*hugs Lindsay*
*hugs Laura*

I'm exhausted. How are you?

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*cries* I really don't want to be alive any more.

*Hold Lindsay Tightly*

*Hugs Ian*

*Night Night My Wardies*

Night, Mark.

*hugs mark* good night
*hugs lindsay*

love you guys <333

*hugs all*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm so sorry i wish there was more i could do to help, but i do know what it is like to feel the way your currently feeling iv been there myself and its awful. It wont last forever. I hope you feel better soon i really do.

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Mark*

*hugs Ian* how are you?

omfg. I fly in a little under 1 day.
This is too stressful.

*hugs ward*

but look at your annoying signature. and getting to see deathly hallows and grr :P <3
love you *jumps on*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Felicia* <3

Hi everyone.

Hey Lindsay *Squishes* How do you feel hun?

Desperate to get out of life. How are you, Mark?

I'm not sure my neighbour is insisting I get myself some cider for getting him his fags :S *Hugs Lindsay*

Are you able to decline his offer?

Not really , he insisted , so.............. yeah , But it'll just be a couple for tonight which is good I guess , the universe is taking the piss somewhat :S

*huge hugs*

*Squishes Lindsay*

*hugs lindsay*
*hugs mark*
*hugs heather*
*hugs miskitty*
*hugs oliver*
*hugs ian*
hope I didn't forget anyone but just in case
*hugs all*

they still want me to go inpatient. I have an appointment to talk with the inpatient person at hosp and then I get to decide if I want to go inpatient or if I don't want to.
I'm putting pressure on myself and keep thinking that if I don't go voluntarily that they are going to force me eventually.

*Hugs Laura* Perhaps wait until you've spoken to the woman until you decide?

Maybe you could try making a list of the pros and cons of going inpatient and see how you feel then. Having something down on paper can make decisions easier.

*hugs all*

Laura I agree with Lindsay a pro and con list is a good idea.

I got called a freak on the train back to Manchester cos I was watching an opera.

That was so horrible of them, Oliver. I hope you're ok. *hugs*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Oliver* I'm so sorry that's so mean , don't let the bastards get you down Mate .

Is this really me? Is this my life? I've never been 'normal.' I just want to fit in somewhere.

*hugs Lindsay and Mark* how are you both?

Waiting on the crisis team phoning me to tell me that i've done well by cutting my grass today. I don't feel like i've done well. I am a fraud living in an alien world.

How are you doing, Oliver?

*hugs Lindsay*

I'm not doing so great, I want to OD, but have to go buy the tablets tomorrow.

What's making you want to OD?

really strong urges to do it, I can't explain them I just need to OD, its like a force acting over me making me do it.

*Hugs Lindsay*
<---- you two are very dear to me , PM box always open
<---- You are always there for me :)
*Hugs Oliver*

*hugs everyone and goes to lay down in a dark room*
Sorry everyone, I can't even focus enough to get caught up and do replies.
*hopes the migraine goes away during my VPW nap*

*Hugs Crimson* *Hugs your Head*

Oliver, I understand that feeling. It's horrible but please remember that you don't need to act on it. You are in control.

Thanks Mark *hugs back*

Crimson, I hope you feel better soon.

*hugs Crimson, Mark and Lindsay*

I'm off now to my trans swimming group, have a good evening/morning all.

Hey everyone :)

Apart from family (and my parents obviously) which most of them live quite a long way away i have no one. I do have one person who i really like and i talk to them quite alot. We have been talking for quite sometime and are hoping to meet soon.

*Hugs Oliver* I'm so sorry about the person who was nasty to you Oliver

*Hugs Mark* How are you?

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you doing?

Oliver, I hope you enjoy the swimming.

Ian, i'm sorry you don't have many people to talk to. I know how that feels. I'm always here if you need me.

I'm not really sure how i'm feeling.

I cut last night. First time in weeks. Tired of this ****.

*hugs Mrs Pan* xxxxx

I'm sorry to hear that *hugs* Do you want to talk about anything?

I think i'm close to cutting too. I need something.

Oliver - if watching an opera makes you a freak, the unfortunately I'm a total freak too! I watch ballet as well, that probably makes me uberfreaky? So sorry, people are such jerks!

*hugs to everyone* How we doing guys? x

Anything I can help with? xxxx

Thanks, but i'm not sure that anyone can help. I'm very suicidal. I just need something to tide me over until I get things sorted.

How are you?

pretty much the same. coping tho. Listening to Nessun Dorma. it's my favourite piece of music ever.

Hope you manage to get things sorted <3

Thank you. I hope you feel better soon.