I don't think I've posted here before because I never felt "deserving".
I don't have dates of the last time I self harmed, nor do I have lots of months free. But I want to acknowledge that I have made progress over the years. My self harm is far, far less frequent than it used to be. I'm not overwhelmed with constant thoughts of hurting myself anymore... in fact, rarely do I even think of it. It's not a natural response to distress anymore. I know it can seem impossible, but you can get there too.
People say that I've come on in leaps and bounds with regards to my self-awareness. There's still a long way to go, and there's still some things I need to be braver about but... I understand myself better. I understand why.
I have learned to express my anger and to assert myself more. I take less sh*t but I also recognise times when I am a bit of a bully and need to take responsibility for this.
The future terrifies me, so I'm going to try and stay in the present, just thinking about the up-coming week for a little while. I've filled in forms to start work experience in a library (just a morning a week). And have been in contact with a voluntary service to help them to support people with disabilities to do yoga.
Best of all, I made a decision, without the help of HTT or the ward, to start taking my medication again during a relapse. I honestly don't remember the last time that happened.
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
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(O.o )
(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.
I went to a community arts/music place today and made a collage. It's good to have somewhere to go, instead of being stuck in the house all day doing nothing. It's a helpful distraction.
They also said they're thinking of doing a production (drama, arts and music etc.) for next year's World Mental Health Day, and it sounds like a lot of fun so I've asked if I can be involved. I really want to do something like set-design plus maybe some art or photography (they're thinking about showing slides as part of a multimedia play/production) and I might get to be a water nymph or a beastie or something!
Bounce Back
Disc Dash
3d Car Driver
