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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SoMuchMore 01-02-2010 07:33 PM

*hugs jocelyn* hope you have an okay day at work. I am studying journalism (with a focus in web design) and psychology... I usually cope with school fine but this semester really sucks. I have tons and tons of work. I think what is worse to is that I thought this would be a more "fun" semester, but my classes didn't turn out that way at all.

*hugs april* Maybe our classes will get easier as time goes on (but i kinda doubt it... heh, wishful thinking..) Hope you are feeling better. Let us know how the therapist goes.

*cuddles kahlia* please don't give in! Hang in there hun.

*hugs helen* sorry about the chest pain leading to panic attacks.. That sounds like it sucks really bad. Try to keep busy/distracted so that you don't breakdown (i know that's easier said then done..) Long distance relationships can be really hard... although mine was only long distance for like 3 months... but still...

Way way way overslept today. Good thing i don't have class until this afternoon but i was hoping to get some stuff done. Guess not..
Trying to fight some pretty bad urges. I feel like every little stress is triggering my bad thinking, which is quite ridiculous.. I feel stupid.

MammaMia 01-02-2010 07:50 PM

*cuddles April and Laura*

Have been really busy this afternoon. New month, new motivation? :P Have cleaned the living/dining room (wasn't that messy), tided, cleaned & hoovered the kitchen, tided & hoovered the hall & stairs, started tidying my room, done a load of wash and another one waiting to start, oh and cooked me and my mum dinner =D Well my family say how I rarely do anything without being asked, never cook for me and mum etc :p So yeah, finally listening :P

I have to say April, that I have been going through an awful lot. Some of which I haven't posted about, partly because of people it concerns are on here and I could get done for flaming (Y) You do help, believe me. Chest hurting and panic attacks suck. I should be more excited, I think I'm still in the mindset of not beliving it til I see it. I am a little excited. Ouch 1200 miles apart suck, luckily ours is less than 100 (well I think, may be more). Not suprised you missed him so much.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : adult/could be triggering for sa
I think I'm nervous of how things might turn out *whistles* I don't know? I haven't..you know..since that word nearly 6 years ago. Haven't really had any good relationships or even long ones til this one. Haven't even wanted to. I'm trying not to think about what may/may not happen or I'll put far too much pressure on myself :/ Which I have been doing..Argh this so embrassing haha!! *hugs both of you*


Thank you, I'm sure it will go well :) We've been in & out of contact since last March. We broke up, got back together, broke up for a second time, didn't really talk, started being friends, tried for a 3rd time, I panicked and ditched him, we didn't then really talk much til Sept/Oct, and then we got back for a 4th time in November. Haven't split up since, we've had our arguments/troubles but we're trying to make more of an effort and stuff =( But I've been refusing to go see him til he visits me. It's not fair on me. So been waiting for him to visit since Apirl (he nearly made it up in April & June, but we split before he could come haha).

Thank you Laura for yourp ost aswell :) *cuddles* Don't feel stuipd btw x

Kahlia1981 01-02-2010 08:27 PM

*hugs everyone*

April: I don't think so I'm afraid. I'm going to ask to try Topomax as a new mood-stabilizer when I next see my pdoc - which will be sometime in March. And I'm really worried because I see my new tdoc on Thursday and I think they are going to charge me $160.00 which is going to mean I can only see them infrequently ... even with my mental health plan which is supposed to give me free sessions.

I just don't know what to do.

*continues crying*

SoMuchMore 01-02-2010 09:45 PM

*cuddles helen* wow you seem to have a ton on ur mind. Try not to put pressure on yourself. Just make sure you stay within what your comfortable with.. which u prolly don't even know yet since u haven't seen him.. play it by ear i guess. Seems like you guys have had an up and down relationship, its good that you are getting to see him. I think i would be really nervous too if i was in ur position.

p.s. when u were talking about tidying up your place and you said that you "hoovered" i laughed b/c my boyfriends last name is hoover.. and we call it vacuuming.. so whenever i hear someone call vacuuming hoovering i think its hilarious.. sorry u prolly had no desire to know that but o well lol.

*cuddles kahlia* sorry things are so hard and that you still are not getting as much help as it seems that you need. Its good that you are still trying though with seeing new doctors and all...

Stay safe everyone.

Imaginary_friend 01-02-2010 11:12 PM

*hugs everyone*
i want to get out of my head. *bangs head against the wall*
and i don't want to sleep. i had some really horrible dreams/thoughts when i was trying to sleep last night and they freaked me out...
and my counsellor was not much help today. she told me i have issues with alcohol. talk about stating the f***ing obvious....
ARGH *bangs head on table*

~*Rainbow*~ 01-02-2010 11:58 PM

*hugs Imaginary* Do you want to talk about it darlin??

*hugs Kahlia* dont cry sweetheart - would you like some cookies and warm milk?? and maybe a hug from Mr Monkey??

just realised that thanks to here im a year and a half clear - but the triggers and urges wont go away

[Awakening] 02-02-2010 12:19 AM

*creeps in and hides in the corner*

I'm dreading tomorrow. I have make up for my v visible scars incase they wont let me wear any sleeves or my tubi grip. I'm gonna be on my feet from 7.30am to 8pm and right now my energy levels are so low that i really cant envisage how i will manage..... lots of caffeine me thinks, coffee and pro plus all day long :-/ eek!

Sorry I may try and catch up in a couple days but i have 2 long shifts in a row so i prob wont be around for the next couple days.

Love you all, beautiful people. Keep fighting these shitty illnesses and keep holding on to loved ones and things.

*attempts to start a group hug*

((I've come over all emotional now, i want to cry. bloody depression!))

