RecoverYourLife.com Forums

Sooo tired

spiders*web — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:00:31 GMT

I wasn't sure if this was the right place to post this on, I haven't been on here in so long I'm not too sure where things go anymore!

I just wondered if others could give their experience of prozac and/or periods of extreme tiredness. By that I mean dizziness and breathlessness that could be confused with anxiety.

I went back on prozac a few months back and have been getting on and off bouts of this extreme tiredness. It's really affecting my work (I'm doing a PhD, I'm a tutor in halls, I work in a bar and am about to start teaching again). Some people might say it's because I've a busy life but that doesn't explain why after days in bed this tiredness won't go away and then as suddenly as it came, it goes, and I barely sleep for a while and have an amazing capacity to do lots of work with all the ambition and determination I had previously seemed to have lost.

I'm reluctant to mention it to the doctor as I don't want to be taken off them again, after years of on and off again meds I really do think prozac are the best bet to control my moods, I'm currently on the lowest dose.

Also I had my bloods checked, I'm fine in regards to diabetes, anemia, and thyroid.

Any advice or similar experiences would be much appreciated :) thanks

Spiders*web

Feeling really overwhelmed.

Sparky! — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:38:29 GMT

Sorry I should stop doing this. I just, really need some support at the moment, please.

I am such a mess right now, and it's so silly. We're moving tomorrow and there's so much still to do. All of my stuff is packed but there is still so much general stuff left to pack and organize and a lot of it is being left down to me and I can't see how it's ever going to get done and I am far more stressed than I should be. I am such a jittery, panicky mess at the moment I'm really not getting much done anyway. I completely broke down because I couldn't find the packing tape!

I thought I was completely fine with the fact we're moving, and well, I am, it's fine, it doesn't really matter that much. Only it's just kind of hit me that we're moving again to yet another place where I don't know anyone and it feels sad and lonely. I won't be there long before going back to uni anyway so it should be fine, only I am worrying about that too, I feel so sure that I won't be able to settle back in; because of taking time out I've lost touch with a lot of people and it's been so long I would feel strange contacting them now. I don't know, I'm sure I'm completely over-reacting but I feel awful and utterly alone and convinced that I'm never going to settle back in and have friends and not feel like this.

I think also it is partly that I am leaving behind quite a lot of support. I didn't think I minded and really, I know that it is natural to move on and get less as you get better anyway, but I guess I am a little scared about going from having quite a bit here to being in a scary new place with nothing. Even though I never do, just knowing that if I needed to I could call the CMHT / CT anytime is helpful, and I guess now I just feel sort of lost and alone. I now have an appointment with my old psych in September (in my uni town - and I really don't like him!) but that is it. I know that I will cope (I think) but it's still a bit hard just now.

I just, I can't stop crying and I'm not entirely sure why. I would very much like to self-harm at the moment but I need to avoid that. I just feel really lost and lonely and sad and it's hard to believe I'll ever feel okay and 'normal' again.

I don't really know what I'm asking for.

Popple — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:02:56 GMT

..but I just wanted to make a thread. I feel so horrible at the moment. I've been back to the doctors and they have increased my meds back up again but it's not taking away this initial feeling. I feel suicidal. I know it will take a few weeks for the meds to kick in at the new dose. I know this. I'm on the waiting list for a psych referral but there are still 8/9 months left to go on that list. Unless I do something "bad enough" that warrants me being bumped up the list. I hate that. It's so tempting. I feel so confused. I know in the long term, there is a plan in place....the meds will hopefully kick in and at some point down the line I will have some form of therapy. But in the short term, I feel so fucking alone. I need to get through the next few weeks and it sounds like a lifetime for me right now the way I'm feeling.

I'm frightened and I just wanted to say so. Could I have some hugs or something? I feel so lonely.

Bisexual = upset boyfriend.

Catharsis — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:03:28 GMT

I'm sorry for making a thread. Even more so when i've already posted somewhat along these lines already in the Homosexual Home thread. I was hoping maybe for some more person advice.

Yesterday my situtation was at

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catharsis (Post 2422936)

Hi Everyone,

I have an absolutly amazing boyfriend whom i love to absolute pieces. But i also feel strongly attracted to girls. To me at the moment, it seems like my boyfriend is the only boy i'd consider having a relationship with - while there are girls i'd love to connect with. I'm not too sure what i'm asking. But i feel these feeling are overshadowed by having a boyfriend, and the amount of friends at school who have 'come out as bisexual'. It's a feeling like im not being honest with myself for having feelings for girls. Is it normal to want to 'experiment', to understand myself. Im not sure if it makes sense to say i want to find a girl who i can love like i do my boyfriend.
My best friend who moved away has texted me on more than one occasion saying she thinks she's bisexual - and she fancies me. I've let myself slip and texted back a couple of times - and this led to a big argument with my boyfriend where i wasnt completly honest with him.
I sorta think i just want someone to talk to about this.
Do i make sense?

