sunny, i opened all the windows of the house, the shed and lawns my car, il tackle them all slowly.. taking side chops.. and see what i can get done.. im going to aim to be in bed at 11.30.. hopefully, i want this day to look back before i go to bed and feel like i got some control back in my life.

i need some were to be safe to cry to be hugged oh god i wanna sh i wanna od i cant take no more criesplease no more


free spirit

Welcome One Step Closer, its calming in here and your always welcome. Sorry that your not doing to well at the moment.

Secrets, thanks for the tips. I am hoping the side effects wear off soon. So glad you have managed to do some revision.

Thinking of everyone else xxx
Take care and stay safe xxx

Love and hugs
Jade xxx

He's hurt another. I'm still hurt. Three others hate him.

I'm finally bearing the entire story to a friend. I want to let said friend know just how much he's hurt a load of people, but...God. Feels like it's re-opening old wounds

Hi One Step Closer (sorry, think I've seen your name before but don't remember) How are you feeling now?

Well done for revising Secrets. Sorry to hear your friend upset you, try not to let it get to you.

*Hugs Acrasia* Sometimes it's really hard to calm yourself down without doing something that will harm you. Try to stay safe, okay?

I'm also a bit tired, Helen. Want to be drinking but have no money :( Are you going to have an early night?

Lucy - Good idea to go to bed at a set time. Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

free spirit - You'll be safe in here. We're here to listen, hug and help when we can :)

*Hugs Jade back* How are you this evening?

*Hugs Dayna* Not really sure what to say, just wanted to give you a hug.

-------
I feel like my evening's a waste without drinking. Isn't that lame?

Thinking of you all
xxx

Thanks for the hugs Zowie - means alot. Take care of yourself also. Hugs x

*Hugs Arwen back*

*Gives hugs to everyone else in the ward*

*hugs Arwen and then hugs Dayna*

Arwen, might have an early night, after the day I've had :/ and week..

Its so hard. I've been recovering for eight months now and i want to spoil it all with a great big cutting binge. *cries* help

Hi all, hope you're all hanging in there.

I always get to a certain point and just want to ruin everything. It's at that point for me, I never seem to get past 3 months or so. This time I haven't been counting, but I know it was late February. And while I've been quite hyper, I'm also starting to get really depressed. My mood swings are worse than normal. The hyperness/happiness is awesome, I LOVE it when I'm like that, although it's impossible to get any work done.

But whenever I'm alone I feel completely pointless, worthless, huge, ugly and a massive waste of space. I went to the pub with my friends last night and got completely ignored by almost everyone. Left after one drink and sat in the park crying in the dark for an hour. I just couldn't face going back to mine, because I knew I'd cut or something.

Shadowed, I kind of know what you're going through. While I have no real advice, I have empathy. Sorry to be completely useless... what's brought all this on, what's happened recently to make you feel like this?

Arwen, I completely get where you're coming from. Although with me, I haven't spoken to someone face to face at all to day. It feels like a complete waste of a day to have not seen anyone and been sat at this ****ing computer doing **** all. But I get to see you all tomorrow :)

*sends hugs to everyone*

*hugs rockaroni* I dont know whats brought it on really im just on a downhill slope *sighs* sounds like your not having the best of times either *offers hot chocolate*

****

days.

I feel sick.

*offers hugs to all*

*Big cuddles to all*

i had good intensions of going to bed.. at set time.. il try again tommorrow.. i didnt get, car, lawn,shed tidy'd.. i got other stuff done that i did not think id get done, didnt make dinner, i never do anymore, what is the point, i hate eating alone, my mum's appitie is so poor, it's baby portions in a bowl, she's ill two years, i take care of her 24 hr care.. i told her id take her to the algave when she is stronger... she liked that idea.. and i hope we do.

*big hugs and cuddles to all*

Sorry it's not more but my hand is hurting and the cast is starting to dig in as the swelling goes away. I keep feeling like I'm going to break the cast when I move my hand.

hello.... anyone there?
im checking myself in- don't feel safe- my heads all messy, and i need to shower but showering is a bad choice- i mean i wanna be clean- but i cant go in the bathroom cos i know if i do ill do something in there.
i made a tea in the kitchen and gonna snuggle in the corner with my relaxing tea and my teddy.
im scared, and i feel sick. :crying:



actually no- ill lock self in room and hide the key, just so i cant get out- then ill b safe. (will i really- i have my own head to contend with?)
instead gives key to friend to come check on me later.
thanks friend.