Scarletdreamer 02-02-2010 12:59 AM

Lots of posts... :) That's a good thing but I wish you all weren't struggling so much!! *cuddles everyone*

One of our pipes burst (in the ceiling, we're on the bottom floor & this is a 3-story build - WTF?!?) so the kitchen got DRENCHED. I had to interrupt soc class to leave to talk with my husband about it as he discovered it when he got home. :( Some of my books, school papers, and papers for my NP's new office got drenched... yuckie. I hate that!! A bad ending to a crappy day. :(

*hides in a corner*

Kahlia1981 02-02-2010 03:41 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Is it bad when even your physio thinks that you should be in the psych ward?

*disappears into a dark corner to cry*

Imaginary_friend 02-02-2010 11:02 AM

rainbow - that's fab :) yay *hugs* its annoying you still get urges though. stay strong :)

Joc - when you read this, i hope you've had a good day or two and that it wasn't as bad as you thought :) *hugs*

April - that really sucks. hope you manage to get it sorted asap! *hugs*

Kahlia - just....*hugs* we're all thinking of you. can i do anything?

i'm just.....in a weird place at the moment and i can't seem to get out of it. but, on the plus side (?!) i haven't been drunk in 5 days. which is quite impressive. i haven't even had 1 drink. hmph. i want one now though and it's like 10am...haha. i won't don't worry.
i feel so on edge all the time. like all this self destructive behaviour is, at some point, just gonna get out of control and something's gonna happen. i don't know what and i don't even want to think about it. i'm avoiding thinking about a lot of things at the moment......
*hides in a corner*

Kahlia1981 02-02-2010 11:10 AM

*hugs everyone*

Laura (Friend): I really wish there was something you could do.

I see my GP in the morning and I'm going to be open and honest with him about a) my ex-tdoc and b) how I'm going. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I guess I have to try.

Imaginary_friend 02-02-2010 11:28 AM

*hugs Kahlia* i hope he listens and does something to help. take care x

AMCarmody 02-02-2010 12:08 PM

*hugs for everyone*

I'm back from Birmingham ... it went so much better than I expected (: But I'm afraid I'm on a depressive episode ATM.

How's everyone?

Jetforce 02-02-2010 01:16 PM

*gives hugs to all*

sorry dont have many words tonite except hope u feel better soon xx

Imaginary_friend 02-02-2010 01:50 PM

argh. i need to be put somewhere i swear. i can't keep cutting like this.
*sits on the floor and cries*

AMCarmody 02-02-2010 02:10 PM

*cuddles Laura* What's wrong, sweetie? Are you safe now?

Scarletdreamer 02-02-2010 02:23 PM

*cuddles LauraFriend* What's up, sweetie? did you take care of the cut?

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough time right now... that sucks beyond belief. What are you going to talk with your GP about?

*hugs Jet and Annie* How're you two doing today? :)

*cuddles Helen* Yeh I understand what you mean... lol. But if you don't want to, you know, then you don't have to. I hope that makes sense & goes along with what you're saying. :P I hope that the visit goes well... the relationship sounds a bit rocky but what relationship - even a friendship relationship - doesn't have its own rocky bits? Keep us updated. :) How are you feeling this morning? ♥

*cuddles Jocelyn* How're you, love? (whenever you read this) I hope that your day(s) at the hospital go well & that you enjoy them, although being on your feet that long is bound to be painful. Take care of yourself... and update us when you can!! ♥

I'm really tired... the ceiling collapsed in part of our kitchen last night after we went to bed, so it is really smelly... yuck. There are rat turds in among the insulation & all too... NASTY. :( Jarrod took the day off work so he could clean up the mess, which is good... and we locked Daniel (kitty) in a huuuge cage that J bought this morning at Walmart, with his litterbox, food, & water, so he wouldn't be in the way. It'll come in handy when the landlord redoes the ceiling, too... can't wait to have a "whole" kitchen again!!! If you want to see pics I have pics... lol.

I'm kind of low right now... tired & dreading classes, even though I only have two today. :( Yuck. I feel like I will never, ever be a competant therapist... thanks to my last advanced counseling class. :crying: I'm so worried about this!! She keeps emphasizing how difficult it is to be a good therapist, & I'm worried that I just don't have what it takes. :(

*hides*

Imaginary_friend 02-02-2010 02:39 PM

thanks Annie and April
i'm ok now...i cleaned it up and it's all bandaged up. again. i just feel stupid. today was the first day it hasn't been bandaged up but obviously, i can't see it without wanting to do it again. so i did. i hate myself.
*bangs head against the wall and cries*

AMCarmody 02-02-2010 03:01 PM

Laura: I understand. But please try to let it out without harming yourself? Are you in therapy/meds ATM? Are you safe now? *more cuddles*

April: *hugs* Hey! All is getting better. A bit cloudy but I can trudge on. Thanks, in a huge part, to Manperson's support and love = infinite and priceless. How are you?

MammaMia 02-02-2010 03:14 PM

*cuddles everyone*

April, yes you were on the right lines. I know I don't have to :) Really want to though. Will see what happens though. Discussed what we're going to do a bit more with him last night :) Hopefully am meeting with two of my close friends and going for food. Or may have a takeaway, not sure yet. So that'll help take the pressure off things.


Things aren't so great right now as always, I landed one of my best friends in hospital. Well, she did take the overdose, I told a friend of hers who had to drag her to hospital. Don't think she'll be leaving any time soon, despite it being a small one. She needs to be sectioned for her safety etc. But we shall what happens with that. Things are pretty good with my other best friend, we've gotten even closer in past few weeks - if that's even possible.

I'm sorry about your ceiling and stuff :( Hope it can be sorted it very soon sweet *cuddles* Am sure you'll be a great therapist.


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