And then last night the topic arrose with my boyfriend - that i find girls more attractive than guys. This really upset him.
We began talking about what would happen if either of us came out as bisexual. And the first thing he said was that he would be upset and a little pissed off. I asked him to explain and he said he wouldn't like me thinking of both sexes 'sexually'. He'd rather i cheat on him with a guy than a girl. He's always joked that he's selfish with me - and it's always seemed cute because i love him. But when he went into it in this way he just seemed kinda rude. He said he wants me to feel for guys only. Only him. ( and i do feel for him. I love him as my boyfriend and i made that clear to him. That saying this makes no difference to how i feel about him. )
I was getting annoyed with him now, i told him i still loved him and asked him to stop being a bitch ( :crying: rude me ). He just came back with that I was the bitch who couldn't stick to one sex. I'd kiss a girl with no regret. And i have.

Now he is saying that it always did cross him mind. If i was lesbian all along i should have ended it. He says it going to get in the way. That it isnt hard to see anyway. He says he doesn't understand how i can have a liking in the same sex. Specially when i'm already with him.
He doesn't understand that i love him.
He thinks he's done something wrong.
He think it'll get in the way.
He mentioned it might be best if we broke up.
He sounds homophobic.

How do i make him understand?
:crying:

Sorry if this sounds jumbled. I'm just upset.

Portrait of a Friend

Kayakova — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:41:58 GMT

I'd like to direct your attention to his sleeve. I spent ages on it. xD

So... Here it goes!

Forever_1994 — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:36:52 GMT

Hey there,

Im Jadekia but feel free to call me Jade, Kia or Jadey. <3
I'm 15 years old, nearly 16!

Im new here and a little nervous about speaking about this sorta stuff for the first time so please be patient..

I decided to join up today to get myself back on track and to support others.. I started cutting at 12 years old which was the worst times though after support from somebody i didnt then know i slowly edged away from the self harm. After other events, i lost all control and i appear to have fallen back into a path of cutting, drinking and smoking. This is not the life i want to lead and i wish to persue my career in acting without the reminders of the harm ive inflicted upon myself..

The support i've found on here is unbelievable and i hope i can offer that to other people in the way in which others have. I'm open minded, loving and generally a chatty person.. I hope to speak soon..

Break a leg!
Everybody reading this has the potential to reach where they wish to be!

Jadey <3 xxxxxxxxx

struggling to cope

88shelz — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:19:00 GMT

in a few days it will be a month since my fiance packed his things and left.

amazingly i havnt harmed myself in any way. i wanna be proud for that but i just cant find positivity or happiness about anything.

i honestly thought he would come back after some space - i broached the subject and he told me that its over for good....that i need to move on.

i have only just taken his photographs down. today is the first day i have spent alone in my house. the past month i have been at a friends. im finding it so hard to be sat here. time is going slow and i cant distract myself from the memories of me and him. i still love him and this hurts me more and more each day.

Before you make your first post or have just made a first post - Please read!

ninjapenguin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:08:28 GMT

You are probably terrified at this point. You dont know anyone and they dont know you. You have probably lurked for a few days, weeks or months. Its probably taken you all your strength and bravery to make your first post and then it all comes flooding out. Your mind may be fit to explode. There may be a thousand thoughts whirling around and you just need to get it all out. So you decide to write:

You may then wonder why no one replies, why some get replies and you dont? You may feel rejected or neglected. You may end up feeling even more of a lost cause because no one can answer your problems. You may think what the hell is the point and no one cares?

Firstly let me tell you that WE DO CARE! However, in order to get the best out of the Vets Support Forum there are a few things you can do!!!

1. We dont know you or your history! Its REALLY hard to know what to say or how to say it if we have no idea about you. So if you are gonna make a post then a little background REALLY helps!! Make an intro in the General Vet section. Tell us a little of yourself. Reply to others threads too. Its a GREAT way to get known. Read THIS

2. Try and figure out what it is you are asking for rather than just blurting it all out. Believe me i know how hard this can be. However, sometimes we can just write a load of "stuff" and to the outsider it can be really hard to decipher! If you want to just let off steam then tell us. If you are asking for what to say to a partner then say so. If you are asking for what actions to take then do that. It really does make it easier for us to give you an answer!!

3. Be aware that this board is slow moving!! We are a tiny board on a big website. Being older we are in the minority. It takes time for people to read and reply.

4. Also be aware there are many who have been members here for a long time. We know each others histories and stories. Its easier for us to answer our friends than newcommers sometimes!

5. Finally dont forget that others are probably struggling too! its a support site and people WILL reply but only when they are in the right state of mind to do so. Its hard to reply when hightly triggered or down. So just be aware and also read THIS

Everyone is welcome in Vets..there are strong friendships and bonds formed. Help us to help you and then become part of our little family too!!!

Thanks

Matthew xxx

Mildly Triggering (ED) - so confused

MistressOfMisery — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:34:03 GMT

Its 7:29 pm right now, and it has been and hour ans 13 minutes since dinner. I havent purged yet. I dont know how i feel. On the one hand i'm proud of myself, I know its not huge acomplishment but still.

