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-   -   Do you feel the same way? (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=184631)

Isabelv 15-03-2012 09:40 AM

Do you feel the same way?
 
Like you've been lost for so long that your own darkness is now your home and your so incredibly numb you can't feel at all. Life has become a burden and it's hard just to take breaths to stay.your self hatred is so strong it convinces you that you don't even deserve to live, you don't even deserve to be happy. There are constant voices in your head telling you your ugly, fat , stupid, worthless, useless, sick and pathetic. And though you so desperately want to have just a glimse of happiness you know that it's no use because you won't get better and you don't deserve it. And all your vices are now your friends and comfort, now they take up every space in your heart and mind and they force you to surrender anything of value. It's like you've fallen but no one can hear your screams and soon enough you just except that this is how it's supposed to be. For me personally that's how it is, I pushed everything under the rug and they all grew and became depression, self harm, self hatred, fear, and suicidal thoughts. Everything I pushed down for so long ate me up inside and consumed all my sanity, and I tried to live with it by numbing the pain but that made it worse. I tried closing my heart off completely but that turned it to stone and I tried pushing people away by not giving them a name so they wouldn't mean anything to me if they left. I know this is long but I just felt like posting this and if you can relate than you can share or tell you story.

PassedExpectations 15-03-2012 08:49 PM

i think that alot of people here can relate. i certainly can. things can get better though, but not on their own. sometimes it takes a leap of faith to start recovering, because you have to start trying to get better, even if you can't see how it is possible, or what "better" is going to look or feel like

nevermeantt0fade 15-03-2012 11:18 PM

I certainly know how that feels, and it's good to know I'm not alone

Isabelv 16-03-2012 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nevermeantt0fade (Post 3167444)
I certainly know how that feels, and it's good to know I'm not alone

Me to:)

Tig 16-03-2012 01:42 AM

I can relate to this a lot.
Sending you many hugs xx

Red Riding Hood 16-03-2012 09:06 AM

I know that right now the depression thoughts are telling you that things won't get better - but they will, they can, please don't give up on that possibility. I know these feelings too, they are painful and they seem like there's no way out, but there is. I'm on the other side now, things have got better than I could ever imagine and I am so glad I held on through the dark times, so I hope you can get some support to get through them too.

Are you getting any professional support?

x

lonely_hope 16-03-2012 09:57 AM

I can definitely relate. Those are all such difficult feelings to cope with... hope you're doing ok<3
Feel free to send a PM if you need to talk *hug*

Isabelv 16-03-2012 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tig (Post 3167579)
I can relate to this a lot.
Sending you many hugs xx

(receiving them)

Isabelv 16-03-2012 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Riding Hood (Post 3167705)
I know that right now the depression thoughts are telling you that things won't get better - but they will, they can, please don't give up on that possibility. I know these feelings too, they are painful and they seem like there's no way out, but there is. I'm on the other side now, things have got better than I could ever imagine and I am so glad I held on through the dark times, so I hope you can get some support to get through them too.

Are you getting any professional support?

x

no i'm not at the point where i even think i'm bad enough to get help.

Isabelv 16-03-2012 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonely_hope (Post 3167726)
I can definitely relate. Those are all such difficult feelings to cope with... hope you're doing ok<3
Feel free to send a PM if you need to talk *hug*

you to, thank you.

Red Riding Hood 17-03-2012 03:00 AM

Trust me, if you're feeling this way you deserve to get help. I wonder if you could see your doctor and tell them how low you're feeling, the sorts of thoughts you're having? You deserve so much better than this x


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