Aw, what's up, Joc? *gentle cuddles*

I'm doing okay... feeling a little worse than earlier, mentally, just want to curl up & hide forever. I am so sick of uni and work and deadlines and it's just the end of the first week!!! (or beginning of the second week, however you want to look at it)

:crying:

*cries because she can't in real life*

Just when you think things are on the up, life comes back and gives a huge bite in the arse. (Y)

*hugs Helen and April*

I know what u mean Helen. Life can be mean :'(

April, I'm sorry u feel crap. Are you trying to pace urself, workwise?

I don't know really, just feel crap. Had an anxiety attack last night. I've never had one before :-( I think it was because id done too much in the day and was mentally and phsyically exhausted :-/ not sure if that makes sense. And if that was from just having Ethan for a night and day (with a break from my lovely parents) then i don't know how im gonna cope with uni and placement this week.

*wants to curl up in a ball and escape from life for a while*

I'm sorry guys, I can't do individual replies but *hugs all*

I'm struggling so much. :(

*cuddles everyone*

Lemme try and be the strong one for a bit, take the weight off of everyone else's shoulders...

[strong one]

*huggles Jocelyn* I'm so sorry that you had an anxiety attack. I've had those before; they're no fun. :( What you said does make sense. How are you feeling this afternoon/evening?

*squishes Helen* Yer, I come here to cry because I can't IRL as well. It sucks horrifically but it's the best I can do. What's going on? care to talk about it?

*snuggles Vicki* What's going on, love?

[/strong one]

I feel like **** myself. Headache, just want to lie down & go to sleep but my husband is going to want me to go and target shoot with him & my dad. I want to but I also want to lie down & sleep for awhile... sooo ****ing tired!!!!



*hides*

*hugs april* that sucks that your so tired and have a headache. keep fighting the ed urges. Even though i know its hard.

*hugs helen* yea life can really suck sometimes. Sorry its giving you such a crappy time right now. Wanna talk about whats wrong?

*cuddles vicki* you okay?

*hugs jocelyn* anxiety attacks are horrible... ive had them before as well.

sorry about my pointless drunken post... i dont really remember posting on here but whatever i guess. i know getting drunk isnt the best idea always.. but i mean, it was fun and distracting this time. Got a lot to do today, hw wise. My friend wants me to talk to him again tomorrow. Although im still kinda not seeing the point in talking anymore.

*cuddles LauraStar* No worries about your "pointless drunken post," hehe... it's fine. I'm glad that it was fun & distracting this time but be careful, limit it & all of that. I'm sure you know the lectures about the "dangers of alcohol" - lol. :) Is this a friend or a "friend"? and why don't you see the point in talking to him? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, just curious.

I did go target shooting, shot 28 rounds out of my pistol before my arm got too tired. :-X Jarrod's still out there shooting & so is my dad... I feel like a wimp but oh well. :(

I'm really tired & just picked up a piece of (healthy - s/f, l/f) food... stupid me... but I really do FEEL hungry, despite the fact that I was full half an hour ago. Still want to purge. :(

*hides*

April - if your hungry its okay to eat. Your def not stupid. I dont know anything about target shooting.. but i doubt that you are a wimp.

Hes a friend. He's one of my best friends. I just still cant really see why i should talk anymore. I feel like he only initiated it because he feels bad if he doesnt. I dont want to whine to ppl when nothing is going to change. I just feel like i will worry him pointlessly.

*cries and curls up in the denial tent*
Everything's just finnnnne.

No, I'm not ok. I know this is stupid, all over a break-up, but...I can't explain it.

curls up and crys. my mind is in overdrive, keep thinking something happened to my freind, god not now, please dont tell me she died. cant keep that thought out of my head. hides under blanket. crys

*holds Jill, Vicki, Helen, & LauraStar* Group cuddle time... sorry, can't offer any more than that at the mo, am feeling pretty crap myself.

i am officially a horrible person... i hurt everyone around me. Even when i dont mean to

You are NOT a horrible person, Laura. Why do you think you hurt everyone around you? what happened? *gentle cuddles*

well... its kinda a long story... but apparently when i was drunk last night i made a few comments about being gay when i was drunk... (i was like.. o i can be such a lesbian when im drunk.. or something i guess.. i dont remember saying anything at all)... and apparenlty it upset my friend, who just came out to me a few days ago... she thinks im an insensitive bitch and my boyfriend.. he says he agrees and is embarrassed. I sent a message to the girl apologizing but everyone is so mad at me now.... I am horrible.

*cuddles Laura some more* You're not a horrible person... you just said something you oughtn't have when you were drunk. Drinking impairs sense(s). Your friends should realize this & not take what you - or anyone else who is drunk - say to heart. Your boyfriend agrees with you?! that doesn't sound very good... And I'm glad that you wrote a letter apologizing to your friend. That was a wise move, I think.

*cuddles everyone*

*curls up* gotta see a nutritionist tomorrow... she gonna think i too fat to be ill and laugh and :(. blech.

*cuddles everyone tight*

Awh Heather, I'm sure it will go okay. I saw a nutritionist from July 2006 to this past December, and he never told me I was "too fat to be ill." They're professionals, they should know better than anyone that you can't tell from a person's weight whether or not s/he has an ED. Hope that helps some... & good luck!! *cuddles*

*cuddles Helen* Hope you're doing okay, love...

Bedtime for me... think I'm going to see about reading a bit before bed though. That ought to relax me a bit as I'm pretty uptight right now, back is in knots. :(

night april <3
:)