Gahhh, today is going to be odd...got psych appointment and tattoo :/ I'm...scared

I know I've been MIA for a while and prolly will be for a bit longer... the brakes are going out on my van ... AGAIN! :( and I took a fall last Thursday and screwed up my ankle and my knee... getting that checked out now to make sure I didn't break anything. I thought it was just a sprain, but it's been 6 days now and it's still swollen and painful so I'm really not sure anymore.

I haven't gotten a chance to read most of the posts, but I have read a few and Laura, that really sucks about not getting to say good bye. *hugs* I wish I knew how to make you feel better.

I hope everyone else is doing okay. I hope to catch up again as soon as I can...

*hugs Georgia*

*hugs Kelly* sorry about your ankle and the van.

I can't talk about certain things because I feel that if I tell someone about certain things that things become real. Like... if I don't tell anyone it never happened. Can anyone relate to this?

*hugs Laura* I can totally relate.

*hugs Kelly*

*Hugs Kellys ankle*

*Hugs Georgia*

*Hugs Laura* Yes , I can relate to that :/

*hugs Mark*
*hugs Georgia*

There is this huge part of me that really wants to tell my therapist all the things that happened. But then there is this other huge part that is stealing the words and I can't say things.
Both have the same goal: they want me to get better
But they want it in different ways: one part wants me to talk about things and do therapy and all, the other part wants me to forget things and move on with life.

*hugs Laura*
I guess what you need to decide is which option you think is more likely to work, talking and therapy or forgetting.

*hugs Georgia*

therapist said that I have to make a compromise. Cause the 'not talking' part wants to protect me and the other part just wants to talk about everything at once. I guess I'll have to experiment to find a way where I can talk about one thing at a time.

*hugs* good luck <3

*hugs Laura*
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Georgia*
*hugs Kelly*

Gah, please someone just hold my hand for today so I don't do anything silly. I am tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed trying to take care of everyone.

*hugs Georgia*
*sits with Matt*

*Hugs Laura* I think you should talk , start small at first and ease your way in?

*Hugs Georgia*How are you?

*Hugs Matt* *Grabs your Hands*

hugs everyone

*hugs all*

Thanks Laura and Mark? I always forget Doikers name, I am so sorry XD

Its not really getting better, its getting semiworse. I am trying to figure out if I want to go back to the psych or not, but I am so conflicted. Its like a war with no end in my mind...

*hugs all round*

I'm surviving..having my tattoo has given my mood a boost, but today was a crap day at work

*Hugs Louise* How are you hun?

*Hugs Matt* Yeeees I'm Mark , you got it :)

*Hugs Georgia , Hooray for tattoos!

*hugs Mark*
*hugs Matt*
*hugs Louise*
*hugs Georgia*

Yeah... that's what I'm trying. Talk a little more each time. Apparently it is not enough when I say 'yes' and 'no' instead of just nodding or shaking my head.
I gave the 3 pages I wrote to my therapist at the end of my last session. He was like 'you were waiting till the end with that so I couldn't ask questions, right' lol.. yeah

*hugs everyone*
Yeah take it a little at a time Laura, baby steps! :p
Ah well, I'm glad you gave it to him, well done!

*hugs Georgia* how are you??

had an attack thingy today. It was a bad one.

attack thingy?
*hugs Laura*

I'm ok at the moment I guess, just flat really which I can handle