aagghh, had a bad 24 hours
last night was terrible, cut a lot and took some pills (not enough to do any harm, just made myself feel rather ill)
got up and went on with life today - no choice really, job pays the bills, feel like I am invisible.

anyways, still trundling on

*massive hugs to everyone*

*hugs to all*

Am feeling so fat and ugly and stupid. Meh.

*curls up in the corner and cries*

Hello all! Sorry not being around but have been pretty **** reacently and not been able to face coming on here to bring everyone down.
Just dropping off my love to you all.

*leaves love and hugs for everyone who wants and/or needs them and hides herself away in a corner with a text book in preparation for next year*

Missed you Marc...
glad you are back - sorry to hear things have been hard.
My PM box is always open if you need someone to talk to.

*runs in, leaves hugs for all and marshmellows*

:P

:crying: :crying: :crying: Oh ****! Damn....cut, not good, very bad. BOLLOCKS!!! Shitting hell, a+e are not going to be pleased. Damnit! I should be content with this, not even wasted, but I can see how it needs to be. Damn. I need to get a grip! I'm sorry for being such a whiny bitch guys. ****shitwankgoddamnit!!!!! aaaaaaarrrggghhh!!!! :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

*squishes all who need it, especially Hells, Amanda, Mary Anne, Ku, etc*

*special hugs to Kahalia* You are doing really well hun xxx

I wish that I could feel like I'm doing well. I feel awful. All the freaking time I'm fighting. But I guess we all are. I do have some good news though .... I've cooked for my flatmate both of the last two nights and he has a) really appreciated not having to cook and b) been really appreciative of my cooking efforts. I think I'm in love (LOL).

*cuddles everyone n hides under sleeping bag* xxxx

I wish this place was real...
I want someone to lock me up until this is over.

*cuddles everyone tight*

Emma, go to a different A&E please? Get it looked at, you know you need to *cuddles*

Arrrrrrrrrgh it's ALL I can think about. **** OFF **** OFF **** OF

*cuddles everony tightly n then hides under her sleeping bag and cries until it all goes away* xxxxx

I am so cold.
It's fricking unbelievable.
Maybe I should get dressed into warmer clothes?

*covers Helen up in a special VERY-warm-but-never-TOO-warm-blanket*

Urgh.
I'm not allowed back at college until they've had a meeting with my social worker and CPN to be sure I'm not a threat to any other students.
What if they don't stick up for me? What if I get kicked out of college? I can't afford to drop out again!!
Oh, and I've been discharged from hospital x

*big hugs too all*

my life is crap :(

*curls up under blanket*

*cuddles Zowie*
I am sure they will stuck up for you hun.

What's up Mary Anne?
Anything you would like to talk about?

Thanks Amanda, you ok? I'm really shaking sor sorry if I make typing kmaistakes :(

*hides under her covers*

You are most most welcome Helen, my dear <3

Love you. xxxxxx

Love you too dear.
*cuddles*

*leaves hugs for everyone*

I feel so alone. I can't talk to my mother because all she does is keep telling me what I'm doing wrong. And my flat mate is at work.

Get this: I rang our social security (Centrelink) yesterday to tell them that I would be moving on Saturday so that they can send my pension card and other assorted details to the correct address. I told them that it was share housing and they asked the sex of the people I'll be sharing with. When I told them that it would be one male and one female and me they said they had to send a "relationship" form so that they could see if me and the male (who I'm presently flatting with) are in a relationship. My flat mates response to this was "you should have said it's okay I just f*ck him I don't date him).

On the good side however I get a $500 cash advance tomorrow, my normal pay on Friday, and some time in the couple of weeks after that $1400 as a special pensioner bonus. This means I'll be able to afford rent and textbooks and other assorted necessities.

I'd better go, I've been blabbering on quite a bit.

Oh ... if anyone wants some heat I'd quite happily swap a bit of what we have here. It's about 7:15 am and it's already 30 degrees Celsius.

Love to you all <3

*cuddles Manda & Kahlia*

I honestly don't know what to do. I had a friend, whom I fell out with because of constantly using me as someone to moan to and never let me moan or anything. Plus she accussed me of lying about being raped nd her boyfriend was just as bad. Now all of the sudden she's gotten back in contact with me saying she wants to talk. She's pregnant and I half wondered if she had been lying but it seems its true. Anyway I really don't know what to do. I mean I miss her a ton, yet she hurt me so bad and I swore to everyone who's friend with her & me, that we'd never ever be friends (I did it everytime we fell out this year before that point) so I really don't know what to do....I don't want to fall for it all over again, yet I can't help but wonder what lies in store?