But the bigger part of me is screaming. I hate myself for resisting, I feel like I'm giving up, or being weak in not doing it. I cant think of anything else either. 3 hours isnt it? till you can no longer vomit it back up... I only hope I last, but do I really hope i do? im not sure

Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - Untitled. graphic

becci — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:17:09 GMT

" Little Girl", your deadly white skin calls my name. The friction of skin is here.
Flaunting. Seductive.
Once more the tales of love reel bitter-sweet confusion.
Take my hand, take what I am about to give; don't know how to.
Here is my begrudging gift to you, not for your dignity but mine. Love me in the way you know.

" Little Girl", you're so weak.
You've been blinded to this, love, scratching at your eyes like birds scavenging.
Shush now. Don't make a noise. No one wants to hear, ****.
Don't even entertain the hidden consequences dancing across your thoughts.
Your awareness is growing with you. Older and wiser you know you're being used.
I'll leave you; dirty,empty,dead.
I'll rape you. I'll haunt you.
Linger, suffering on your withering young mind.
Stop your dying!
Stop your screaming!
I'll murder you with my mind and yours eventually.
Don't fret my love,
You know I hold your compassion.
Shatter it; manipulated reflections.
It's for the best.
I am your creator. You're mind to with what I will.
Die away.

my nightmares release me to the sticky sweetness as your cum slides over my immature abdomen, manipulation of my infantile nature, for your greed, justice. Without even seeing you i know you are here. I sense you in front of me, with the smell of your dick already hard up against the tight demin of your ill fitting jeans. I pay for your mistakes; breathless, as you compress my pale ribcage, slumping back after the climax dies away. My pores filling with your clammy sweat as you lay subconscious on top of me; unable to move.

Silent screams relinquishing hope, distracting my mind with the badly artexed ceiling. The very moment i am able to recollect my own corpse, dead to the real world.

We has developed a secretive rhythm, tuned only to your habitual ****ing. I long to scrub away my skin. raw. releasing my hands for their torture as the succumb to your addiction, grasping terrified as you force my childish palms into your groin. The physical language our relationship holds, bared witness only by the room of ten by twelve.

Soiled, i recall the stench of you, as the innocent to their mother's cologne. Still i followed you blindly into your oblivion.
My obscure definition of love;life.
My body my your whore, my love your play thing. My heart, disregarded.
Desolation as my ragged,stripped spirit lay dying.
I had no understanding then of the afflictions of your strength; misunderstanding.
consumes and corrodes; crawling through this skin- skin of your blood, your bastard entity.
I've fabricated my life, synthesising your love; deceit.
Now i see. Now i despise.

Reading festival

Scaredandalone — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:02:38 GMT

So, anyone going to Reading/Leeds this year? What's your opinion on the lineup?
I think it's really going downhill. The first year I went I saw Marilyn Manson and Iron Maiden... This year we get the likes of Modest Mouse and Dizzee Rascal? :(

Triggering (SI/OD) - Relationship advice

((deleted)) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:48:26 GMT

Well, this is all very very comnplicated so you'll have to bear with me a bit while i try and explain.

I have a long distance relationship with someone who lives in another country to me. Recently my mental health has really gone downhill (he knows about my past and everything) and i'm struggling to cope and manage with everyday life.

Now, this is where it gets a lil more complex, I worry about him worrying about me, and i feel a bit guilty i guess cos i don't think he knows just how bad i am at the moment and i don't want to tell him cos i don't want him worrying about me if i'm not online for a couple days.

So i'm wondering if i should say to him to take a break until i've sorted myself out. I really really care about this guy and i can't stand the thought that i may distress him thorugh being ill, so i'm wondering if it would be kinder to just let him go so to speak.

Have any of you guys been in similar situations? Or wondered about ending relationships cos you feel like you're hurting the other person too much by staying in them when you're ill?

I just don't know what to do, on the one hand i don't want to lose him but on the other i don't want him feeling responsible for me.

Any advice/comments would be most appreciated.

Ruth

Dog names

Tattered_Kisses — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:42:18 GMT

I'm getting a female teacup yorkie tomorrow and can't bear the blow to my ego if i have to yell 'Kiki' accross the park as a dog smaller than my cat makes its way towards me.
As she's only a few weeks old i don't want to keep calling her that, but my and the hubby can't decided on a name; so i figured you guys would be more than willing to help!
Plus i'll reward you with photos once she gets here :)

(and only if i can work out the poll thing, if not ill edit them into here lol)

Come in Skint students!

RainbowsAndButterflies — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:25:54 GMT

I'm a fellow skint student. I want to go skating but that means I can't go out with brother and his girl on sunday! I have �15 to my name and the skate rink costs �6 and travel �4.50 per time :(

Gahh I hate being a skint student and can't find a job for toffee...

some of my art

silentdancer — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:09:51 GMT

here are some of the works that im considering having displayed at a local gallery, im just worried i might not be good enough :/ what you think?

Attached Images

	IMG_0206.jpg (110.8 KB)
	IMG_0211.jpg (177.3 KB)
	IMG_0212.jpg (162.9 KB)
	IMG_0213.jpg (81.3 KB)