*takes key*

Hope you're start feeling better soon.

*offers box of chocolates and a blanky*

Want to talk about what's going on?



As for my check up today (since I haven't in forever...)
My cuts are starting to fade away, sorta, which is good.
I went swimming with a friend and was able to cover most of them today, and it got me thinking about my new BF, Mikey, and how I'd like to do some swimming and nature things with him, so I have quite a lot of incentive to refrain, and I'm doing really well. It's been nearly two weeks since I last did, and I'm proud of that.
I'm leaving for Prince Rupert at six in the morning tomorrow and I'm really nervous about provincials. I know that I know my songs and choreography, I'm just scared that I won't be as good as everyone else there. Mikey, Mom, Riley, Brittany, and Courteny are all confident in me though, so I figure I've at least got a shot. Besides, sometimes nerves make you perform better. I am going to miss the sun for the next 5-7 days though...

thank you.
my heads all messy cos im just struggling with stuff form my past, and its a lot for me. im very tired and struggling with work.
ill stay in my room a little while longer but you can keep the key- ill come out later and hopefully be okay. i just need to be safe.

*offers safe hugs to all*

*offers hugs for all*

Kahlia, that sounds, welll painful :(

OMG I'm up at 10am again on a weekend, this is so not me, it's actually freaking me out for some reason. Am on edge anyway. Got to go out later, dreading it slightly incase everyone's like oh cheer up, well I just can't anymore, I've tried. Maybe we play the fake emotions game again, always seems to work on them......

Brighton meet today :D x

Morning everyone (or afternoon or evening depending on where you are).
Secrets woke up feeling really lonely and just arghy today. I have so much to do but my brain won't work, I know it's my fault it won't work but I can't help it. It's all too hard.

*leaves hugs for everyone else* sorry i cant support right now

hi im new to this thread. any chance i can book myself in xx

*huggles Cant*
If there's anything I can do for you, you just let me know.

Alliwant, of course you can check in.
If you ever need to talk, just send me a pm.

*leaves hugs and blankies for all*

hugs secrets and offers to sit with and share blankie.

Ok let's see how I go with personals...

one step closer- welcome to the psych ward :hop:i promise we're not crazy :hehe: how are you going?

Dayna- *cuddles* how are you going hun?

Helen- how dare you be up at 10am *sniggers* *hugs*

Arwen- have fun at the meet today :thumbup:

Secrets- know how you feel, i have so much uni work to do. will have to get back to it after this *sigh* *cuddles* take care ok

alliwant- welcome as well :hop: hope ur ok x

ashley- thanks for the blankies *snuggles up in the corner*


Kahlia- hope ur going ok hope ur hand heals quick *hugs*


Hmm hope I didn't miss anyone but i'm sure I did? Take care everyone. I'm ok. Kinda.

[quote=*Sorcha*Loupvoix*;1639002]*huggles Cant*
If there's anything I can do for you, you just let me know.

thank you- i showered and wasn't safe. sorry.

KATIE- I love youuuuuuuuuu and yes how DARE I be up at 10am LOL *cuddles tight*

Afternoon Everyone,

Waking up in tears isnt a good start to the day, and to be honest it doesnt seem to be getting any better.

Sometimes I wish I didnt have emotions.

< sits in corner and rocks back and forth >

Hope everyone else is staying safe xxx

Love Jade xxx

*cuddles jade* please take care. i hope things start to look up soon =[ *huggles*

*rocks in the corner* why is it that whenever i start to feel better something goes wrong and i feel like s*** again?

yesterday i talked about something that happen with a teenager boy when i was 8 years old, it ws a game he wanted to play with me, doctors and nurse's, he convinced me to come down to a field close by were i live, before that day he used to do stuff to me and other kids, he used to hit us alot, spit on us, punch us, anything to make us cry, i used to be terrified of him, id never play with him. he told me to ly beside him, i thought it was ok, cus there was a girl there, she was his age, he exposed him self, and wanted me to, he said it was a game, i ran away, and he cornered me in a dumpster, when i was riding my bike home from the shop, i hid and he found me, i was cornered he kept saying , i was terrified, i kicked and punched him as hard as i could. to this day i cant understand why did she watch and do nothing. does she even remember, cus everytime i look at her, or meet her, i never forget. i shouldnt be holden a gruge to those people, but i do.

I suck (Y)