HELP?????????

Urgh.
Curls up.
Disappears forever.

*cuddles Manda, Helen and Alexx*

Helen, I wish I could help. I've had a few friendships break up for what seem to be similar reasons. I don't know but what is your head and what is your heart telling you ? If you rekindle the friendship make sure you set some rules. After all you are studying aren't you ? So make times when you will be studying and times when you will just be recovering and if she contacts you during those times you can say you are studying. Remember, you can always say that you need some time for yourself or not answer phone calls/emails/etc.

Sorry I realise that probably won't help.

*leaves hugs for everyone*

Wanders in to give some hugs...

What do I do with my day?
Feel a bit sick with anxiety x

my mum makes me feel so down at times. She continually says she will visit and never shows up. I don't know how to deal with it it makes me feel like hurting myself. It feels like I set myself up every time. Idon't know what to do any more. Please help.

Sending doona's & lollie pops to everyone...

Just dropping in to give everyone cuddles and bunches of flowers and teddy bears

*leaves cuddles for everyone*

Gah..
Feel very awful. Awful. Awful. Awful.

I dunno *shrugs*

Fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat FAT

*cuddles for all*

Helen I went through something very similair with a former friend of mine (even the pregnancy bit), I decided she could never change and decided not to go back there but it is up to you, just be careful you don't get hurt.

Had another crap day in my crap life.

x

*hugs Helen, Katie and Zowie*

On the count down until moving back into town. Maybe it's the move that's stressing me - I had to take 2 tablets of my PRN medication yesterday and I haven't even needed 1 of them for 2 or 3 days. Meh. Feeling fat and ugly. Getting my lithium levels tested today. What fun.

*leaves cuddles for everyone*

*cuddles everyone*

Zowie, you're not fat babe.

Mary Anne, thank you sweetheart.

Kahlia, hope it doesn't stress you out too much :(

I, for one, is in a VERRRRRRRRRRRRRY good mood :D

Hey all.

Sorry to hear of all the stress people are dealing with and wish i had an answer :(
I can understand the friend troubles all to well...i screwed one up today and feel horrible now even though i am 83% sure it was his fault.

Things are getting worse and deeper i hate myself but have to stick around untill saturday at least.

I know that feeling of having to stay around to fulfill things I know need done but I wish I could just disappear right now.

I am a big fat waste of space.

I am sure your are not a waste of space. I also think its paradoxical...the feeling of being unwanted but having to hang around to get something done.

For me it is my insane need to have everything finished and organised.

suppose I should go to bed (it is 11:35pm here) and work requires me to be up at 5:45am.

Night

*big hugs*

*hugs everyone*

Our next door neighbours dog has jumped the fence into our yard. We think she may have done so because she is scared of thunder .... and there has been quite a lot of loud thunder this morning. This is the dog who was the ringleader in attacking and eventually killing another dog .... so we don't particularly want her near our dog.

*leaves stuffed animals and giant bear hugs for everyone*

OMG.
One of my online firends is dead.
*shakes*

*encloses Helen in a warm hug*

No words for you Helen because there are none that I can think of that would help. Just letting you know I'm here for you no matter what.

Oh hunni, I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself. Always here for you
*huge cuddles*

Thanks you two.
It's not real.
I cant believe this.

No, it never is real when someone dies.. I still have days where I doubt mum is gone.. heck it's been nearly a year (and gawd that kills me saying that). Just hang in there ok.. Remember that post.. just take it slowly..
Love you sweety x

I have to agree with Katie. It never does seem real. The human brain just isn't quite equipped to deal with things like that. Just hang in there darl, take it one day at a time, and if you need to, one minute at a time.

Love and hugs to you Helen.

Thanks you two.

I'm glad you understand.

I think I may go bed in a bit. I just dont know how i'll be when I wake up and remeber shes gone

Not a problem Helen. I hope you manage a good nights (however much is left of it) sleep. Don't worry about tomorrow until it comes. After all we can only live one day at a time.

*hugs Helen*